Struggling with being recovered.

[LittleMonster] · 03-07-2020, 03:42 PM

This will probably sound really dumb but it's something that I've been going on for a while and I'd just like some advice or help in general.
I've been recovered fully for 2.5 years now. The thing is I'm actually overweight. I've tried so hard to lose sensibly but I'm just struggling with it.
Part of me just wants to go back to purging all the time as before but it's getting worse. I think it's because I'm meant to be getting married, well next year now but still wanting to go away in September.
Family made jokes about fitting into my dress and having to crash diet etc. They did really get to me and I started to restrict again at one point.
I just don't know what to do. I want to lose and get to a healthy weight and lifestyle but at the same time I'm losing so painfully slowly that I just want to go to old habits.
Has anyone experienced this or has any advice?

Zoe. · 03-07-2020, 04:24 PM

Hey. I'm sorry I don't have any advice but I definitely relate, I am technically recovered but there are still triggers, still urges. I'm also trying to lose healthily, it's hard. You're not alone in this. I hope someone has some helpful advice for you.

Auror. · 03-07-2020, 11:35 PM

I just wanted to say I remember you, and that it's pretty awesome you were able to do so well for so long.

My question is, do you actually NEED to lose weight? Are there medical/health reasons you need to? Or is it more because you feel like you need to more for like, societal or peer pressure reasons? If it's because of medical reasons, are you able to see your GP and work with medical providers to do so safely? If not for medical reasons, I'd be seriously rethinking whether it's worth doing at all given the risk of using old behaviors/ thought patterns/ relapse.

I don't know if you're familiar with the health at every size (HAES) model, but it's something that might be useful to you to look up either way.

Also, congratulations on getting married! I'm sure no matter what your weight or how you do the wedding, your partner will think you look awesome the day of.

[LittleMonster] · 07-07-2020, 08:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Auror.

I just wanted to say I remember you, and that it's pretty awesome you were able to do so well for so long.

My question is, do you actually NEED to lose weight? Are there medical/health reasons you need to? Or is it more because you feel like you need to more for like, societal or peer pressure reasons? If it's because of medical reasons, are you able to see your GP and work with medical providers to do so safely? If not for medical reasons, I'd be seriously rethinking whether it's worth doing at all given the risk of using old behaviors/ thought patterns/ relapse.

I don't know if you're familiar with the health at every size (HAES) model, but it's something that might be useful to you to look up either way.

Also, congratulations on getting married! I'm sure no matter what your weight or how you do the wedding, your partner will think you look awesome the day of.

I remember you too thank you.

I mean I'm medically overweight and a nurse suggested I could do with losing some weight. I also am going away soon and want to look and feel good.
I'm going to try to keep going healthily I think. If old behaviours creep back in I'll stop...

Auror. · 08-07-2020, 06:00 PM

There's a big difference between there being a legitimate medical reason to lose weight and a nurse just saying oh hey you could lose some weight your BMI is too high or whatever. It is your choice, but I hope you are able to stop if things get bad or triggering.

I know plenty of friends who are technically considered overweight but because of having eating disorders/ and or a history of eating disorders they are not supposed to lose weight as it is too dangerous.

[LittleMonster] · 20-07-2020, 02:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Auror.

There's a big difference between there being a legitimate medical reason to lose weight and a nurse just saying oh hey you could lose some weight your BMI is too high or whatever. It is your choice, but I hope you are able to stop if things get bad or triggering.

I know plenty of friends who are technically considered overweight but because of having eating disorders/ and or a history of eating disorders they are not supposed to lose weight as it is too dangerous.

Thank you. I am losing slowly but surely. It's more the fact that I feel uncomfortable in myself and I feel like if I just got back to a healthy weight, even if it's the high end I would feel a lot better.
I haven't given into behaviours or anything like that yet despite having those urges. I seem to be able to ignore them but if they did start to creep back in I would address it.

Thank you for caring it means a lot

Auror. · 20-07-2020, 08:20 PM

I don't know about you, but for me how uncomfortable I feel in my body hasn't changed much at all between my lowest and highest weight (which is significantly different).

I'm glad you are able to ignore the urges for now. Do you know what's helping you ignore them? Maybe it would be useful for you to know that for if they start to get worse? It's also an important reminder I think that urges do pass without having to act on them.

Thinking of you.