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Old 07-05-2020, 09:52 PM   #1
Voldemort
 
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Join Date: Mar 2005
How to maintain the balance

So I’m ‘recovered’ from anorexia and previously BED (never diagnosed) and this lockdown has me in a tailspin.

For the first 5/6 weeks I just ate junk. Take aways (why are they even open?!) chocolate, sweets, etc etc. I was just constantly grazing through the day. I don’t know if it was boredom or depression or simply a loss as to what else to do. Anyway I gained a bit of weight and now my clothes don’t really fit.

For the past week and a bit I’ve been trying really, really hard to get back on track. I’ve been following my meal plan and trying light exercise. I haven’t done any the past few days but I plan on getting out tomorrow. I had decent excuses for yesterday and the day before but today time just got away from me.

The problem I’m having is walking that fine line between healthy and restriction. There have been a couple of days where I haven’t eaten enough but for the most part I think I’m doing okay at the moment - it’s the thoughts that are getting me at the moment. It’s so tempting to skip stages. I’m eating little and often rather than 3 meals and whilst that makes it easier as I’m not putting too much in at one time it’s also kinda freaking me out because it feels like I’m just stuffing my face.

I don’t know. How do I keep this up but healthily when my brain is screaming at me to just lose the weight as fast as possible?

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Old 09-05-2020, 02:52 AM   #2
Auror.
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I am unsure suggestion wise, but I am struggling with similar things as well. Do you have anyone you can talk to or get support from?



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Old 09-05-2020, 10:32 PM   #3
Voldemort
 
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Sorry to hear you’re struggling too, Camden. My wife has been very supportive and my MH team have been in contact a bit more as my depression has flared but they don’t really know me yet so don’t know much about how this stuff affects me.

I weighed myself today and have lost nothing. Not even a fraction. It’s so demoralising and makes me really want to just restrict and have it fall off like usual. I don’t understand how this could have happened. I’d been so good and so motivated. I know logically that I can’t eat any less than I am or it will become restriction so it’s not what I’m eating. I’m wondering if I could be due my period. My last one was late but about 3 weeks ago now I think so I’m really hoping it’s that. The only time I ever wish for my period to arrive is when I’m trying to lose weight and haven’t lost. I guess we’ll see but for now I plan to keep doing what I’m doing and hope the results will start to show.

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