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Old 01-08-2020, 05:11 AM   #1
Rae Noctem
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Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: England
I am currently:
Back here again.

I truly hate myself right now.

After pushing through all the **** since I was 14, now 29, I find myself stupidly and foolishly back where I started.

Spent time avoiding him, knew I'd fall hard. But he wouldn't give up. Despite me being UK and him USA. We spent too many months talking daily. I trust him more than people who can stand next to me.

But now, he has disappeared. I'm stuck between worry and hurt.

Problem is, I never realised how much I started to rely on him. And now I find myself depressed, alone, and in pain. I hate that I feel so empty now. Feel so weak.

Do not go out your way to gain a scar!

But a scar is a sign of a fighter! You are still standing!

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Old 02-08-2020, 09:24 PM   #2
I always have a choice
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Safety Cupboard
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Sorry to hear that your friend/boyfriend(?) has disappeared, the not-knowing and sudden absence is so difficult. Do you have any way of at least finding out if he is OK (contact details of a friend/family member, has he 'seen' your messages etc?).

I don't believe that we are ever truly back where we started though. Maybe you're finding yourself in a similar predicament to when you were 14, but you've got 15 years of knowledge and experience to help you fight back against this empty feeling.

We may not see eye to eye, but we can respect each other's opinions and find the truth in them.
Perhaps in those honest conversations, instead of demonising each other,
we might see each other as imperfect humans, doing our best. ~ Jodi Picoult

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