Having someone else speak to your therapist

[Shadow time]

Hi

Situation -
UK NHS therapist (specifically eating disorders).

Has anyone got any experience of asking their therapist if they will speak to a friend to try to help them how others see you/what you do "in real life,".

Someone I know has tentatively agreed to talk to my therapist on a phone call if the therapist thinks it may be useful to get more insight how I act around others and someone who knows me. I'm an adult but have no family or close friends who really "know me," in the area who could attend a session or anything like that.

[Shadow time]

i think someone who knows me in real life talking to the therapist *might* help me with some of the walls I have in therapy. The person who would speak to them is someone who always seems to be "right," about what's happening/my life but I brush them off saying things like "I think you're not being objective, I don't look underweight..." etc. BUT they always seem to be right - like they know what I'm doing (such as purging) without telling them. I think it may also help my therapist understand how/why my relationships with others can be so difficult and why I tend to cut myself off from my feelings and people in general.

I'm not sure if that makes sense. Thank you for your response :)

[Pi.R^2]

This sounds like a really good idea. I've not done it in this exact capacity but I have had conversations with other people's MH teams before and they've generally not objected to my input.

I think Camden has made a good suggestion of how to bring it up with your therapist, so I hope you go for it and it does help. Maybe you could offer an alternative of your friend writing a letter explaining their perspective, if your therapist isn't in favour of speaking on the phone, for whatever reason.

Good luck!

[Shadow time]

At this stage - not likely to happen. At first therapist was reluctant and querying why it would help which of course seems natural. The other person has had second thoughts though and now said they would speak to the therapist IF the therapist emailed them first. So I give up. ��

What seemed like a good idea and might help me isn't likely to happen and I'm now on the waiting list for day patient for my ED. It always feels like I'm fighting battles alone (though I know this isn't completely true). ��

[Pi.R^2]

As above!

Are you still seeing the therapist? Maybe your friend could talk to you about the things that they would like the therapist to know and you could attempt to communicate that directly to the therapist. It can sometimes be easier to talk about things when you can say "my friend says that xyz is one of my biggest issues" rather than having to speak directly through your own opinions and experiences.