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Old 09-11-2017, 04:18 AM   #1
Joehose
 
Join Date: Nov 2017
Graphic - I need serious help

Hey... I didn't know how to go about this but I thought I'd give this forum a try
I'm a troubled young man (at 24 almost 25) I have been giving plenty of opportunities with my family and friends. I have worn out my resources for places to live and people to be around.

My father yesterday told me he doesn't love me anymore and we usually get through things but I feel like he's had it... simply has had it with my lack of trying it's not really anything I've done just simply he's fed up with me not moving forward in life. He said he doesn't really want me around anymore. I don't live in the house with him and the family (him, his mom, etc..) I live in a travel trailer on the family property and the property consists of 10 acres.

It hasn't been that bad for me but now that everything is going away I now realize just how good I had it.

I've been through the court system and he's tried to get me to do the right thing for so long and I feel like shit about not doing the right things for not just me but everyone who believes in me.

Long story short... I need advice on how I'm going to move past this.
And the immediate problems are I'm facing potential homelessness or even getting locked up again. And I really don't want any of that I don't even want to be in this shitty trailer anymore.

I feel like I should move out but I have limited funds and am living off SSI (social security) for like 700$... and I know I've been a worker most my life but there's some mental issues with me too that doesn't allow me to do well with people - I do however like being around people. My mom doesn't want me around and none of my family is even an option to live with right now.

Usually my father is more than good to me - i mean after all he gave me a place to live and tried getting me out of the legal system. But now he's beyond mad and it's almost like he's possessed I know it sounds weird. But, it's just not like him and I'm positive it's my fault.

I have been feeling somewhat imaginary suicidal lately and I don't know if I should use that to get into an institution or to just lay down and accept whatever trouble comes my way. I just really need some advice on the whole thing.

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Old 09-11-2017, 06:44 PM   #2
stuckin2009
 
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Hey there, my first question for you is can you clarify "imaginary suicidal"... Secondly, is it possible for you to get maybe a general labor job? Possibly in a warehouse or somewhere that you can be around people, but your job doesn't necessarily depend on your customer service skills? That would be my advice, to look into something like that. Then maybe your dad will see that you are trying and you won't be put out immediately. However, if you are feeling suicidal and concerned about your safety and mental health, maybe going inpatient in an institution would be a good thing for you.

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Old 10-11-2017, 12:36 AM   #3
Joehose
 
Join Date: Nov 2017
Thanks for reply

Quote:
Originally Posted by stuckin2009 View Post
Hey there, my first question for you is can you clarify "imaginary suicidal"... Secondly, is it possible for you to get maybe a general labor job? Possibly in a warehouse or somewhere that you can be around people, but your job doesn't necessarily depend on your customer service skills? That would be my advice, to look into something like that. Then maybe your dad will see that you are trying and you won't be put out immediately. However, if you are feeling suicidal and concerned about your safety and mental health, maybe going inpatient in an institution would be a good thing for you.

I've been to an inpatient unit before. And they are the most help I've gotten rather than jail. However, in this area the County isn't set up for a permanent mental health place and program to go to.

I do like the idea of showing him that I care. I've tried explaining things to him and that didn't seem to do much. Although your idea of getting a job or go to school might work in showing him I'm actually trying. Right now it doesn't seem that way at all.

I'm trying to brainstorm a few places I could go and do things rather than just sit around the house... I've heard church - however I don't want to bring my "demons" so to say in the house of god. I can't think of anything else consistent and to be around people that'll actually give me a chance. I could try church as a desperate measure, I suppose.

Any input is much appreciated man, thanks.

/edit Oh and to answer your question imaginary suicidal is like picturing yourself doing it 'cause you want to die. But not actually going through with it.

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Old 11-11-2017, 02:15 AM   #4
Juella
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I think you could really benefit from some serious professional support. Are there any options you can look into? Maybe, you can consider some sort of a program outside of the area where you live, if that's possible.

I completely agree with the advice you've got above about taking some action to show your dad that you are really trying. I understand how upsetting and frustrating it is to try to explain why you're acting a certain way and what you're going through and not feel heard or understood. Sometimes you just need to take action to prove yourself, before people actually begin to listen. It sucks in a way, but it might change things. I think if you really get a job it will change your dad's opinion on you, because right now he is probably convinced you just don't care, which is a possible reason why he is so mad all the time. But it's ultimately up to you.

Other than getting a job, do you have any hobbies? Maybe, there is some kind of a free/charity-based class or hobby group or something that you would be interested in attending? If that's not your cup of tea, maybe just taking walks once in a while and having some time to yourself will help with your feelings? Church can be good for some people, but that's a very personal choice, so it's up to you.

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