My boy and I both have mental health issues. We've been best friends for 5 years, in a relationship for 2 years, and living together for 1 year. Before him, I never had a relationship longer than 6 months. He's been the only one who has ever stuck around through one of my meltdowns.
The hardest part, I think, is dealing with the coupling of my anxiety disorder on top of his dissociative identity disorder. His alter is put off by how timid and frantic I get sometimes, which just distances us further. The best part, though, is being able to understand the hurdles we face and always having somebody to lean on.
I think it's very possible for people with mental health problems to have stable relationships, even people with BPD who, as part of the diagnostic criteria, are often considered as having turbulent relationships.
I've only been with my partner for two months, but we have been very close indeed for the past several years, and good friends for 10 years. I think ALL relationships have their ups and downs, and lots of stable, married people go through rough patches, so those times are not necessarily indicative of a problem - just as some stable relationships may need a time working through rocky patches in counselling. I think it's important to work at a relationship that matters to you.
That was slightly off-topic! What I'm saying is, yes, it's possible for people with mental health problems to have stable relationships. In the case of BPD, someone might have stable relationships with some people, and very tempestuous ones with other people.
I have been with my bf for over a year now and we have been living together for like 5 months. We yell get angry and everything mainly because of my mental health issues. At the end of the day though we love each other and we work at it because we care about each other. It is extremely hard but yes it is possible where we end up no-one knows but we are okay for now.
I've been with my husband for 9 years, married for 1.5 years.
He has been with me through everything. A lot of the relationship lasting is due to him, since I'm an absolute mess. But there are a lot of great things in our relationship despite my mental health problems. And I think we try and focus on that as much as we can.
I think it must be easier when at least one partner is fairly stable. If both people have serious issues I can imagine it falling apart fairly easily.
A lot of the time my boyfriend acts as a kind of "buffer". I can say what I feel and cry and shout and be a complete mess sometimes and I think it would be harder if he started getting upset or angry too. As it is he lets me get my feelings out and then picks me up again and gives me a hug.
I think it would be too exhausting for me to deal with someone elses issues as well as my own.
My boyf and I have been together for four years and living together for one. Things have been up and down but we've managed to stay together due to his patience and ability to pull me out of my lows and manic times. Since I have been diagnosed with BPD it has been easier in a way as my boyf has learnt new ways to help me and without him I really wouldn't have made it this far.
I think that it is possible to have amazing stable relationships but you have to deal with the guilt of everything you put your partner through.
Me and my ex were together for 2+ years. At that time we were both pretty f*cked up and the relationship broke down because she got better and I didn't so it works either way I think. I guess you just have to both either be recovered or not or whatever, I don't know. Just my two cents.
The world is just illusion always trying to change me.
You will find wonder wherever you can, and spread joy whenever you are able.
I felt emotions of gentleness and pleasure, that had long appeared dead, divide within me. - Frankenstein.
I think it can definitely work! I have been in a relationship for 3 years this June and we have been living together a year on the 1st May. We both have BPD and both stuggle with SH/destructive behaviours but I think patience and understanding and the will to want to be together and have a future with one another has kept the relationship going. I completely agree with Miiikeee though that if the problems feed off one another the relationship can break down so very quickly.
I guess it takes a **** lot of effort to maintain, but if you want it to work, you'll make it happen [both parties I mean].
I know people however who have had relationships with severe mental health problems and it just doesn't work, and I believe the issues can make it near impossible for some people if they are in the wrong place or are unsure of what they want.
A thousand mile journey starts with the first step
Join Date: Oct 2009
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I am in recovery and have just got into a new relationship. He doesn't know about my mental health difficulties, but his personality and the way he is keeps me grounded and stops my mind from running away with itself. He doesn't know it, but he has a very positive influence on me.