Long but definitely worth the read. There's a lot of feeling in this, I felt it. I almost felt as though I was outside smoking a cigarette with you, looking back on old times. Personal favorite parts; "always the way isn't it
murphy's law or something"
"maybe we will circle out of this cycle
maybe someday ill see you in passing
and we will smile a smile of outlaws who got away with something"
That alliteration in the first line of that bottom quote-awesome. I enjoyed this, well done, keep writing!