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Old 01-01-2008, 04:41 AM   #1
Spacegirlnz
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Ugh. Not good.

I really want to cut right now. So bad. But I know I'll hate myself if I do. But it doesn't stop me wanting too.

I feel pretty shitty. I think it is partly because I'm kinda worried. Last night I got really drunk... and the lady who I babysit for (she's basically like a sister) I gave her a letter that I was not going to give her. But that's how drunk I was. I really hope she forgets about it. I want her to read it, but at the same time I really don't.

And then I think I'm also worried about her daughter. She's 9 and she's convinced she's fat. Her brother keeps telling her that she is, and even if he's joking she takes it seriously cause she has Asperger's. And last night she was crying because of it. I felt so bad. And I worry about her so much. And I dunno. I just want to curl up and sleep.

I dunno.



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Old 01-01-2008, 06:45 AM   #2
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just want to offer love and *snuggles*
im sorry i dont have more.
much love
xxxxxxxxx





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Old 02-01-2008, 06:55 AM   #3
Spacegirlnz
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Thanks =]

She read the letter. I hugged her and she whispered in my ear "Thank you for the letter" I don't know what she thought, or what. Hopefully I'll see her before she goes away on Friday.



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Old 04-01-2008, 05:06 AM   #4
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Hey Spacegirl - I'm glad that you seemed to get a positive response about the letter than you gave this person. I know you said that you didnt want to give it to her and only did so because you were drunk, but you must have written the letter for a reason and had something to say ....?

As for this 9 year old girl worrying that she is fat .... at least if you are there baby-sitting this girl, you have the opportunity to talk to her about what she's feeling, and offer her a more realistic and positive viewpoint.

Kids are influenced by many different people as they are growing up - they receive different messages from parents, siblings, teachers, friends, relatives etc ..... lots and lots of input over the 18 years that they develop into adults.

Maybe you can help to give this girl some positive messages about herself and her developing self image, to counteract the negative messages that she's picking up from her brother. You could help to tip the balance towards a more positive outlook for this girl and her future.

I hope you managed to get through the days without cutting, and that you will soon have some feedback on your letter.

Take care

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Old 04-01-2008, 08:27 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by typsee View Post
Hey Spacegirl - I'm glad that you seemed to get a positive response about the letter than you gave this person. I know you said that you didnt want to give it to her and only did so because you were drunk, but you must have written the letter for a reason and had something to say ....?

As for this 9 year old girl worrying that she is fat .... at least if you are there baby-sitting this girl, you have the opportunity to talk to her about what she's feeling, and offer her a more realistic and positive viewpoint.

Kids are influenced by many different people as they are growing up - they receive different messages from parents, siblings, teachers, friends, relatives etc ..... lots and lots of input over the 18 years that they develop into adults.

Maybe you can help to give this girl some positive messages about herself and her developing self image, to counteract the negative messages that she's picking up from her brother. You could help to tip the balance towards a more positive outlook for this girl and her future.

I hope you managed to get through the days without cutting, and that you will soon have some feedback on your letter.

Take care
=] thanks.

I did write the letter for a reason, and wanted to tell her stuff, but I wrote it 2 months ago and didn't think I'd actually give it to her. I've seen her, and got hugs since, but the kids have been around so I don't think she wanted to say anything.

I've had conversations with the girl. I told here that I can't convince her she's not fat, it's something she has to realise on her own, but I told her I was teased as well, and that I know how hurtful it can be. I also told her that whenever she needs to talk she can talk to me, and if she needs to get away from her brothers, or they're being mean or whatever she can come hang out with me, or even just phone me to vent. I don't know what else I can do, but I still worry. And I know she will cause she came around yesterday, and we just went to the park and talked. It was nice.



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Old 04-01-2008, 01:40 PM   #6
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Hey, sounds like you are doing the right thing by talking to the girl. i dont think you can do anymore than be a listening ear and a friend for her. do try not to worry but i know how hard it is.

Why not try phoning if you want to talk about her response to your letter?

*big hugs*



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Old 04-01-2008, 09:27 PM   #7
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It's very hard not to worry. And I'm a worrier... I mostly worry cause she's going through what I went through when I was 9... and now look at me. *sigh* I dunno.

I have to wait till they get back from holiday to talk to her. That's in about 10 days, and I'm going away in the mean time. I hope I forget about it. =]


*big hugs back* And thanks.



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Old 04-01-2008, 09:36 PM   #8
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hii.
well done in doing all you can to help her feel better.
perhaps giving the letter to the woman is a good thing.
i hope you get things sorted though and dont worry yourself too much.
take care x





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Old 04-01-2008, 10:27 PM   #9
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Wow you must be very proud of yourself for giving her the letter you have been sittiing on for 2 months, so way to go.

Whatever was in the letter was very important to you and that matters. You know she has read the letter and taken it all in.

Im sure when you two are alone again she will bring it up. You have been great to her daughter. To be there for her through her brother teasing her.

I wish you luck in the future x Keep us updated

Jade xxx




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Old 05-01-2008, 12:19 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 88sehlz View Post
hii.
well done in doing all you can to help her feel better.
perhaps giving the letter to the woman is a good thing.
i hope you get things sorted though and dont worry yourself too much.
take care x
thanks.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tears of Solitude View Post
Wow you must be very proud of yourself for giving her the letter you have been sittiing on for 2 months, so way to go.

Whatever was in the letter was very important to you and that matters. You know she has read the letter and taken it all in.

Im sure when you two are alone again she will bring it up. You have been great to her daughter. To be there for her through her brother teasing her.

I wish you luck in the future x Keep us updated

Jade xxx
I guess I'm proud. I never thought I'd give it to her. But now that my initial shock/paranoia/whatever has subsided, I'm feeling okay about it. Still weird, but more okay. I got a text for her today while i was at the mall and I just bounced.

Thanks

*hugs*



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Old 05-01-2008, 05:50 PM   #11
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Good for you for reaching out and helping this girl.

I so understand what you went through and what she's going through. Because I didn't look like a cute teen like a cheerleader I thought I was fat and ugly. Last time I looked at my high school yearbook pictures I thought "what was she so worried about? She's beautiful"

Now that I'm in my 40's i'm more comfortable in my body. My weight is at an all time high and I feel that. But I can look at myself in a mirror and see good teeth, nice lips, georgous hair. My legs are big but there is wonderful strength there. I have short nails because of what I do and I don't moisturise my hands so I don't get oils on the fabrics or yarns I work with. My hands aren't glamorous but they're not ugly and they're functional too. I get to use them to make clothes so people feel more comfortable about themselves.

Beautiful is as beautiful does.

Could you and the nine year old talk about the parts of your bodies that you like best? How about parts of your character that are good.

Major hugs to you both!



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In forgiving others, we are not exonerating them. They may not deserve exoneration. Rather, in forgiving others we are giving up our anger over the fact that what happened is not what "should" have happened or that our life is not the way it "should" have been.

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Old 06-01-2008, 02:36 AM   #12
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That's such a good idea. I really need to do that with her.

Thanks. And big hugs back.



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