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Old 20-11-2007, 07:55 PM   #1
Curly
 
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SIing problem?

So when would you say you stop having an SIing problem? Is it as soon as you start to give up? When you haven't done it for a certain amount of time? Does still thinking about it mean you still have a problem with it?
Just some things i've been wondering about today



When one door of happiness closes another one opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.


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Old 20-11-2007, 08:59 PM   #2
klo_flo
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Hey Curly,

They are interesting questions and I guess like any such questions are all down to personal interpretation. For example, the say once you are an alcoholic you are always an alcoholic, but people control their urges by choosing not to drink. It can take a lot of will power, but ultimately it is down to them - and I think similar things about self-harm sometimes. We unlocked a door to a coping mechanism that we can always walk through [because isn't not longer locked] but we can choose not to walk through it again.

With regards to does thinking about it still mean you have a problem, I wouldn't say a problem as such.. .and I would say that walking through that door again would be where you really start having issues. However, if you are thinking about it all the time, the chances are that there are some bigger things going on in your life that might be worth addressing. I think it will alwyas be something that can pop into your mind [as I'm sure it does with alcoholics] but these urges get easier to control and start happening less.

You asked when does recovery start? I think a lot of recovery is about being the frame of mind to work hard through this, whether that includes slip ups or not. Me personally I would start counting the days, or the hours, or the mins, from the last time I self-harmed.

Have you decided you want to give up or were you just thinking?

Chloe xx



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Old 21-11-2007, 06:08 PM   #3
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I think it's very subjective - and at least for me, it isn't really related to how long I've been self-harm free or anything like that, it's more about a state of mind, how you feel about it.

I don't think thinking about it necessarily means that it's still a problem, but it depends how much it affects you. I mean, when I was not self-harming, but I was still thinking about it all the time and every day was a struggle, then I would have said that yes, it was still a problem for me. Even though I wasn't actually doing it, it was still a big part of my life. Now, though, the last time I self-harmed was actually less than nine months ago, but because I rarely think about it and even then I don't feel like I 'have' to do anything about it, I wouldn't say that it's a problem. If that makes sense.

Hope you're alright.
xo

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Old 01-12-2007, 12:28 AM   #4
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Hmm… I think someone stops having a problem with SI after you can deal with the urges in a healthy way. I think it also depends on time also. I think it would take more time for a person to be in the clear if they SI’ed for a long amount of time versus someone who did it for a shorter amount of time.

I don’t think just because you think about it means you still have a problem. Its like if you ever tested positive for something like TB and were ‘cured’, you would still test positive the rest of your life, since it has the potential to come back but is currently dormant. Just because it was a part of your past doesn’t mean it will be a part of your future. People tend to remember and reflect back on their past. As long as you’ve come to terms with it I think you are past it.

If you are trying to quit I would suggest to not focus on reaching the moment where you are ‘past’ it. I’m not sure such a time can be defined; I think it just happens over time.

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Old 01-12-2007, 01:35 AM   #5
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It's up to your own interpretation.

I personally think that you no longer have the problem if you're not having to contantly think about it anymore. :)

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