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Old 25-09-2019, 11:39 PM   #1
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Best to keep to yourself at work due to being left out

I find that it's best to keep to yourself at work. The reason is because trying to be a part of a team with coworkers seems to be just as hard as it is to fit in during school. I feel like it's best to just interact with them on a professional level and that's it, especially since that's technically what work is for. You're there to work, not really to make friends. You can make friends if you desire, but that's not the purpose.

The reason I come to this conclusion is because my work environment is very cliquy. This can happen in any work environment of any kind. I work at a high school, which is ironic since high schoolers are cliquy too, so technically my coworkers are acting the same way as the students. I tried to fit in with them but they just all shut me out. That's why I only associate with them on a professional level.

I used to try to discuss other things too since they do that with each other but it doesn't work. In fact, there has been times where even if it is work related, they will still exclude me and won't let me in. To me, that's alarming since I feel like if it's work related, then it could be something that I should know about too. They are all older than me so that probably plays a part in it but I still wonder how genuine work "friendships" really are.

I will hear my coworkers tell each other, or even post on facebook that they are great friends but at the same time, there's lots of gossiping. Also there is one coworker that from just seeing her at work, you would think she actually considers everyone a friend, but outside of work, she actually wants nothing to do with anyone at work. That's why I wonder if people who say they are friends with coworkers are just being polite or only keep their "friendship" at work, similar to kids who say they have some friends for school only.

After I stopped trying to be included with them, I noticed that I feel much happier. The only time I still get annoyed is when they exclude me out of work related conversations since it's about work and I feel like everyone on the team should know what's being talked about since it may be important. It makes me think that my coworkers actually don't like me being there. When the day comes for me to leave, which may not be long since I'm looking for another job, I really don't think they will care.

On the rare occasion where I take off work, they don't give a crap, but they do if someone else takes off. Do you guys keep to yourself at work? Do you find it odd that it's odd to be excluded from work related conversations? I actually feel happier now that I keep to myself and only talk when I have to about work related stuff only. I don't engage in gossip, they do that a lot and I want nothing to do with it. I know I've been talked about before. They think I have no idea but I've caught them talking about me before.

I've also caught them talking about each other. One minute it may look like a couple of them are best friends, but as soon as one leaves, the other one will start saying nasty stuff about the person that just left. That's a big part of why I want a new job, also because I need full time anyway. But still, I find that the work environment is very toxic and I shouldn't be there and maybe it's best that I don't fit in. It actually scares me that people who are in there 40's and 50's talk poorly about each other like high school students.

Do you know why coworkers may exclude you from work related discussions? That's really the only other thing, in terms of fitting in, that still bothers me. I no longer care if I'm not a part of some random discussion or invited to an outing that has nothing to do with work. But when I'm left out of a work related discussion, I still get annoyed since I want to know if it's important, which usually it is. Have you ever been excluded from work related discussions as well as non-work related topics? Just wondered what you guys thought.

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Old 26-09-2019, 08:05 AM   #2
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It does sound like your work environment isn't very pleasant so I'm glad that you're feeling happier when you keep to yourself and I hope your job-hunting is going well.

What do you mean by saying nasty stuff about eachother? Sometimes friends can be critical of one another without it actually being an issue.

That does sound frustrating that you feel left out of work-related discussions; can you give an example of the kind of conversation you mean and how exactly they exclude you from the conversation?

We’ll find a way to fight it, we always have.
It's not how tragically we suffer but how miraculously we live.

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