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Old 22-12-2019, 12:19 AM   #1
LRgrad15
 
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Don't like talking about my personal issues with family members

Anyone dislike confiding to family members about personal issues or anything that is bothering them? For me, I dislike it because when I was a lot younger, I was judged for talking about stuff that bothered me and was told to just suck it up. Same thing when I once went through a period of depression. I didn't tell family members but they eventually found from other non-family members. I received a two hour lecture about sucking it up and just thinking happy things when feeling that way. At the end of that conversation, I was asked how I felt.

I actually felt worse but I wasn't about to prolong the conversation so I just told them I felt good. Ever since then, I've been pretty good at putting on a fake front when I'm around them. There has been many times where I'll be feeling depressed or upset and they would have no clue, which is what I want. Has anyone had their family judge them? So basically all my life, with the exception of early childhood, I've hated talking to my family about personal issues. The only thing I will still let them know about is anything medical related.

Otherwise, I don't tell them if I feel upset, sad, depressed, or just going through social problems and self esteem issues. I am way more comfortable and willing to tell close friends about personal stuff but not family members. It is the worst during holidays and any other time when extended family members come and ask me personal stuff. I know it sounds harsh, but just because they are family doesn't mean I want to confide in them. In my opinion, it's none of their business. Anyone else hate it when family members ask you personal information?

Do you feel more comfortable telling close friends and keep a forced happy front when you're around family members? I keep any responses as short and vague as possible especially if they're distant relatives. They don't need to know everything just because we are related. I know it may sound rude and harsh but that's just the way it is in order to avoid judgements. Another reason is because if anything is confided in them, they like passing it on to other family members who really don't need to know. That's why I don't tell anyone, even immediate family members, anything at all. I only tell them good stuff, nothing bad whatsoever.

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Old 23-12-2019, 01:03 PM   #2
one_step_closer
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I don't talk to my family about things because I worry about upsetting them. I find it much easier to talk to friends or professionals and find I can be more honest with them. I too try to keep on a face around family. I don't think you're harsh for choosing who you speak to about how you're feeling, it's all about who you're comfortable with. Although it is a shame that you feel judged by your family. Do you have enough people you are able to talk to?





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Old 28-12-2019, 01:59 AM   #3
Unbreakable.
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I 100% can relate to the way you feel.

I'd rather talk to friends or even coworkers, sometimes even my managers. There's a lot of reasons for that, some are on my family, some are on me I guess.



Some things I cannot change
But till I try, I'll never know


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Old 30-12-2019, 05:30 PM   #4
LRgrad15
 
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Originally Posted by Unbreakable. View Post
I 100% can relate to the way you feel.

I'd rather talk to friends or even coworkers, sometimes even my managers. There's a lot of reasons for that, some are on my family, some are on me I guess.
Same with me. Iíd rather talk to friends, acquaintances on some stuff, and even coworkers on some stuff as well. Especially work related stuff. Yeah my family doesnít need to know my personal buiseness. Iím more lenient on my family knowing good tuff, like getting a new job or something just so they know Iím actually doing something with my life but otherwise, I donít disclose anything especially if itís negative. And if they happen to find out something negative, I downplay it like itís no big deal.

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Old 03-01-2020, 09:27 PM   #5
Amaranth
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I’m exactly the same. We have never been a family that really shares feelings and stuff, and like you I’d be made to feel judged if I was upset or feeling down, sometimes my mum would actually get angry with me if I was feeling something she didn’t think I should be feeling, so I learned to hide how I was feeling and I’ve gone out of my way to hide my true self and how I’m really feeling from them ever since. None of my family knows anything about my depression or my self harming and I have no intention of ever telling them.

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Old 03-01-2020, 09:54 PM   #6
LRgrad15
 
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Iím exactly the same. We have never been a family that really shares feelings and stuff, and like you Iíd be made to feel judged if I was upset or feeling down, sometimes my mum would actually get angry with me if I was feeling something she didnít think I should be feeling, so I learned to hide how I was feeling and Iíve gone out of my way to hide my true self and how Iím really feeling from them ever since. None of my family knows anything about my depression or my self harming and I have no intention of ever telling them.
Iím sorry you have to deal with that. Yeah my parents, especially my dad, has gotten mad at me for feeling down, saying that is babyish and would cause others to not want to be around me. Yeah I learned to keep my feelings to myself. In fact, Iím actually more open about somethings to simple acquaintances than I am with my family. I obviously donít overshare but there are still some things Iíve shared with acquaintances that my family will never know about.

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