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Old 18-12-2010, 12:36 AM   #38281
PsychoKitty2010
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hmmm where to start... I didn't think your gma was ad I just wanted that portion of your post in the proper order in my head lol sometimes stuff comes out differently than I want it to or makes less sense outside my head :) seems this time two subjects got stuck together... I'm glad you were honest with your gma and can talk to her *hugs*
as for the other portion, I was figuring that the girl causing you to dissociate my have her own motivations or emotions in regards to causing you to si or dissociate in general. wondered if maybe communication might help some. Does that make more sense?
-hugs back- I have realized something that scares me shitless. I am just like my biological mom, and other relatives, only worse. I was lucky (sarcasm) to be blessed with (sarcasm again) schizophrenia. I was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder, but I have no realized that diagnosis is wrong. I wrote a poem the other day about it...about the girl. That's when it made sense to me. If you would like to read it, I posted it in the creative corner, but I will warn you, it is really triggering. So keep that in mind.
The girl has gone stronger, as I mentioned in the poem, recently. Now she is with me 24 hours a day. She just sits there with an evil smile on her face and whispers things in my ears and no matter if I'm watching movies or listening to music, her words seep into my brain. She tells me to do bad things...bad, bad things. I need to talk to my doctor about it, but I hate him. I want to go see my psychologist again, I like her better. But I can't go see her again unless I go in for learning disability testing, because that's her job through the uni, is to give LD testing. I don't know...don't know. The girl is driving me mad. She is pure evil. She has taken the form of me as a little girl. She knows I have chronic post traumatic stress disorder, and likes to use flashbacks and panic attacks against me, so I will do what she wants. She is not imaginary...she is real...-sighs-

-turns on the tv and dvd player and puts in the movie A Beautiful Mind and sits on the big comfy couch with her infinite pillows and fuzzy blankies, and her dolphin that she got from her brother before he passed away 15 years ago- Anyone is welcome to join me.



~*~*~ I love my wardies ~*~*~

hi. Im Danika. 14, sad, and alone. Dont really like bein touched.
Im Chloe. Im 6 years old and shy. I like to play and color.
I'm Clarissa. I'm 17 and a protector. I do what I need to for everyone else.


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Old 18-12-2010, 12:44 AM   #38282
PoisonedApple
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*sits with Kitty and thinks*



I was lei'd in vets! ***** Proud Plumeria Sister!

"He said look inside your heart/ And you'll see stars/ Falling stars/ Look, deep into my eyes/ Don't look down/ Or you'll fall, he said/ Here, the sky goes on forever"


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Old 18-12-2010, 12:50 AM   #38283
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-offers crimson some pillows and fuzzy blankies, and half smiles- how you be?



~*~*~ I love my wardies ~*~*~

hi. Im Danika. 14, sad, and alone. Dont really like bein touched.
Im Chloe. Im 6 years old and shy. I like to play and color.
I'm Clarissa. I'm 17 and a protector. I do what I need to for everyone else.


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Old 18-12-2010, 12:52 AM   #38284
PoisonedApple
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i'm drained. you?



I was lei'd in vets! ***** Proud Plumeria Sister!

"He said look inside your heart/ And you'll see stars/ Falling stars/ Look, deep into my eyes/ Don't look down/ Or you'll fall, he said/ Here, the sky goes on forever"


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Old 18-12-2010, 01:00 AM   #38285
PsychoKitty2010
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I'm okish. But I don't know. Not really at the same time. I'm in one of my, what I like to call, dangerously fragile moods. -offers popcorn-

What time is it there?



~*~*~ I love my wardies ~*~*~

hi. Im Danika. 14, sad, and alone. Dont really like bein touched.
Im Chloe. Im 6 years old and shy. I like to play and color.
I'm Clarissa. I'm 17 and a protector. I do what I need to for everyone else.


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Old 18-12-2010, 01:02 AM   #38286
PoisonedApple
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4 pm
dangerously fragile... hmmm that's a good descriptor actually... i never know how to describe my moods that makes sense to other people but with yours i totally get it. *nods*



I was lei'd in vets! ***** Proud Plumeria Sister!

"He said look inside your heart/ And you'll see stars/ Falling stars/ Look, deep into my eyes/ Don't look down/ Or you'll fall, he said/ Here, the sky goes on forever"


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Old 18-12-2010, 01:06 AM   #38287
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Heya guys :) Im sorry you feel that way Mark, dont give up, your an awesome guy! I'v got some news i went to the hospital Wednesday for a review of when i was
The following content has been hidden - Reason : may be triggering
diagnosed with cancer. They are hoping that i should be all clear now. I was so pleased when i heard that as i was really upset when they diagnosed me with it but now im alot happier knowing that i should be all clear. They said the cure rate for me now is 98% - 99%



14/06/2007 -

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Old 18-12-2010, 01:13 AM   #38288
PsychoKitty2010
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I sorry Monsoon I dont remember your name...I just...I cant remember...I sorry...

Good results. Good. Let us know for sure. I hope its good. Ya. Good. Sorry. I'm having trouble expressing what I am meaning to say in words. I hope everything is good. -nods-

-starts rocking back and forth on the couch, shoveling popcorn in her mouth, staring off into space- Good...good..



~*~*~ I love my wardies ~*~*~

hi. Im Danika. 14, sad, and alone. Dont really like bein touched.
Im Chloe. Im 6 years old and shy. I like to play and color.
I'm Clarissa. I'm 17 and a protector. I do what I need to for everyone else.


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Old 18-12-2010, 01:24 AM   #38289
PoisonedApple
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*hugs Ian*That's great news Ian!

*cuddles Kitty*
I have to head home...

*huggles and care packages left on the table for everyone*



I was lei'd in vets! ***** Proud Plumeria Sister!

"He said look inside your heart/ And you'll see stars/ Falling stars/ Look, deep into my eyes/ Don't look down/ Or you'll fall, he said/ Here, the sky goes on forever"


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Old 18-12-2010, 01:31 AM   #38290
PsychoKitty2010
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cant do this...cant watch...watch out erryone.. -gets up and throws things at the tv and unhooks the dvd player and throws it across the ward, then falls to the floor screaming and covering her ears with her eyes squeezed shut and rocks back and forth-



~*~*~ I love my wardies ~*~*~

hi. Im Danika. 14, sad, and alone. Dont really like bein touched.
Im Chloe. Im 6 years old and shy. I like to play and color.
I'm Clarissa. I'm 17 and a protector. I do what I need to for everyone else.


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Old 18-12-2010, 01:58 AM   #38291
PsychoKitty2010
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I sorry so sorry I think I scare people away...



~*~*~ I love my wardies ~*~*~

hi. Im Danika. 14, sad, and alone. Dont really like bein touched.
Im Chloe. Im 6 years old and shy. I like to play and color.
I'm Clarissa. I'm 17 and a protector. I do what I need to for everyone else.


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Old 18-12-2010, 03:46 AM   #38292
SoMuchMore
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*hugs kitty* you don't scare people away. lots of people from the UK are asleep, plus its friday night so some people might not be around. I'll be around for a little bit if you need to talk.

*hugs ian* i am so glad that the news is good!

*hugs crimson* you alright hun?



<3

forgiveness is the release of all hope for a better past
- buddy wakefield

I won't give up if you don't give up



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Old 18-12-2010, 03:48 AM   #38293
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*hugs laura :)* how is you <3



“The good things don’t always soften the bad, but vice-versa, the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.”
“Nobody important? Blimey, that’s amazing. Do you know, in nine hundred years of time and space I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important before.”
“If it’s time to go, remember what you’re leaving. Remember the best. My friends have always been the best of me.”

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Old 18-12-2010, 03:50 AM   #38294
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hi heather! *hugs* i am extremely sick actually.. which sucks as i kind of wanted to celebrate the end of finals.. but i have a fever of 102... oh i almost forgot to say, good luck with your final on monday!! i hope it goes well. how r u tonight?



<3

forgiveness is the release of all hope for a better past
- buddy wakefield

I won't give up if you don't give up



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Old 18-12-2010, 04:00 AM   #38295
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I okish. And thanks. Sorry youre ill :( feel better



“The good things don’t always soften the bad, but vice-versa, the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.”
“Nobody important? Blimey, that’s amazing. Do you know, in nine hundred years of time and space I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important before.”
“If it’s time to go, remember what you’re leaving. Remember the best. My friends have always been the best of me.”

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Old 18-12-2010, 04:01 AM   #38296
risenfromperdition
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I spies a felicia :)



“The good things don’t always soften the bad, but vice-versa, the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.”
“Nobody important? Blimey, that’s amazing. Do you know, in nine hundred years of time and space I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important before.”
“If it’s time to go, remember what you’re leaving. Remember the best. My friends have always been the best of me.”

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Old 18-12-2010, 04:03 AM   #38297
PsychoKitty2010
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I'm sorry...got really triggered by the movie A Beautiful Mind. I suggested my husband and I watch it together but I didn't think it was going to be that triggering. And by the time I realized it my husband was so into it that I couldn't turn it off and it triggered me even more.

-hugs laura and heather, if ok- sorry to hear that you are sick, laura, is there anything you can take? Non-asprin usually helps with my fevers when I get them.



~*~*~ I love my wardies ~*~*~

hi. Im Danika. 14, sad, and alone. Dont really like bein touched.
Im Chloe. Im 6 years old and shy. I like to play and color.
I'm Clarissa. I'm 17 and a protector. I do what I need to for everyone else.


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Old 18-12-2010, 04:08 AM   #38298
risenfromperdition
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sorry you got triggered =[



“The good things don’t always soften the bad, but vice-versa, the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.”
“Nobody important? Blimey, that’s amazing. Do you know, in nine hundred years of time and space I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important before.”
“If it’s time to go, remember what you’re leaving. Remember the best. My friends have always been the best of me.”

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Old 18-12-2010, 04:14 AM   #38299
SoMuchMore
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*hugs heather* glad that you are alright right now. I'm around if you need to talk.. on fb too.

*hugs kitty* i'm sorry the movie was triggering. Can you do anything for distraction, like watch a funny movie or something light? funny youtube videos? lol. or maybe just something relaxing?



<3

forgiveness is the release of all hope for a better past
- buddy wakefield

I won't give up if you don't give up



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Old 18-12-2010, 04:24 AM   #38300
PsychoKitty2010
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It's not your fault...I get triggered fairly easily. I saw many symptoms of my biological mom in that movie even though I havent met her but from what I have heard about her and the way she reacted when I was a baby. And I know I have the illness as well and I want kids so bad but I don't know.

It frustrates me to no end. I can't control myself anymore. The girl has gotten stronger. But I can't go talk to my doctor until January 3rd because he is through the school as well and I can't afford to go to a doctor elsewhere I don't have health insurance. So I have to wait. I don't even know if I will be able to continue school or even work a job. I have mentioned it to my counselor but she won't give me an answer...she just says "Well I'm glad you didn't just give up right away". WTF. Why can't I get results? WHY?!? Its driving me insane!



~*~*~ I love my wardies ~*~*~

hi. Im Danika. 14, sad, and alone. Dont really like bein touched.
Im Chloe. Im 6 years old and shy. I like to play and color.
I'm Clarissa. I'm 17 and a protector. I do what I need to for everyone else.


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