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Old 21-11-2008, 01:30 AM   #1
louise85
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Triggering (Suicide) - Who am I?

I'm finding everything really strange. I can't make sense of who I am. I can't make sense of how I feel.

Good things that happen can make me happy very quickly. To the point where others find me annoying...but at the same time my mood can lower just as quickly...to the point where I feel like there's no fucking point to anything. Why can't there be a safe place, somewhere in between?

I would just like to be able to not feel anything.

It's frustrating.

Every day, I find myself thinking about death. Would it be a release? Shall I jump in front of that train, or shall I wait another day? And I keep deciding to wait. I'm not sure why. Perhaps that's not the way I want to die. Perhaps it's just because of my inability to make decisions.

In an ideal world, I'd just go to sleep one night and not wake up.

I'm so confused...



Somewhere along I played it wrong fell into a world so far from home



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Old 21-11-2008, 01:50 AM   #2
ChocolateOrange
 
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Don't throw youself in front of a train - in splits you into pieces...do you really want your family to have to see you like that? Not to mention the people that will have to clean up your body parts.

Try calling a helpline - even if it is just to scream and hang up....
Sorry, that's the best advice I can give right now, i'm not in a good place myself right now.
Xx



Man it takes a silly girl
to lie about the dreams she has.
But lord, it takes a lonely girl to wish
that she had never dreamt at all.



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Old 21-11-2008, 01:56 AM   #3
louise85
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ChocolateOrange View Post
Don't throw youself in front of a train - in splits you into pieces...do you really want your family to have to see you like that? Not to mention the people that will have to clean up your body parts.
See this is the thing that really bothers me. I'd just really like to slip away quietly...no fuss.

Also, I'm not suicidal currently. I don't think. I just have random thoughts of suicide. Not really a big drama. It's not like, I've decided how, where and when. It just crosses my mind a lot. I'm no danger to myself at the moment. Trust me. I just wanted to get some random thoughts off my chest.



Somewhere along I played it wrong fell into a world so far from home



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Old 21-11-2008, 05:40 AM   #4
Horizon
 
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Sorry you are feeling like this. Mood swings are a pain, I feel you there. It's good that you are able to write out your thoughts here rather than carry them out. I hope you are able to stay safe.

Take care.

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Old 21-11-2008, 09:28 AM   #5
idontwantnomorescars
 
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i hope you stay safe hun. the mood swings i know are annoying maybe speak to a doctor about them.

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