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Old 18-01-2021, 04:20 PM   #1
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Join Date: Jan 2014
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I don't even know what I am asking for here...

Hey... so I'm not sure this is in the right place or what I am asking so if you don't know how to reply don't worry.

I have copied and pasted something I put in another thread just to help with ease of telling what is going on. I have however hidden it because it is an essay. I have also edited some of the story out for ease of this thread.

The following content has been hidden - Reason : Essay
Originally Posted by Iamcatbug View Post
There is TLDR version at the end.

Basically I am now off sick for a week because of my Area Manager. Lets call him Bob.

On Friday it snowed heavily where I work. I'd driven to work in my car that morning but as the snowfall got heavier, upon being allowed to leave work early due to said snow and arriving to see my car under 6 inches of snow and no way for me to get my car out without potentially crashing it, I decided that for my own safety I would leave my car near work overnight and get the train home.

This caused a problem as I was supposed to be working at another shop on sat, which required me to drive there as there is no public transport between my home and this workplace. Therefore I thought it would be sensible of me to go back to work, ring Bob and tell him that I felt unsafe driving and was leaving my car where it was which meant I couldn't get to the other shop.

Now the thing is, Bob was working in an area that had received snow that had already melted. It was still snowing where I was. He was not happy that I was refusing to drive and told me to get my car home or else. (Did not know at this point that it was illegal to make someone drive in their car if they feel unsafe.)

So Cat, being Cat and not liking confrontation, went back to her car and got her car so far out of the car park before it got too slippy and I couldn't move it any more. Had to call out the AA. They helped me get my car moving and I managed to get out of the car park and on my way home.

This is where the main issue happens. Because lockdown means less traffic, it means the grit on the roads isn't as effective as usual, so the road out to the bypass is still dangerous to drive on. I was driving slowly, but going down a hill. As I was coming to a stop due to a traffic light being red, I skidded on some ice and into the back of the car in front of me. Luckily it was a 1mph impact.

Anyway, got home, was ok, until I went to bed and realised how much worse it could have been. This led to me being up all night having panic attacks and me realising if I had said nothing to work/hadn't been going to another shop, this wouldn't have been a problem.

By the time it came for me to set off to the other shop I realised I wasn't in a fit state to drive. Especially as I knew the further north I went to work the worse the snow was going to be. So I rang the shop I was supposed to be in and told them I wouldn't be coming in. Turns out they were already not expecting me because of the weather!

Anyway, at the same time I consulted 111 because I knew that the amount of panic attacks I was having can be a precurser to a full blown crisis and I wanted to avoid that. They suggested getting in touch with my GP on Monday and to self certify for a week while I get on top of my mental health.

Rang my boss at work to explain all this, and who was at work, but Bob. She put Bob on and basically he was more concerned about me being at work than the fact I was saying I was self certifying to prevent myself from having to take more time off in the long run by ignoring my mental health in the past. He basically told me to contact my manager on Sunday and that was it. I just agreed and let him go because I'd had enough of him at this point.

Ended up ringing head office and asking to speak to Betty- the boss above him, who has also known me since I was 15.

She contacted me and I told her all of the above and she said Bob was in the wrong, he should have listened to me and that she would speak to him about how he deals with staff with known past MH issues that are asking for support to prevent a MH cirsis. She also told me to take the whole of next week and to keep in contact with my manager about it.

TLDR version: Was made to drive my car in bad weather which has led to a MH issue.

Anyway... last Thursday I realised things were not getting better, but were in fact getting worse so I made the decision to ask my GP for medication (a big thing for me to admit too) and they suggested I take another week off as they could tell that things were not great for me, to give my body time to get used to my medication etc.

Work did not seem 100% happy that I am taking another week off. But I am planning to be back in Feb after my week off, even though I am low key dreading it. Not because of my manager, more Bob.

Uni work is also suffering I have a 2 week extension plus another week on top of that they have given us all due to the lockdown. I can't ask for anymore time but I can apparently apply for extenuating circumstances if I want. And I think I may have to do this.

Uni are very aware of the issues going on at the moment because I contacted them and explained the situation to them. They listed options to me for what steps I could take.

The problem I have is that I feel guilty that uni is taking a hit again. I think in my entire academic career to date I have only ever handed 2 things in on time without my MH being a problem. And I just don't know how to deal with this at all.

I'm just trying to function as a person and it just feels like all my life I get things on an even keel and then it all goes wrong and I'm sick of it!

So yeah. Make of that what you will.

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Old 18-01-2021, 05:46 PM   #2
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Join Date: Jun 2007
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I'm unsure what to say at the moment but I'm glad you are taking the extra time off work. It sounds like you're trying to do the right things for your health. Sometimes health has to come first. Uni and/or work can't always be our top priority. It does suck, but accommodations do exist for a reason and there's no shame in needing to use them.

Please do not give me virtual hugs unless you are only using the hug function on threads. Thanks.

You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.

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Old Yesterday, 11:18 AM   #3
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Thanks Camden.

Think that is where the issue of guilt is coming from. I often get the feeling from my manager and area manager that they always expect me to put work first and they seem to find it hard to understand that I actually want to have a life outside of work. Don’t get me wrong I don’t mind helping out from time to time. But it often feels like they expect me to bend over backwards and put work first. They oddly don’t expect this of other staff I work with.

I think once this pandemic is over I will be looking for another job. The past few weeks have just shown that this job probably isn’t good for me.

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