Please, help. I think I'm developing an ED.
In spite of having a vast array of mental health issues, I've never really struggled with food as much as I do lately, and now I'm confused and don't really know what to do.
I'm bigger than I've ever been, which is something I sort of can cope with, if not for the fact that I kept gaining until I nearly completely stopped eating. I am currently on the very verge of getting overweight, and I gained a lot of weight in less that a year. The main reason is probably because I suffered brain damage and my mobility significantly decreased.
Lately, I am unable to keep anything remotely like a healthy diet. As soon as I begin to think about calories or nutritional values, I panic and I just can't eat anything at all. To make matters worse, I've always got really sick when I'm anxious, so if I do force myself to eat, most of the time I just can't keep it down. The thing that bothers me is that it doesn't have the best effect on my mental health. My psych suggested that I just should eat healthy food and I will lose weight, but a) whenever I think of food in terms of heathy/unhealthy, I panic, all the food seems scary and I can't eat and b) I can't afford a healthy diet, I live in a place with a harsh climate where fruit and veggies are pretty darn expensive and I am really, really broke. I lie to people (including doctors) that I'm on a diet, when in fact my diet comes down to barely eating anything. I don't know what to do. On one hand, I don't want to make myself really unwell. On the other hand, I am afraid of becoming very overweight, and even obese. After all, I can't excercise, the most physically challenging thing I can do is walking with the help of walking aids.
Can someone give me a bit of advice on how to deal with it?
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