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Old Yesterday, 05:54 PM   #1
Join Date: Apr 2020
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Shouldn't be forced to like family members or confide in them for the sake of family

Does anyone else believe that you shouldn't be forced to like everyone or confide in everyone who are family members? I've heard some people say to me that family is family and no matter what, you should always confide in them and trust them no matter what. I don't think this is true. I treat family the same way I would treat anyone else. If they are trust worthy, I am going to treat them with more respect. If they aren't trustworthy then I will keep my distance.

Also I am the kind of person that doesn't feel comfortable confiding in family members. I am more comfortable confiding in friends about stuff. I think family members have the potential to be extremely toxic, perhaps more toxic than friends because it is perceived that you should have unconditional trust and love towards your family, which makes it easier for them to get away from stuff.

I don't think they should always be trusted. Yes, I've been burned by many people in the past who I thought were real friends, but there are even more times where family members have been even more toxic and they get away with it because they are family and should always be forgiven. I don't tell them anything personal unless it is absolutely necessary, like a required trip to the hospital or something.

Are you more comfortable confiding in friends or other people outside of your family? I think trust has to be earned, even with family members. Same thing goes with meeting new family members, usually extended members. Some people just start telling a family member they barely know their personal stuff just because they are family. I don't do that. Not comfortable with that. Do you keep personal stuff, including feelings and bad things that happen, private and away from your family members? I hate it when my family finds out personal stuff. Just because they are family doesn't mean they need to know. None of their business. They can be so judgmental and dismissive.

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