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Old 01-12-2020, 03:11 PM   #1
The Worst Witch
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Scotland
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Ideas of what to do when I don't feel safe

My counsellor and I are currently working on ways I can feel safe in my own home due to a situation with my neighbour. Basically, he's a heroin addict and the noise he creates when he can't get anything and also his constant begging for food, gas, electric, whatever (basically he uses any excuse to get money so he can go and get some heroin) is really stressing me out and having a negative impact on all aspects of my life, particularly uni and my relationships with people. One of the reasons my friend and I are constantly arguing is because of him, the stress makes me shut down in every sense of the word and she finds it difficult to cope with that as I still need to shower, go to uni, get my coursework done and do things around the house. The one thing that particularly stresses her out is when I go non-verbal, i.e. can't talk. She is understanding about this, but when it is over a prolonged period of time I understand why it's difficult to cope with, especially when friendship is a two-way street and she needs my support too.

I came up with a little list of my own as part of 'therapy homework' on what I need in order to feel safe, but I'm having issues with the 'what to do when I don't feel safe' bit. Any ideas welcome!

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Old 01-12-2020, 05:14 PM   #2
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Godric's Hollow

i have some potential suggestions re the not talking thing since that is a fairly large issue for me if that would be useful? not what you are asking though. i am really sorry you are struggling with your neighbor.

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Old 02-12-2020, 02:02 AM   #3
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Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: North America

Some things I do are increase sensory inputs that I find calming or reassuring. I like specific scents (mostly outdoorsy ones like fir and similar) so sometimes I'll light a candle or carry a bottle of essential oils so I can kind of ground myself in something that reminds me of calm and safety. I also sometimes will put on an audiobook of something that is one of my safe, repetitive books, or read it if I can focus, since the familiar stories can be a reassuring thing for me. Sometimes I'll watch something as well but other times that makes it worse, or sometimes I'll play a game that's not particularly high stress. I'm not sure if any of these are useful but figured I'd throw them out there at least

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