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Old 21-09-2008, 07:17 AM   #1
angel wings
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Triggering (SI) - Depression?

Hiii everyone...

How've you all been?


Guys, I just don't know what to do anymore.
The SI thing, I haven't done it in quite awhile, up till recently. It's not that I had gotten over it, but simply because I just didn't have a need to do it. But nowthat everything's changing, I want to do it all the time... But at the same time, I want to use all my power to not do it, and it's turning out to not be enough. As a result, I've ended up with multiple cuts...

Here's the thing though. I'm almost NEVER HAPPY anymore, and I just don't feel like talkign to anyone.... About ANYTHING. My social skills are becoming almost nonexistent, as i just don't have the drive to talk to my friends about anything now, be it serious/important to jovial and lighthearted!
I'm always tired, even when I sleep. And I'm just so fed up.
I have no time for anything other than work right now, but I'm just so tired :( I reallly wanna stop SI, but at the same time, I don't. Because it's the only thing I'm not tired... of... And i control it. Or something.
Everything's the same... I'm ignored all over again....
What do ya think?

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Old 21-09-2008, 08:00 AM   #2
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: England

From what you write, it seems like you already know part of the answer, talking to someone. If you have a T/counsellor, now would be a good time to tell them what's going on, that you feel like you're slipping, that you're starting to SI again...

Lacking energy and motivation are common things with depression, and the one thing that can help considerably is to have a routine. Get up at a sensible time, go to bed at a sensible time, eat three, regular, sensible meals, don't skip your meds, get out and *do* something with your day, be it work or something to enjoy yourself (in otherwords, don't sit and mope). Have a routine, and stick with it, it will get easier with time, and you will find you have more oomph about you.

You may also find something like journalling your feelings is helpful.


Thank you for letting me stay here
Thank you for taking me in

-Gratitude, Ani DiFranco

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Old 21-09-2008, 06:14 PM   #3
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Yeh, a journal or a diary would be good because then you could see what is happening regarding your mood, motivation, social skills etc and could be quite useful if you went to get help. Try and plan something for each day, dont leave too much time for brooding because that will just make it worse. Exercise really helps with depression, so try and do some each day even if its only 15 mins.

Like Rhi said, try and keep a routine and eat 3 meals a day and try not to oversleep because oversleeping can cause you to be just as tired as not having enough sleep.

Lastly, it would be a good idea to go and talk to your doctor, they would be able to help you and sort something out so that you can start to feel better.

PM me if you need it, dont ever feel like you're alone, you''ve got all of us here.

God Bless


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Old 21-09-2008, 09:10 PM   #4
angel wings
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Thanks guys...

The thing is, every single day I'm out from 7am - after 6 in the evening. Except for Sunday. lol. Saturday I'm gone in the morning.
It's my last year of high school, and we've all been ridiculously busy. I really want to do medicine, you see. So there's no time to waste. How my school is structured, it's hard to find time to eat, even when you have your hour of lunch break. I'm always running to and fro. And after school, I have lessons, or classes... And community service.
For the next year, I've totally given up everything. And I have to find time to study as well. So the journal is out for me, because I don't have the patience or time for it lol. I never did.
I guess I've been asking for my own trouble. But I've found my resolve. I will push myself until I get into med school. And here, it's unbelieveably hard to get into med school. One can get a scholarship here and not get in.....
If the only thing I have to drive me is my determination, I will do that... Even if I would be depressed through most of it.

I guess none of that makes sense.....

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