My communication sucks atm, but basically I’m extremely overwhelmed and anxious. I don’t even know what about, it was my mums birthday 4 days ago but we had a nice day, even though she couldn’t be with us as she is dead. I don’t know what else to say.
“The only way that we can live is if we grow. The only way we can grow is if we change. The only way we can change is if we learn. The only way we can learn is if we are exposed. And the only way that we are exposed is if we throw ourselves into the open.”
Hello, is there anything that would make it feel more comfortable to go outside? Maybe getting wrapped up? Remember that you will be back home soon and having milk will be so worth it.
I did manage to go to the shop to get milk. I also got some chocolate to cheer myself up, which I will share with my flatmate. Overall it was an ok trip, although town was busy as I knew it would be.
Glad you got out for a bit to get milk and chocolate. If you need to take time to try to rest and can safely put off the responsibilities for a while, it might be worth it? Or if you can't entirely, is it possible to plan rest time in between?
Please do not give me virtual hugs unless you are only using the hug function on threads. Thanks.
You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.
My sister suggested just concentrating on 3 responsibilities instead of the usual 5 yesterday. I have been doing that today and have so far bought milk, done some school work and made spaghetti bolognaise for tea, with flatmates help. I just need to get through until 10.30 (so 3 hours away) until I can do the last responsibility of feeding the cats and having a shower and then I can go to bed.
I hope that is helpful. If not, is there a way to make it less than three if that still feels like too much? I know it might not be possible, but I hope you can get some sleep.
Please do not give me virtual hugs unless you are only using the hug function on threads. Thanks.
You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.
I don’t know. A lot of the responsibilities are expected of me and V and I tend to argue if they aren’t done. I have explained a bit to her about whats going on, but she was at a bit of a loss as to what to suggest because everything is basically still locked down here and I can’t do the things that would normally help.
Thank you, I hope I manage to sleep too. Last night was a write off.
I don't know if it is an option, but is having someone like your dad or your friend come over to help do the things if you cannot for now? Then it wouldn't put them on V, and they would still be able to get done. If not, is there a different way to approach things with V? Or would it help to talk about what the things are here, and maybe we can try to come up with some alternatives?
I'm sorry things are so hard.
Please do not give me virtual hugs unless you are only using the hug function on threads. Thanks.
You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.
V did offer to help me with my room when her back is feeling better, and she’s always happy to help me look after the cats if I’ve had to leave really early for placement or classes so I might ask her again but atm I like doing that myself. The only thing that overwhelms me about it atm is when they scratch my door when I’m trying to do stuff, I left my door open last night for that reason and it was slightly better (except for J coming in and waking me up at half 6 by licking my hand so I would feed him).
T could help me wuth the food shop, her fiance usually drives me to the shop in the car once a week but I think this weekend that might be overwhelming given how busy it normally is on a Sunday. I’ll see what she says.
Today I’m still really anxious. I’ve planned to do my room (with the option to leave it a few days if I get overwhelmed so V can help me), some school work (which is a must but I like doing that usually) and a trip to the shop for something for tea since we both forgot to take something out the freezer last night. Then the usual jobs of having a shower and feeding the boys.
I could go food shopping on a different day if I didn’t go with T. Her fiance works during the week, the only days off he has are Saturday amd Sunday but he might be willing to take us after work, so long as L didn’t come and therefore miss his bedtime (he’s only just turned 2). I’ll ask, she might say no but all I can do us ask right?
I didn’t manage to do any of my plans for today. I did however talk to V about some stuff, it was helpful. The boys have settled a bit since yesterday, they’re all currently sleeping (soot is sleeping on my feet as I type). I do love them but you’re right, sometimes they can be hard work.
She said she was going to speak to D, her fiance so we’ll see what he says. She did say he’d probably only be able to pick me up so that he was around for L’s bedtime to help her but that it shouldn’t be a problem.
Today is slightly better. I need to look for paint today, Soot has destroyed one side of my wardrobe while its been sat in its packaging by scratching the plastic. Also need to tidy my room, V is going to help me though.
