What kind of church do you all go to? Just interested. My church is Anglican, but it's quite relaxed. We have three services on a Sunday - a liturgical service, a family service that's informal, and a young adults service in the evening. There's also a Wednesday afternoon service, which is a service focussed on healing and restoration. :)
How are you guys feeling about Halloween? Are your churches doing anything? We are doing a "night of 1100 lights" in the park opposite church, as a kind of alternative to all of the dark stuff. I'm really looking forward to it. There's going to be fairy lights in all of the trees, live music, activity tents, a bouncy castle, fireworks, face painting, food and drink. Church does it every year and we usually get a few hundred people coming. It's a really lovely community event.
I'm an intern at church this year and I'm helping to plan one of the carol services - the contemporary one. We're decorating the church like Whoville from the Grinch, as the theme for Christmas this year is The Grinch. It's a lovely story. Have you ever seen it?
“Our defeats are softened and our victories are sweetened because we did it together.” - Toby Ziegler.
I am still troubled by thoughts of flying and also of being poisoned but otherwise ok.
I go to a roman catholic church. we have mass every day Tuesday to Friday, 3 for a sunday. before mass there is morning prayer and rosary one day a week. on a Saturday there's confessions and Eucharistic adoration. there are also polish, Italian and indian masses.
I don't really have any feelings on Halloween, it's never been a huge deal in my family. your church's event sounds really good.
I've never seen the Grinch but I hope you have fun organising the carol service.
Those sound like difficult thoughts. Have you spoken to anyone in your care team about them? I think that Fred has some sound advice. Does your church have anyone that does prayer ministry? I'm not really sure how it works in the Catholic church.
It's great that your church does services in different languages. That's really inclusive. :) It sounds like it's a busy church, with lots going on - that's nice. Do you find going helpful?
Thank you. :) It's a lot to organise! Thankfully I am not leading it. My friend is and I think she is a bit stressed with it! She has some great ideas though. :)
“Our defeats are softened and our victories are sweetened because we did it together.” - Toby Ziegler.
Re: Spiritual attack, it's definitely important to read the Bible, probably Matthew 4, where Jesus is in the desert and then 'the tempter' comes to try and seduce him away from God's word, but Jesus goes back to scripture, Psalms, etc. Which all good Jews would have known at the time, but not necessarily known the meaning or significance of the passages. Jesus then tells Satan to sod off, and then he begins his ministry. If we are to be like Jesus, then we have to tell Satan to sod off before we can really begin our work, Jesus did do some work before that, and he was baptised before he went into the desert.
But He was tempted and told Satan to go away. He probably then would have prayed.
So perhaps, when faced with spiritual attack, we should do as Jesus did, go to scripture, Matthew 4 is a good place to start. Then pray for strength and patience and for the courage to be like Jesus and fight with words.
Re: Halloween
I'm not really sure how I feel about this. I know lots of churches are anti, but I know lots of Christians that are very anti lots of things but don't mind halloween (particularly Americans). I think for Americans, it's a very cultural thing. Here it's a much newer concept, and has only really been popular recently because of media and films, etc.
I like the idea of having a party that's more the opposite.
Re: 'today'
I was not good that day, and I overdosed in the evening :/ I then took more tablets in the morning. I told my friend who called mum who called an ambulance. I was rather unwell and had to stay in overnight. Got home Wednesday afternoon.
I was an intern at a church a couple of years ago Aubergine. It was horrible. I hope you're having a better time than I did.
I'm glad you've spoken to your CPN about the urge to 'fly'. I don't think Roman Catholics tend to do prayer ministry. The church is much more into mass, and ritual. Which has its place. I think you may have a prayer request book or system in your church Tamobhuuta, where they then read out the prayers at different services, or in private prayer meetings. Perhaps you could write down an anonymous prayer? There's a radio station called UCB and they have a prayer requests phone line, and you could call them and they will pray with you, or you can email them and they will pray for you x
How often do you go to mass? Do you go every time it's on?
My church has a service on Sunday mornings, and they do other things Sunday evenings sometimes, and have a few midweek groups, etc. Most people are in a home group or small group, I go to the young adults group and they're all so lovely! It's on a wednesday night, and in the church building. Someone will do food (yay) and someone will do a talk. Numbers vary from about 6 to 12. We have maybe 18 members, but not often have that many coming. I think if that many were to come, I wouldn't go because it would be way too busy for me.
They're a lovely group and now all know about most of my MH stuff, including the overdoses. They're always happy to pray, etc. I still don't really feel part of the group but I don't think I ever will. I don't talk so much about my head while I'm there, but I post stuff on the facebook group.
I don't really do prayer 'in person' because of certain past experiences :/ so I prefer to be able to post things on the fb page and ask people to pray. Much easier.
Hope you're all well.
It's a foggy day here today. I'm tired and feel sick (pretty much constantly feel sick at the moment. Will try and tell my GP tomorrow. Not pregnant).
I'm going to try and ask my GP for something to help me sleep. We've kind of discussed this before but I can never manage to say all my thoughts, but I've got it written down this time so hopefully I can just hand it to her to read and then she can ask any other questions once she's read it and hopefully she won't have too many questions.
Think that's about it for now. Just rambling about rubbish now so I'll spare your eyes any more of my words :P
*hugs* take care guys
Death is one moment, and life is so many of them.
Don't look forward to the day you stop suffering, because when it comes you'll know you're dead.
~ Tennessee Williams
I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad,
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had.
I'm actually a girl. My nickname was given by a friend and stuck ;)
^ I really hope it goes well with your CPN tomorrow.
I've never posted in here before I don't think, sorry to barge in!
I've been struggling an awful lot lately, and I've been too scared to pray or to set foot in a church. I'm struggling to untangle how much of what I believe is true and how much is mental health related. I'm trying to believe there's a way back from this but I'm not sure. I feel like I must be an awful, awful person.
hi Serendipity, welcome! I hope you can work your way through this. is there someone at church you can talk things through with? you're not an awful person.
Hey,
You're definitely not an awful person x
I found that going to small churchey things helped me to get back into church, I did the Alpha course about a year ago at a completely new church, and then started going to the church a couple of months into the Alpha course. I am now going to the young adults group weekly, but only occasionally go to church as the numbers of people make me anxious.
A couple of weeks ago, my GP made me do a self-referral to the 'Wellbeing Service' which is like the service for mild-moderate MH problems. I've previously been under the Youth Team (full MH people).
I ODd last week and was in hospital and told the MH nurse there that I had done the self-referral and she said that was good, but I've now had a letter from the Wellbeing Service saying 'The Wellbeing Service is not able to provide the level of support that you require at this time, so we have forwarded your details to the Youth Service with a request that they respond to your self referral, as they are better able to meet your needs.'
I agreed to do the self referral to the Wellbeing Service because apparently they could offer me counselling, CBT or 'peer support'. My GP was confident that they'd help me, and so was the MH nurse at the hospital.
I have so far been discharged by the Youth Service 3 times. Because they really only want to offer me mindfulness. I've been over and over the mindfulness conversation so many times, and I've considered it and tried it and there is NO WAY I'm doing that again. Ever. Last time I saw the Youth Team, my GP had done an emergency crisis team referral, I got a letter from someone 2 weeks later (somewhat more than the 4 hours that's meant to take). The letter offered me an appointment 2 weeks after that, so I got a friend to come with me (she's a mental health nurse) and she left the appointment as frustrated as me. I don't want to have anything to do with them any more. They said at the appointment I could go to a charity called MAP (they stopped seeing me a couple of years ago because I was 'too high a risk'), they also suggested a charity that helps people into work. I am so far off being able to work. I think they'd just turn me away. Plus that would mean actually going into the city. It costs me about £15 with driving to the city, and paying for parking, etc... just to go to an appointment. And because I'm usually then so tired I can't tie the appointment in with going into the city or meeting a friend.
I am thinking I'm going to ask my GP to call the Wellbeing team, and explain the situation to them. If they won't change their minds and at least give me a face to face assessment, then I'll ask her to cancel the referral as I won't go to an appointment with them, and won't be able to phone them to cancel it anyway, so no point in them doing that.
Everyone keeps telling me I should go back to the Youth Service but the last 3 times I have seen them, I took an OD when I got home. Because of the stress of it all. (Not major ODs just little ones). I think if I have to go back again I'll be ODing big time.
They keep saying I'm 'not ready to get better' or 'refuse to engage' I can't engage because I worry they're talking about me. Last time I started opening up to someone, she ended the appointment early and said 'you need to go home and consider if you're really ready to get better'.
I don't understand any of it, and now things have got harder again.
All my friends just keep saying to go back to the Youth Service but it will just cause me more problems. I can't engage, not because I choose not to but because I can't. I won't do mindfulness because of the origins and because when I did it, I got recurring thoughts 'I'd sell my soul for an hour in Heaven' which the MH people don't understand how bad that really is. Especially when it's the only thing you think when you're going to sleep and the first thing you think when you wake up, or are not 100% occupying your mind. It's horrible. I've managed to stop it mostly now, but I'm not going to risk it coming back.
Outside of the Youth Service, I've spoken to lots of people who say that mindfulness isn't for everyone, yet they seem to think that it's the only thing people should be doing and it's a cure-all.
I dunno... just ranting a bit. I was having an ok day. My GP gave me something to help me sleep yesterday so I got an ok night. Now I just want to go shopping and buy a load of tablets :/ because of the letter talking about the Youth Service. :'(
I really want to give up.
Death is one moment, and life is so many of them.
Don't look forward to the day you stop suffering, because when it comes you'll know you're dead.
~ Tennessee Williams
I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad,
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had.
I'm actually a girl. My nickname was given by a friend and stuck ;)
I've found I get the voice when I am praying in silence. what can I do about this? today I cut my prayer time short because of it. is it acceptable to fall back on verbal prayers?
Most definitely ok to fall back on verbal prayers.
It's always good to listen for God's voice, but we can do that through reading the Bible.
You could try having worship music on while you pray (Matt Redman, Chris Tomlin, David Crowder Band, there's loads. I can give you more artists if you'd like. Plenty are available on a certain video sharing website).
How much time do you normally 'allocate' for prayer?
Perhaps you could say 'I will try just listening to God and if that doesn't work I will then fill the time by reading aloud from the Bible' (Psalms are good for that kind of thing). You could just read the same passage over and over.
There's nothing wrong with that x
I don't really pray at the moment. The last time I did was a few days ago when I was trying to sleep but my head wouldn't shut up so I was just like 'please God make it go away. You say that this isn't what's meant for us so why the **** do I always feel like this?'
(Nowt wrong with swearing at God. Except calling Him names. I think He's big enough to take it on the chin and get over it.)
Definitely nothing wrong with just praying aloud or reading prayers because you can't manage to pray 'properly'.
Something that we used to do with kids was TeaSPoon prayers. T-S-P Thankyou, Sorry, Please. So you thank God for something, apologise for something, and ask for something. It works quite well to encourage children to not just ask for something when they're praying (especially as the please is the last part).
Hope everyone is well x
Much love <3
Death is one moment, and life is so many of them.
Don't look forward to the day you stop suffering, because when it comes you'll know you're dead.
~ Tennessee Williams
I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad,
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had.
I'm actually a girl. My nickname was given by a friend and stuck ;)
thank you Fred. I will give those things a go. I normally pray in silence for an hour on top of morning, evening and night prayer from the divine office
"I wish to be she whose life is prayer" - I love that.
How are you all doing?
TeaSPoon prayers is cute! I was always taught ACTS - adoration, contrition, thanksgiving, supplication. TeaSPoon is more fun!
How do you work out what is real/faith and what is mental health related? I feel very lost.
"I know you're sad, so I won't tell you to have a good day. Instead, I advise you to simply have a day.
Stay alive, feed yourself well, wear comfortable clothes, and don't give up on yourself just yet.
It'll get better. Until then, have a day."
Hello. I never knew this thread existed. Or maybe I did but was atheist in my old RYL days. Now I've reverted back to Catholicism again.
Does anyone's faith make them upset? In the last few months it's caused some upset/many tears due to my conflict of being bisexual (with female partner) and Catholic. Some things said by a priest and parishioners have really upset me to the point where I feel sad and my life is worthless. I've joined the Lesbian Gay Christian Movement which has brought a bit of comfort.
Anyway, I hope everyone is doing well this morning.
How do you work out what is real/faith and what is mental health related? I feel very lost.
I don't know. I have my doubts too, like, what is faith and what is religiosity? I suppose we can check our beliefs against the bible and church teaching.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lostdoll
Hello. I never knew this thread existed. Or maybe I did but was atheist in my old RYL days. Now I've reverted back to Catholicism again.
Does anyone's faith make them upset? In the last few months it's caused some upset/many tears due to my conflict of being bisexual (with female partner) and Catholic. Some things said by a priest and parishioners have really upset me to the point where I feel sad and my life is worthless. I've joined the Lesbian Gay Christian Movement which has brought a bit of comfort.
Anyway, I hope everyone is doing well this morning.
I am Catholic too :) I guess it must be really hard to be Catholic and bisexual. i'm sorry your parish made you feel bad.
I can imagine that being hard too, lostdoll. I'm glad you've been able to find a bit of comfort.
Thank you tamobhuuta (I think I know your name but I don't want to be wrong!) I guess that's true. It's hard sometimes. How are you doing?
I haven't been able to go into a church (any church) for quite a while due to some difficult beliefs and being terrified and guilt. I would really, really love to be able to go back for Christmas, I don't want to miss out on that, but I feel anxious about it.
"I know you're sad, so I won't tell you to have a good day. Instead, I advise you to simply have a day.
Stay alive, feed yourself well, wear comfortable clothes, and don't give up on yourself just yet.
It'll get better. Until then, have a day."
All you Catholics. I feel all left out as an Anglican. :P
I really hope you're able to go to church over Christmas, Hannah. You do not need to feel guilty. Jesus took away our guilt when he died for us. Our vicar has a "no fishing" idea. Jesus took our sin, and if we have repented, then we are forgiven - we are not allowed to fish about in the ocean for past sin. It doesn't work like that. We are completely and utterly forgiven - that is the whole point. The whole, wonderful point.
I stopped doing the internship at church. It was too much. I feel much better for not having to cope with all that it involved. I feel like I can enjoy church again. I haven't been to church in a couple of weeks, because I have been too busy hiding. I'm helping out with the toddlers on Sunday though, so I really do have to go. We got to sing quite bouncy songs though and do craft activities, so it should be fun. :) Church is my safe place. Something about being on consecrated ground feels wonderfully comforting. Sometimes I struggle with the amount of people, as we are a busy church, but generally it's so comforting to be there. :)
“Our defeats are softened and our victories are sweetened because we did it together.” - Toby Ziegler.
