*TRIGGER WARNING* Please, Help Me.

[hannn]

So, where do I start? There's so much to say, It's overwhelming. I'll keep it simple because I don't think I can take anything long anymore. I'm sat at my desk right now, little to no light surrounds me; just the merely dim desk lamp and the light from the monitor that sits on the desk that I am currently sat at (as I said). The light is showing the shine of the wet substance on my desk : the blood. I have just cut for the first time in a while. I am filled with emotions; more so than before I got the urge to harm myself. Guilt, sadness and anger are taking over my body as I type and probably as you read: it's constant. My tears are also dancing along the desk dripping alongside the blood from my wrist. The cuts are the deepest they have ever been; more painful too. Although I have so many emotions running through my body I feel empty inside; dead in the eyes within an emotionless face. Tears drop down my still face. I feel the warmth of my tears against my cold, stiff cheeks. I can't see the way out of this rut that I'm in, I live with the things that trigger me. How can I possibly escape? I want to end this deep pool of pain that I drown in daily. Take me away, please. Take me away. My movements are slow, I can't think straight. I feel intoxicated, the effect of alcohol. I now realise, I'm intoxicated with misery. I'm lost. I'm lost in the dark, unable to find the light. Help me, I beg. Before It's too late. Please, help.

[Pi.R^2]

Hey, it sounds like you are having an awfully difficult time at the moment and I hope you've got some medical help for your cuts as it sounds like you probably needed some.

What are the things that trigger you that you feel like you cannot escape from? Can you tell us a bit more about what things you've tried already in terms of self help/distractions or professional help?

I know it feels incredibly dark right now but this isn't forever. Life gets better than this.