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Old 28-11-2012, 04:17 AM   #1
null_n_void
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How the hell can you be lonely in London?

Like the subject states, How the hell can you be lonely in London? I have an amazing mrs, I have two good jobs (admittedly, one doesn't pay very well, if at all), and a few friends.

So why in the frak do I feel so damn lonely? I know I can't be the only one, I just can't be... I get that it is a big place and can be a very alienating place sometimes, but something about it doesn't feel right... I live around 5 or 10 minutes away from Camden Market, one of the busiest and most vibrant places in the area but whenever I walk through the crowds, It feels like i'm totally alone.

I can be on the bus or the tube and I know the whole thing about londoners not talking to each other (although, I come from Newcastle where it's pretty much the same thing) but this feels so much more intense than that.

I'm hanging on by a VERY thin thread... just got this feeling that the thread is getting thinner and thinner...

and it's going to snap



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Old 28-11-2012, 10:33 AM   #2
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I dont have any advice apart from that I feel the same and I also live in London. it feels like the loneliest place in the world most of the time!x




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But there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself.
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Old 28-11-2012, 10:40 AM   #3
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What Liv said. I lived in London last year and hated it so much I had to move.

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Old 28-11-2012, 10:40 AM   #4
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I think that anywhere can be lonely if you're not getting the kind of human interaction that you need. Being surrounded by people doesn't mean you don't need more personal interaction. Do you have any hobbies or interests that you could find a group to join? Or if you have any spare time, volunteer somewhere for an hour or two? Or what about your work colleagues - maybe you could invite someone to go out for a drink/coffee?




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Old 28-11-2012, 11:13 AM   #5
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I moved to London last year. I have some friends but I also feel lonely most of the time. Everywhere you go there are couples and friends talking about what they are going to do and how many parties they go to. I think it's easy to feel alone when London is full of people. I found going out with the friends I do have helps so I don't isolate myself more. Also when people at work organise evenings out I try to go just so I can try to build up more friendships.

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Old 28-11-2012, 12:06 PM   #6
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Big cities can be so lonely. No-one says hello, or even makes eye contact with each other if they can avoid it. Where I come from everyone will nod and say hello, or at least acknowledge the other person when they're passing someone, say, on an empty street.

Once I was in Camden tube station and a lady fell over, people were pretty much walking ON TOP of her, which was damned disgraceful IMO. I stopped to pick her up and she was almost like, "who are you, why are you helping me?!" which I find very disappointing.

Perhaps there's a social club scene you could become involved in? I know there's a couple in Nottingham, where they arrange events for people to go to and socialise. I think clubs and interest groups are usually the nest way forward to combat lonliness, especially in a city. Would there be anything you'd like to try?

I hope you find something to make you happier soon! Loneliness really sucks, feel free to PM anytime!

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Old 28-11-2012, 12:13 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by null_n_void View Post
Like the subject states, How the hell can you be lonely in London? I have an amazing mrs, I have two good jobs (admittedly, one doesn't pay very well, if at all), and a few friends.

I must admit, when I started reading the title to the thread and the above paragraph, I mistakenly thought that this thread was going to be about how other people needed to 'go out more' or something along those lines.

However I was mistaken. I feel the same way.

When I was at Uni I was a very sociable person. Having returned to London (Albeit the outskirts) I feel very isolated. The pressures of work have damaged my psyche and made it difficult for me to enjoy social occasions.

I have a strong group of friends, but since uni we have drifted apart. I have also lost touch with many of my old pre-uni friends, including many from RYL.

But, hey, at least ou have a 'mrs'! If only I was in your position, I would feel much better :D



So many faces I have seen, so many places not yet been.
So many people I have met, so many names not to forget.
Such beautiful people in their right, laughing, dancing through the night.
So many faces I have seen, the futures so bright it can't be seen.
Is any of this even real?



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Old 28-11-2012, 12:18 PM   #8
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Mike, I live down the road from you, we should go for a drink sometime!x




There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you.
But there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself.
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Old 28-11-2012, 01:16 PM   #9
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its easy to feel lonely in a city.. everyone keeps themselves to themselves.. its hard to find the sense of community that you may get from smaller areas, and with so many people, youre really just another face in the crowd.

you are at an advantage because there are so many people with such a diverse range of interests im sure you would be able to find a group or a club that does stuff youre interested in.... or... find a club night dedicated to the kind of music you like and go down and have drunken chats with people (thats one great thing about smoking areas)





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Old 28-11-2012, 03:44 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by squirrelspit View Post
its easy to feel lonely in a city.. everyone keeps themselves to themselves.. its hard to find the sense of community
and thats the thing, it doesn't exist anymore



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Old 28-11-2012, 05:51 PM   #11
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i think a lot of it depends where you live in London. I always found up north a bit.. cityish.. but down where i live its like a lot of small villages.

We know all our neighbours and like, the guys in the shops and bakeries and stuff.





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Old 28-11-2012, 06:20 PM   #12
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I think there in an anonymity about London. But I definitely agree with everyone else about possibly volunteering, or inviting work colleges out. I think sometimes in cities because lots of people do have their group of friends or whatever the people that don't forget that other people might not necessarily either.

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Old 28-11-2012, 07:09 PM   #13
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The whole idea of inviting work colleges out might be a problem. Both my jobs involve working from home. I'm a Carer and a Video Editor



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Old 30-11-2012, 01:11 AM   #14
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I come from the outskirts of Birmingham where everybody knows everybody and you can always have a chat with somebody. Having recently moved to Uxbridge (Greater London), I share you're pain. London is a lonely place.

Maybe go to Hyde Park with the Mrs and enjoy the social atmosphere there? (about as sociable as london seems to get anyway)

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Old 01-12-2012, 08:50 PM   #15
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I know how it feels to feel lonely in a big city, I think part of it is what people have said about big cities lacking a sense of community, and I think it's also comparable to being the "new kid in school," if that makes sense. Where there is a sense of community, it seems like everyone knows each other but none of them know you, and that can be a very lonely feeling indeed.

I'm also wondering if maybe you have some problem or issue on your mind that you feel you can't talk to your wife and friends about? Something that you feel you're struggling with all by yourself?

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Old 03-12-2012, 12:33 AM   #16
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Yup, I live in Los Angeles, and even among crowds at theme parks or conventions, I can manage to feel completely alone. Takes a bit of talent, that.

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Old 03-12-2012, 10:42 AM   #17
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There is an old saying that goes something like You can be lonely in a sea of a thousand people.
It is true. (In my view!) You can be surrounded by people but still feel lonely.



If you hear hoofbeats, think horses not zebras!

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