Positive Post - was triggered... but didn't cut
today i was triggered when somebody accidentally bumped into my back. if you know me at all, you know that i don't like to be touched in what i call my "beefcakes" (fat rolls between my waist and underarms) because that's where a person had touched me previously.
but i didn't cut.
first off, i didn't have anything to cut with, and second, i was sitting next to my surrogate brother (long story), and his birthday is tomorrow. i would have been so mad at myself if i A) cut myself at school, B) right before my friend's birthday C) and had to explain why i did it to him (he's 12)
anyway, that's what stopped me from cutting at school. tonight what stopped me is i texted CTL (the crisis text line, text "go" to 741741) and the woman i talked to was very nice. she gave me a few coping skills, such as creativity (not focusing on my feelings, just random creativity), venting, and soothing. she asked me what i DIDN'T like about cutting, and i told her that i hated pretty much everything about it, and she told me to remember those things. i felt a lot better after our conversation. i feel about a 8/10 right now, whereas before i was a 2/10
anyway, long story short, i'd recommend ctl to all of you :)