Live Help


Forum Jump
Post New Thread  Reply
Old 05-07-2007, 02:40 PM   #1
x-mixedemotions
tilly
 
x-mixedemotions's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Worcester, UK
I am currently:
Triggering - New story: Laura

Triggering for SI and Abuse.
***Please Take Care While Reading***
I wrote a story back on the old RYL called Finding Happiness under the name of Mixed_emotion and have decided to write a new story on here, but not about the characters from Finding Happiness. Its in the early stages at the moment and can be improved upon, this first chapter was wrote late at night when i couldnt sleep so it might be a little... bitty and there may be some mistakes. but ill be editing it again at some point just to improve it :] and i'm going purely on what people think, so if you dont like it then ill stop here lol. Comments appreciated.
Please take care...

Meet Laura, a sixteen year old school girl whos about to take her GCSE's. She lives with her parents, Paula and Colin and two younger siblings, Craig and Kelly. Laura is the middle child as she has an older brother who lives away from home. She has a selected couple of friends of whom she is close to, her boyfriend John and best friend Louisa. Laura seems like the normal teenage girl, but looks can be deceiving...
__________________________________________________ _____________



Chapter One
Like mother, Like Daughter

I laugh loudly as I watch John chase Louisa around the classroom, these two are the two best people i have in my life. johns my boyfriend, we've been together since we were fifteen, a whole year ago and Louisa is my best friend of three years. Once he's caught up to her and jumps on her back they walk over to be out of breath and sit next to me, John taking my hand in his and squeezing it tightly.
"Are you coming out tonight Lau?" asks Louisa, looking hopeful
'I cant' I reply 'I've got homework that has to be done' Louisas face drops
"I never get to spend time with you outside of school. Are your parents evil people or something? i've never met them'' she laughs and i laugh too
'no, theyre just strict with school and stuff, they want me to do well' john squeezes my hand even tighter, he's met them, he knows what their like. Ever since then, they banned him from coming round you dont have time for boys my dad said we want you here to do your chores said mum. They just dont want me to have a social life and have friends letalone have a boyfriend. I take a look at the clock and see i'm late, we always stay in school for an extra half an hour and sit up in our form room
'i better go' i say to them both, picking my bag up
"wait and ill walk you home" John says, smiling
'you really dont have to' i say back, putting my bag on my shoulder
"maybe not, but i want to" he says, standing up
'will you be ok on your own Lou?' i ask her and she nods
"im sure ill cope" she says and smiles then gives me a hug and waves bye as me and John walk out the room. He puts his arm around me and we start to walk down the stairs then make our way out of the school gates. Once we're of a good distance from the school John turns to me and brings up what he does every week
"you should talk to Lou babe, she worries about you" i sigh quietly
'John i know, i dont need to be told every week. you know i dont like keeping it from her' i stop at the side of the path and cross the road and walk hurridly round a corner and up a hill until i reach the road i live on, john walking next to me all the way
"why dont you tell her anyway? so what your parents are strict. i mean, mine are too but shes met my mum and dad, i'm sure they'll get on once they meet her" John says rushing up to the side to me
'oh right so ill just tell my friend who has a perfect life about how my parents treat me like crap?' i snap at him
"your boyfriend knows" he says calmly back
'thats different' i reply
"how? how is it different?" he stops and i carry on walking
'you know i cant stop walking, john, if your coming with me walk for goodness sake. and its different because your my boyfriend and i love you and i trust you' eventually, just as im about to walk around the corner i stop and I realise he hasn't started to walk again I turn and walk back up to him
"dont you trust her?" John asks, putting his hands around my waist
'of course i trust her' i say, looking right into his eyes 'you two are the only people i trust'
"so try talking to her"
'i cant. you know all of this. we go through it every friday. every single friday, when are you going to drop it?' i ask him seriously, looking past his head so i can stop the eye contact
"when you talk to her" he says, bringing his hand up to my face to direct my look back at him
'thats not going to happen babe, its just not please stop going on at me' i take a step away from him and take his hands in mine
"this is the part where you say you have to go before your late right?" he asks me and i smile
'afraid so' i lean in and kiss his lips softly
"ill call you tonight, okay?" he says, almost as a question and i nod
'on my mo..'
"on your mobile" he interrupts, knowing what im about to say "i love you baby" each time he says that, it sends butterflies around my stomach, even after a whole year
'i love you too' i kiss him again and then walk off backwards until i go round the corner and cant see him anymore, by this point i'm five minutes late coming home, i can only get away with the thirty-five minutes that i'm at school with Louisa and John because i made up a homework club that i said goes on for half an hour, so mum and dad gave me another five minutes to get home. A minute over, let alone 5 minutes over and there will be trouble. I run the rest of the way up my road and let myself in the front door where I hear the tv playing and where i hear my brother and sister (Craig, whos 5 and Kelly, whos 4) talking and playing.
"your late" my dad says as soon as i walk into the kitchen. I place my bag on the floor in the door way
'i know, sorry, my teacher had to explain something to us about a piece of our homework, i did rush back' i tell him, thinking as i go along *please dont get mad, please dont shout at me.*
"i could easily stop these homework clubs and tell you to be back earlier if you carry on being late young lady" dad says, looking angry
'im sorry' i say, standing in the doorway still
"if your mother was here you know how angry she would be Laura" he says and i nod "because shes not here i'll let you off, JUST this once and i really mean JUST this one" the word just said a bit louder than all the others "do you understand?" i nod
'one hundred percent, i wont let you down' i say to him
"go get changed then come and make Kelly and Craig their dinner, some of the lads are coming round tonight while your mothers at Janets, so anything the little ones want and also the lads, you'll see too wont you Laura?" he says as an instruction
'yes dad' i say, taking a step out of the kitchen door then running upstairs to get changed. while in my room i notice my draw isn't fully closed like i make sure it is, this means its been looked in again. *i have to find a better hiding place now. i wish they would keep out of my stuff.* After getting changed i quickly go to the toilet then run downstairs to see Craig and Kelly
'hi you two' i say as cheerfully as i can
"your home!" Kelly announces as she comes over to me and hugs me "I missed you"
'i missed you too sausage' i say to her, picking her up then I walk over to Craig and kiss him on the head
"err get off" he says as he wipes his head and Kelly laughs
'what do you two want for dinner? fish fingers, beans and chips or sausages, peas and mash?' i ask them, placing Kelly on the sofa
"FISHY FINGERS!" Kelly shouts "SAUSAGES BUT WITH BEANS" Craig says at almost the same time.
'i had a feeling this might happen. i tell you what shall i cook both fish fingers AND sausages? I'm not going to do this every day though, its just a one off' they both nod enthusiastically
"Laura will you do that? please. i dont want smelly fish" Craig says whiney
'For you two, anything' i say and walk out the room and back into the kitchen where my dad has a beer out and a cigarette. I hurridly move around him and get cooking the dinner, placing the fish fingers and sausages into the oven with the chips for Craig. Once i've done that i make myself a drink of squash and get some homework out trying not to let my dad see my mobile thats in my bag, its always on silence, especially when i'm at home. My older brother Chris got it for me when he moved out, or rather got chucked out, so he could ring me or i could contact him whenever i needed to but he only got it me on the promise that i would never let mum or dad see it or hear it because otherwise they would take it off me. I take my homework over to the kitchen table and place it out then sit down and start working on it
"what do you have today?" dad asks, walking over to me while taking a drag of his cigarrette and blowing the smoke in my direction
'just english, nothing much really but i'd rather get it done now rather then when all your friends come round seeing as i'll probably be running round all night after you lot' i say with a tone in my voice
"dont have that attitude with me Laura"
'Sorry i didnt mean it like that, i'm just tired' making up any excuse i can and smiling at him
"your really testing my patience today girl, first you come back late because you think you can get away with it because you know your mother wasnt here" *here comes the raised voice* "and now you disrespect me because I asked you to help me tonight while my friends are here" *im not disrespecting you* "you need to be more appreciative of me on days like this young lady otherwise i'll see to it that your mother is here every friday when you insist on being late" *i insist on it? its more trouble than its worth.* "now your ignoring me" he shouts and he bangs his hand on the table right next to me, making me jump
'i'm not.. sorry, i'm really not ignoring you. I was reading my book, dad' i say sheepishly. He leans in close to me and says steernly in my ear
"watch your back today girly otherwise there maybe trouble. Do you understand?" I nod at him and he walks off "good" *i hate this house. i hate it.* For the rest of the night I tiptoe around my father and his drunk, unruley friends. I make sure Kelly and Craig get to bed at the right time and I make sure they take their bath on time so I don't make him more angry. By the time mums home its ten o'clock, she's drunk like she is on every single friday night and is ordering me around telling me to get drinks, to get something to eat for Geoff, Dave and Simon, to stop the dog from barking, to tidy up. At eleven o'clock i decide its time for my bed time. *what shall I do tomorrow? Oh i know, look after the kids, tidy the house, make the food, do the shopping*. Yawning, i walk into the front room where all the adults are sat and Geoff taps me on the bum
"Your growing up fast aren't you pet" *i am not your pet*. I smile at him and my mum snaps
'Dont ignore our guests you selfish little girl' *little girl? im growing up right infront of you and going through all of this stuff and you dont even realise, your my mother and you dont care about anyone but yourself.*
"I take after my mother in many ways, dont I?" I say to her and she stands up and stares me right in the eyes
'What did you just say?' she shouts at me
"Paula, leave her" dad says, trying to stand between us
"You heard what I said mother. I'm so sick of this. Geoff, Dave, Simon, I'm sorry about this" I say, turning to walk out of the room. *At least i have the decency to apologise for my behaviour.*
'Say it again girly, I dare you to say it again' my mum says, raising her voice at me again, pushing my dad out the way which by this point he realises she's being serious
"You called me selfish" I say to her slowly, taking a step away to try get into the doorway of the front room but she pushes me against the wall "and I said I take after my mother" *wait for it. wait for it.* By this point, I'm tired and I'm exhausted from running around after them all night. She hits me hard around the face and spits 'bitch' in my face "I have alot of your traits dont I?" she slaps me again, harder this time "Your not fit to be a mother, you only care about one person, you dont care about those children upstairs, you dont care about me. You go out and get pissed and act like a slut because your not getting any here anymore, Am i right?" I shout at her, never taking my eyes off hers, enjoying watching the anger boiling in her face. She punches me hard in the face again then grabs my arm and I try to wriggle free but she's holding it so tightly that I can't, she pulls my sleeve up and shows Geoff, Dave and Simon my arm which is covered in scars, new and old. Silence takes over the room until mum starts laughing
'see your not so brave now are you?' she screams at me 'show your fathers friends your arms, go on, show them' my eyes start to fill up with tears and I gulp hard 'oh babies crying, dont like confrontation do you?' i stay quiet and try to stop my tears from falling, pulling my arm out of her grip hitting her around the face by accident and she punshes me again
"get out of my sight, go on, GET OUT!" crying I walk out of the front room door then turn and look at her
'I hate you, you know that? I hate your guts. And you' I shout looking at my dad whos stood behind my mum gobsmacked.
"GET OUT!" my mum says, taking another swing for me. I pick my school bag up from the kitchen and walk out the front door. The cold hits me as I walk out the door and I start crying but carry on walking. I go and sit outside my school and take my mobile out of my bag, I turn it on and dial Johns number. *please be awake, please be awake.* After a few rings John picks up
'Hey baby I didnt think you were going to ring' he says and i sniffle
"John i need somewhere to stay. Please, I need somewhere to stay" I say between sobs until i'm crying so hard I can hardly speak
'baby where are you? tell me where you are, whats happened?' he asks and he pauses but noticing I cant speak he sighs 'tell me where you are baby and i'll get my mum to come pick you up with me, try calm down for me' concern taking over his voice
"s.. schh.. schh" I try to say then I start crying again, almost hyperventalating, I listen as he runs to his mum and explains to her that i'm upset, that i'm outside school and i listen as they rush around
'baby we're on our way now ok? wait by the gate and we'll be there in five minutes'
"okay" i whisper down the phone and hang up. *Please hurry up John.* Sure enough, five minutes late a car pulls up infront of me and John steps out, followed by his mum, he runs up to me and puts his arms around me
'its okay now baby, i'm here, we're here, we'll help you but you gotta calm down, try real hard to calm down' he kisses my forehead over and over and brushes my hair with his hand. His mum comes over and takes me in her arms
'its okay now angel, come on home with us' Once i'm in her arms, I start to calm down.
"i'm so sorry" I whisper "i'm so so sorry" i say again
'shhh hey, dont be sorry, you haven't done anything, i always said we're here to help do you remember?' Trisha says and I nod 'there you go then, no apologies, come on angel, get in the car for me'. I sit in the car and John sits next to me, all of a sudden I feel safe, like nothing can hurt me.
"I love you baby" John says over and over. My heart melting and my eyes hurting from all the tears. this *is all my fault. i shouldn't of said that to her.*


Last edited by x-mixedemotions : 21-09-2008 at 08:15 PM.


**If You Love Someone Or Something Enough, Set Them Free.**


I Will Never Forget You.


x-mixedemotions is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-07-2007, 03:23 PM   #2
Feel_Good_inc.
I am a leaf on the wind; watch how I soar
 
Feel_Good_inc.'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Somewhere, but I'm not really sure
I am currently:

I hope you'll appreciate the honesty i try and put forward here.
Now i did like it, it's a pretty good coming of age story. The child growing up and the parents not quite accepting it and the over protectiveness, all very nice. correct me if i'm wrong but i am sensing a hint of real life experience being drawn from there.
I've noticed some potential. there is a talent for writing there, it's small at the moment, a little underdevloped. But thats nothing a little practice won't help. I know this because i was writing in a similar way myelf just a few years ago.
just Read more of your favourite authors, Write wherever and whenver you have the chance and work on any idea you have. There is no such thing as a bad story only bad ways of telling them. But more importantly don't be afraid to Re-write. as your skill grows and devlops so will your work and every time it's re-written it will be better.
Do all that and you could be a great writer, if you wanted to.

Good part: the conversations, the talking between chracters was realistic, very true to life. like the small in-jokes that friends have and certain words and phrases that you would only use around the family. all these were good.
Bad part (but easily fixed by following above tips):everything just seemed...flat, is the best word that comes to mind. there is little to no description of the people or places they are in. it's an easy mistake for writers because you have the images in your head it's easy to forget others won't.
The chracters just come across as two-dimensional. No while the conversations are good, i'm talking about extra stuff. little thoughts and foibles that make a person who they are. the strengths and weaknesses that add complexity to the chracter and make them more human and relatable. and if you can't relate to a chracter you can't feel for them and can't get into their story. No again this is an easy mistake to make. Learning to add on those little habits that make a chracter more human is one of the hardest skills to learn but it is the most beneficial.
What do i kow you may think: I've been writing since i was 13, i'm 21 now. everything i've told you you could learn from doing a writing course or buying a book on writing advice like Stephen King's Memoirs of the craft. but i figured this stuff out for myself through many years of honing my skill.

What is the message of this rant? You are OK but you have the potential to be so much better if you want.



Don't be fooled by my smooth skin. The deepest scars are the ones unseen.
Remember compliments you received, forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how..~ Baz Lurhman.
Letting it get to you - You know what that's called? Being alive. Best thing there is. Being alive right now that's all that counts. ~ Doctor Who "The Doctors Wife"
06.November.2011



Feel_Good_inc. is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-07-2007, 03:43 PM   #3
x-mixedemotions
tilly
 
x-mixedemotions's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Worcester, UK
I am currently:

hey
thanks
yeah i havent got into much detail about the characters yet, i plan to over the next couple of chapters. Thank you for the reply :] i will take on board all youve said lol i wrote that first chapter last night when i couldnt sleep so its not brilliant :P i plan to go over it at some point and improve on it the best i can :]] thanks again xx



**If You Love Someone Or Something Enough, Set Them Free.**


I Will Never Forget You.


x-mixedemotions is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-07-2007, 08:30 PM   #4
hahaugotpunked87
mwuahahaha you cant stop me no matter who you are
 
hahaugotpunked87's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: new york
I am currently:

wow i liked this story alot
please add more to it so i can keep reading it



XoXo i can be your excape XoXo
"if it werent for electricity we would all be watching tv by candel light"
"drop the magic wand and step away from the unicorn"
"well that was a waste of a spoon"
i love everyone in my ryl family<333
you all know who you are
*wink wink* *nudge nudge*


hahaugotpunked87 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-07-2007, 03:59 PM   #5
x-mixedemotions
tilly
 
x-mixedemotions's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Worcester, UK
I am currently:

hey ill add to it either later, in a couple of hours if its done, or tomorrow when ive got more time to do it xx



**If You Love Someone Or Something Enough, Set Them Free.**


I Will Never Forget You.


x-mixedemotions is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-07-2007, 03:24 PM   #6
x-dying-inside-x
*Dan*
 
x-dying-inside-x's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: london
I am currently:

cant wait to read more hunny.



" my precious, precious child, I love you and I would never, never leave you during your times of trials and suffering. When you see only one set of footprints it was then that I carried you" you were carried out of are lifes into the next and when its my time to leave this life I know i will be carried into the next life with you.
I wish i had my world complete again.
'Can we protend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars, i could really use a wish right now' BoB

x-dying-inside-x is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-07-2007, 09:19 PM   #7
x-mixedemotions
tilly
 
x-mixedemotions's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Worcester, UK
I am currently:

hey sorry i havent posted more yet ive had a hectic few days, im not working tomorrow so ill try get it done then. xxx



**If You Love Someone Or Something Enough, Set Them Free.**


I Will Never Forget You.


x-mixedemotions is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-07-2007, 05:13 PM   #8
x-mixedemotions
tilly
 
x-mixedemotions's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Worcester, UK
I am currently:

this chapter isnt brilliant. or i dont feel as though its brilliant right now. but it connects the first and third chapter together. hopefully chapter 3 will be completed tonight if i have a chance. possible trigger for SI



Chapter Two
Abandoned.


I wake up with a start after having a nightmare to find myself lying on a sofa in a strange house. For a second, I'm lost and Iím not sure where I am, but then I remember, I'm at Johnís. I turn to the clock on the wall and check what time it is, itís four in the morning. Quietly, I find my bag out, put my shoes on and walk out of the door making sure to close it quietly. *I canít believe I put them through that*. I take a look back at Johnís parentís large house with their two cars in the drive, expensive ones mind. He has it so easy, does John. His parents spoil him rotten and they never say no to anything he wants. He'll never fully understand what its like to live in the house where I live. The tatty rooms say it all, thereís no sign of my siblings being there, thereís no toys anywhere; I have to put them away every night. There are no toys in the bathroom to show a child bathes in there. There are just five tooth brushes on the sink, a sign that more than just my parents live there. The wall paper hangs off the walls in my bedroom, the only decent thing thatís in there are the photos of my friends on my wall; all taken at school may I add. The only time I'm happy is when I'm with John or with Louisa. No one else truly understands me. I have other friends, sure, but I'm never as happy with them as I am with John and Louisa. Even if she doesnít know everything there is to know about me.
Quietly, I let myself into my home and tip toe upstairs, careful not to make a noise so my mother doesnít wake up. I go into my room and crawl into bed, not bothering to change. I donít sleep for the rest of the morning. I lay wide awake in my bed and keep my phone under my pillow in case things blow up when my mum realise Iím home. I've text Chris telling him whatís happened, I guess he should know that his mother basically beat one of his sisters up. Itís not the first time though, this is just the first time I answered back so the punishment, so to speak, was worse than what it has been before. Sheís never kicked me out and sheís never told me to leave. She's threatened to do so, but never actually has. My mother will never understand the arts of parenthood. She will never be able to dig herself out of this self pitying hole she seems to have built for herself. She doesnít care that her two youngest miss her and need her. She doesnít care that her oldest daughter is acting the mother. She doesnít care how much of a mess the house is. The only thing she cares about is getting her self all the designer clothes and make up. As long as she has her expensive clothes, make up, alcohol and some food to shove in her mouth, she'll be happy.
At seven in the morning I hear my dad get out of bed. He comes into my room and sees I'm awake. My dad has grasped the arts of parenthood, unlike my mother. He acts like a parent. Heís protective and he wantís me to do well. He's never beaten me or called me all those names. Sure, he's stern and tells me what to do, but what dad doesnít? He likes things the way he has it, he likes that he has his dinner on the table ready for when he's home from work and he doesnít really care who makes it. I donít think he truly thought that this would be how his life would turn out. With his eldest daughter and wife at each other almost all the time, with his wife hitting his daughter, with his eldest son, who he's told many times how proud he is of him for making something of himself living away from home and seeing him once a month if he's lucky. I donít think he fully realised that my mother was the controlling person she is and I'm not sure that if he had, he'd of got with her.
'Are you okay Laura?' he whispers to me and strokes my face. His brown hair messy like it hasnít been brushed yet
"yeah" I whisper back
'I'm so sorry I didnít stop her and I'm so sorry I snapped at you yesterday when you were doing your homework' he says staring into my eyes, with real regret showing on his face
"I know" I whisper and he kisses my head
'I'm just stressed, you know? Mum isn't well Lau, you know that, you know she missed her medication' he says then pauses 'you really didn't need to push her how you did'
"I was telling her the truth. She shouldn't of pushed ME like she did, dad" he nods in agreement then gets up
'I have to get ready for work, Iíve called Chris and Iíve arranged for him to come get you at nine so you don't stay here with your mum, your grandmothers going to come and get the little ones at about half eight. She just needs space right now okay?'
"Okay" I say and watch as he turns and goes to my door
'Dad?' I whisper and he turns 'it'll be okay wont it? Sheís not going to stay angry at me forever is she?' I ask him and he smiles
"Right now I donít know because I donít know whatís going on in her mind, but she'll calm down. Sheís just at a hard patch in her life at the moment, we've got to remember that. I'll look out for you, Laura, I wont let a repeat of last night happen but you have to co operate with me"
'I promise I will. I didnít enjoy it either you know?' I say to him 'and dad?' I say and he stops walking again 'I didnít mean what I said, I donít hate you' I say to him and he smiles again
"I know you didnít. I'll see you later okay? Try and get some sleep, I heard you come in early so try to sleep" he walks out of my room and closes the door quietly behind him. I sigh and take my phone from under my pillow and write a text to John;
Baby. I know itís still early and I donít know if you'll be up yet. I couldnít stay there, I had to get back before my mum woke up. I'm going to my brothers for a couple of days. I'll ask him if you can come round ok? Iíll call you. Please tell your mum I said thanks for last night, I needed to get in from the cold for a few hours. Thanks okay? I love you so much xxxI double check the message then press send. I close my phone and then put it back under my pillow. For the next ten or so minutes I lie in bed *I canít stay lying here for two hours* I think to myself then get up and turn my light on and decide to pack a bag to go to my brothers with. After getting my bag ready I take out my diary and a pen and write in it

9th July 2006
Iím really struggling today. Last night mum and I had a big bust up. I know she didnít take her medication and I know she feels bad right now but that doesnít mean she can take it out on me all the time. Dad came in my room earlier and said sorry for not stopping her. I guess I understand why he didnít, because he couldnít. She pulled my sleeve up and showed everyone my arm. They all saw. The room went quiet. I canít believe she did that. How does she even know that I do that? Oh, she probably reads my diary and has found razors or something. Maybe SHES who keeps coming into here when Iím not in and goes through everything.
I ended up going to Johns and staying there for a few hourís, I woke up at 4 and rushed home. I didnít want her to wake up and me not be in. Dadís sorted it so I go to Chrisí for a few days while she sorts herself out. I donít know whatís going to happen about school on Monday, I canít exactly go with my face like this. Both my eyes are swollen and black and my lip has a cut on it. Thatís how hard she hit me and its funny because I didnít feel it until today when I woke up. I guess Iíve got some resistance to being punched now sheís done it a few times. Not that itís ever been this hard before. I canít believe she did that.
And now Iím fighting really hard not to cut or do something silly. I just want to get away from this house and I donít think Chrisí will be far enough. I want to get away for more than a few daysÖforever. I guess Iíll have to look into moving away sometime or if it comes to it, running away. I donít think anyone would miss me anyway. The only thing that would suffer would be my school work. Iíve not got long left there anymore so I guess I should stick it out and finish it. Make dad happy. I havenít even decided if I want to go to college and everyone has. Everyone that I know has decided what they want to do, most of them are going to college. They want to go to University too and Iím stuck trying to decide what to do still. I wish everything was handed to you on a plate so you didnít have to make these decisions. Well its eight oíclock now and I should get the little ones out of bed and ready to go to Nanís before the bitch wakes up. I donít mean that. Sheís not a bitch. And I need to try to understand whatís going on with her. But Iíve got enough going on with me. I wish she would try and listen to me instead of knowing about my cutting and never trying to talk to me about it and then shoving it in my face and showing everyone else too. I wish she would let me have a life. I know dadís better than mum, but I wish he would let me have a life too.
Iím off now then.
Iíll update soon.

I tuck my book and pen away in my bag to take to my brothers with me then carefully go into Kelly and Craigís room. Their room is beautifully decorated. Thereís a curtain that separates each side of their room. Kellyís is decorated really girly, baby pink walls, a pink bed spread, with her Barbie dolls and toys everywhere, neatly on shelves are the more expensive dolls that our Nan got her. China dolls. Ornaments.. Kelly loves her ornaments even at the age she is now. Then thereís Craigís side of the room. Itís a lovely sky blue colour with a car painted on one wall. With his toys everywhere, a football bed spread and everything else a young boy could ask for. Each of them have the blondest of blonde hair and amazing eyes. Kellyís hair has started to go a darker blonde but Craigís has stayed like it. You would never know it, but mumís hair is blonde, but itís died brown. I have blonde hair like Kelly. Really bright blonde and each one of us seemed to have inherited our dads beautiful eyes. By the time half past eight comes Kelly and Craig are both ready and sat in the front room watching TV. I let Nan in and she touches my face which makes me wince and pull a way a little
ďYour mother did this?Ē she asks me
Ďitís nothing Nan, Iím okayí I tell her and walk into the front room
ďyou donít look okay, it looks really soreĒ she says to me
Ďreally Iím okay. It is a little sore but itíll be fine in a couple of daysí
ďhow dare she do this to you Laura. This is a lot worse than itís ever been, this isnít normal, by no means normal Laura, she needs helpĒ *your own mum can see it, why canít you?*
ĎI know Nan, but only she can get herself helpí I say to my Gran. Her make up immaculately done and her hair tidy and brushed and neatly placed in all the right places.
ďthatís not trueĒ
Ďif anyone says anything to anyone else, theyíll take the little ones off us, thatís not going to happen okay? Sheíd never hurt them Naní
ďbut she hurts youĒ
Ďthatís not the point. Iím old enough to take care of myselfí
ďyou wouldnít know that looking at your face sweetheartĒ *sheís right. Again. Sheís absolutely right, I canít look after myself. Iím worse than my mum. Iím worse than she is with taking care of herself*
ĎI know but Iím okay, if Iím ever not I know how to get in touchí I say to her and smile
ďhereĒ she says, taking money out of her bag ďgive half to Christopher, your dad mentioned you were going thereĒ She hands me £60
ĎI canít take that Naní I say to her and she puts it in my pocket
ďIím not going to take no as an answer, at least I know you have a little money. If you ever need anymore all you have to do is give me a ringĒ I smile at her then give her a hug
ĎI wish she was more like youí I say to her
ďI do tooĒ Nan says then looks at the little ones
ďCome on then you two lets get going and let Laura get ready to see ChristopherĒ Sheís the only one that can get away with calling him Christopher. Kelly and Craig stand up and hug me and then follow Nan out of the door. I stand at the front door and wave bye to them as they drive off, they wave back until they canít see me anymore and then Chris appears in his car. I smile as best I can and walk into the house, get my bag and go straight out again. Thereís no point in him coming in now that Craig and Kelly have gone. I get in his car and sit in the front passenger seat
ďshe really did get angry didnít she?Ē he asks me and I look at him
Ďlets not talk about it. Iím fed up of talking about ití Chris shrugs and reverses out of the drive ĎI want to ask a favourí I tell him and he laughs
ďof course he can come over just donít tell the parents okay?Ē he knew exactly what I was going to say. I ring John and tell him to come over at twelve so I can get a little sleep. At least now Iím a bit more safe than what I have been the past couple of nights. Chris would never let any harm come to me or the other two. Heís settled down with his girlfriend whoís expecting their first baby. They are both so unbelievably excited about it, Iím going to be an aunt! Iím so proud of Chris and all heís achieved ever since she kicked him out. Heís picked himself up and made a life for himself. I wish I could be more like him, more independent. More free.



**If You Love Someone Or Something Enough, Set Them Free.**


I Will Never Forget You.


x-mixedemotions is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-07-2007, 01:55 AM   #9
x-mixedemotions
tilly
 
x-mixedemotions's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Worcester, UK
I am currently:

i guess my second chapter didnt go down too well tthen.
ermmm.
ill stop writing now :)
x



**If You Love Someone Or Something Enough, Set Them Free.**


I Will Never Forget You.


x-mixedemotions is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-07-2007, 03:27 AM   #10
Heaven Knows
This Member Has Left.
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
I am currently:

i liked it :)
please write more...

Heaven Knows is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-07-2007, 08:51 PM   #11
x-dying-inside-x
*Dan*
 
x-dying-inside-x's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: london
I am currently:

dont stop writing its great.
ive not been on for the last few days so ive not had time to read, but i hae now and i love it.



" my precious, precious child, I love you and I would never, never leave you during your times of trials and suffering. When you see only one set of footprints it was then that I carried you" you were carried out of are lifes into the next and when its my time to leave this life I know i will be carried into the next life with you.
I wish i had my world complete again.
'Can we protend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars, i could really use a wish right now' BoB

x-dying-inside-x is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-07-2007, 09:43 PM   #12
Just Believe.
It's Hard to Fight When The Fight Ain't Fair.
 
Just Believe.'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
I am currently:

I liked it too :)

It's really good..don't stop writing! x



Forever & Always


Just Believe. is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14-07-2007, 12:15 AM   #13
x-mixedemotions
tilly
 
x-mixedemotions's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Worcester, UK
I am currently:

hey ill update this soon
been a bit busy recently but whenever i can i will xxx



**If You Love Someone Or Something Enough, Set Them Free.**


I Will Never Forget You.


x-mixedemotions is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-07-2007, 05:05 AM   #14
theoretical
Example is the best precept
 
theoretical's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Georgia
I am currently:

please write more, I'm interested.
But it's a little hard to read because of the layout. maybe indenting conversations, and putting space between paragraphs?
Good, interesting story. Poor Laura. Why does her mother resent her so much more than her siblings?




When it is dark enough, you can see the stars.
- Charles A. Beard



In the depth of winter I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer.

-Albert Camus




theoretical is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-07-2007, 02:28 PM   #15
crazykat
Fight for another day
 
crazykat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Australia

Don't stop writing, this is really interesting



"Recovery is something that you have to work
on every single day and it's
something that doesn't
get a day off."


crazykat is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-07-2007, 04:35 PM   #16
Rawrk
 

More (:

It's really good, please write more.
xx

  Reply With Quote
Old 15-07-2007, 09:18 PM   #17
x-mixedemotions
tilly
 
x-mixedemotions's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Worcester, UK
I am currently:

hey
ill try my best to get next chapter done tonight if not it will be done tomorrow as im not working! keep a look out xx



**If You Love Someone Or Something Enough, Set Them Free.**


I Will Never Forget You.


x-mixedemotions is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16-07-2007, 01:28 AM   #18
x-mixedemotions
tilly
 
x-mixedemotions's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Worcester, UK
I am currently:

im wrting now xxx



**If You Love Someone Or Something Enough, Set Them Free.**


I Will Never Forget You.


x-mixedemotions is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 17-07-2007, 12:02 AM   #19
x-mixedemotions
tilly
 
x-mixedemotions's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Worcester, UK
I am currently:

hi im so sorry i have a few things going on and havent been getting much time to myself. i didnt manage to get it finished last night but ill have it on here by wednesday, as im working all day tomorrow. sorry again!! xxx



**If You Love Someone Or Something Enough, Set Them Free.**


I Will Never Forget You.


x-mixedemotions is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 17-07-2007, 12:54 AM   #20
x-dying-inside-x
*Dan*
 
x-dying-inside-x's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: london
I am currently:

you dnt have to be sorry.
cant wait to read!!!!!!



" my precious, precious child, I love you and I would never, never leave you during your times of trials and suffering. When you see only one set of footprints it was then that I carried you" you were carried out of are lifes into the next and when its my time to leave this life I know i will be carried into the next life with you.
I wish i had my world complete again.
'Can we protend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars, i could really use a wish right now' BoB

x-dying-inside-x is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Members Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Censor is ON
Forum Jump


Sea Pink Aroma
All times are GMT +1. The time now is 04:42 AM.