Scared of poisoning

[Pi.R^2]

Sounds like you've been trying really hard with the self-soothing then! Is there anything anyone else (family, friend, professional) could do that they aren't currently doing that you think might help?

What is normally the consequence of you stopping your meds?

[tamobhuuta]

I've ended up in hospital, so possibly not the best plan! But I don't think they're doing anything so...

[tamobhuuta]

I have taken some meds from the stash my mum is keeping safe. I feel guilty but also excited.

[Auror.]

Taken as in just like taken them out or taken as in uh... consumed? Unsure of how to word that because unsure which you mean. Can you tell your mum? You made a compromise with her, and it sounds like what you did might break your part of the agreement.

Why would stopping your meds be different now and result in a different outcome than it has before?

[tamobhuuta]

Taken as in out of the stash and into my room.

I'm just frustrated that my regular meds aren't helpful.

[Auror.]

I would maybe suggest that if stopping them usually means you end up in hospital, they are at least helping some, maybe just not as much as you notice or would like and think they should? Can you talk to your psychiatrist?

I still think you should tell your mum that you have meds in your room too. Is that possible?

[tamobhuuta]

A said he will get me a psych appointment to come up with a meds plan.
Mum knows but she doesn't know how many I have.

[tamobhuuta]

Now I have more tablets I am even more tempted to take them.

[tamobhuuta]

Given I want to die at this point, why don't I just let myself be poisoned?

[tamobhuuta]

Because of the above I am going to try to not have food tasted.

[tamobhuuta]

I gave mum my stash of meds.

[nonperson]

Well done , Tamo. That was a brave decision.

[tamobhuuta]

Eating normally isn't as scarey as I was expecting.

[Pomegranate]

Well done for challenging the fear. Is there anywhere in your room
Or anything you can put this to remind you if it becomes more difficult?

[tamobhuuta]

That's a good idea, thanks.

[tamobhuuta]

On the telly yesterday they were talking about Targeted Individuals. I googled it but wondered if anyone else had heard about it.

[Pi.R^2]

I've only heard about it from Doctors which I'm guessing is what you're referring to? How did that storyline seem to you in terms of illness/belief etc?

[tamobhuuta]

Yes, it was on Doctors. It increased my belief in the cameras and the implant.

[Pi.R^2]

Hmm, so to you it didn't seem like he was mentally ill?

[tamobhuuta]

At first I did but as the episode went on it seemed more and more like my experience, and more and more real.