It's getting worse. The other world are trying to figure out what to do with me. But they're doing it quietly behind the black curtain. I feel like I haven't spoken to anyone from the CMHT regularly enough. I am lonely. There are huge spaces to get lost in. Looking in front of me is my living room and there are no people here, no kind people who understand me in my whole house. Then I walk out side and no one talks to me and I go back to my empty house. There is a huge pull towards suicide. But you know me, I never get it right. I am not fully visible. There is no peace.