Total relapse of bulimia/ednos

[TEAPARTY]

I'm being discharged from inpatient, I'm not there for my ED but for other mental illness and the impact the ED had on my mood. My eating went from fasting/bingeing/purging to a regular three meals a day, very controlled etc and I've probably maintained my current weight for a few months now. The past two weeks I've only had to be I hospital in the day giving me complete reign over my diet, which has lead to me fasting/bingeing/purging and restricting again. I can't eat an apple without knowing its calorie content, nor can I just cook a meal without weighing out vegetables even (and don't forget the ketchup)! The fear of unknown calories has become so great that I take my own food everywhere including to friends houses if i'm staying there or my own carrots to snack on in hospital during the day. Problem is, I've now discovered exercise as a coping mechanism and when I'm already restricting I'm aware it's not healthy to find this as a coping mechanism. Things are spiralling so much, I've not returned to laxatives nor do I intend to but I guess I'm worried that the lbs are falling off so easily and I feel helpless and stuck.

[Buttons.]

I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling so much with your ED thoughts/behaviours, I know that can be a horrible place to be in. It might be worth looking at what purpose these behaviours serve for you. Much as it doesn't feel like it, EDs are never truly about weight, they are one of many destructive coping mechanisms we turn to when things are too difficult to cope with, so it might be helpful for you to try and identify what exactly it is that you are trying to stare/binge/purge away.

[Alati-Moelda]

I'm really sorry to hear your ED is taking hold again...is anything stressing you out lately? I agree with buttons, you should look at what events are making you feel the need to go all in with ED. Hope you feel better soon!

[TEAPARTY]

Well I guess moving from inpatient to a new house hasn't helped but I can't see anything else particularly stressful going on in my life. I hope the community team can help more than IP could with it, but I know that the motivation etc has to come from me. I guess if I stop weighing everything then I wouldn't know what to eat at all :/
Thanks for your replies x

[angeldevil123]

Hey
Sorry to you hear you ed is causing you a lot of problems just take things easy if you can try and distract yourself from how you are feeling etc if that helps

Sent from my Radar C110e using Board Express

[raspberry_swirl]

I hope things are going a bit better now. I only just found this thread
x

[OceanBlues]

i'm so sorry *huuuuuugs* maybe you should be honest with your team and speak to them about what's going on.