i agree em.. i see so many threads with people moaning about things such as 'im 14 and my mum wont me smoke or stay out untill midnight' and everybody is scared to say 'well duh.. youre ****ing 14'
i saw a thread a while ago where someone said that she was 15 and her mum made her go to bed on a school night at 10pm or something, and someone actually replied and said 'thats well out of order, its practically abuse' and no body but me, i think, said anything about it at all.
i think its things like that that are more damaging than 'stop being such a spoilt dick, realise youre still a child and learn to respect your parents.'
i sounded like Jeremy Kyle in that last sentence.. score!!
(this wasnt here when i wrote my message and im not sure how to add quotes to an already posted post)
yes thats another change ive felt i used to spend ages giving support but now i tend to stick to just two forums (abuse and bullying and mental health) because the rest seems to be dominated by petty posts or things that are repeated over and over and just make you want to slam your head against a wall.
I think its more the people have changed..
But yeah it has in some ways but that doesn't mean its a bad thing in a lot of ways I think it has changed for the better because it reaches more people and can help alot more people.
But yes I would say these days it does seem to try and bubble wrap everything a lot more which can be a bit frustrating at time buts thats life isn't itnothing stays the same forever and this place has to adapt to accomdate how many members there are and stuff
*nods*
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lou Lou
I think places like these will change. As more people join and other's leave it won't be the same place to some any more.
I think it's more noticable to those who have left and come back. To those who have stayed it probably happens so gradually that they don't really see the change.
People who have been here a long time are likely to have matured and either progressed in their recovery or have a different grasp on their illness, then along comes new members who are likely to be younger and possibly new to their illness. I think this can grate slightly on people.
Some people just don't like change or are more sensitive towards it, other people can grow with the change. I think it totally depends on the person.
Uh huh!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stellata
I've grown up emotionally. I've changed.
RYL has been one part of facilitating that change for me. Along with therapy, work, and so forth.
RYL has also changed. The community is more fluid, and there are more younger people joining.
I agree wit hthis too. Though it really bothers me when some older members say the reason ryl has changed is because of all the young people who are joining and it's all their fault that we have to censor stuff.
I've been a member since... just after ruin became recover. And i've seen a noticed a lot of change. But... it doesn't bother me. At all. I think RYL has changed and has become what the majority need. It's always fit me. Sure sometimes I post for support and don't get an answer... but how can you expect an answer? I have a doctor for that. This is a site run and supported by other people suffering. I honestly think if you post for support you should be happy with hugs and i'm thinking of you. You should never expect advice or an answer, you should rely on a professional for that.
Anywho... please don't attack me.
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
It's a place & it's changed, in answer to the question.
But whatevvvs.
"Be nice. Think happy thoughts. Champion silver linings. Love all things (not just cute things like babies and kittens) & when you do love - love like they do in power ballads (you know like on a cliff with the wind in your hair and your eyes shut, knowing you'll never know love like this). Watch out for dog poo. Smile at people - even grumpy ones. Remember anything is possible & whatever you do always try to look on the bright side."
Sure sometimes I post for support and don't get an answer... but how can you expect an answer? I have a doctor for that. This is a site run and supported by other people suffering. I honestly think if you post for support you should be happy with hugs and i'm thinking of you. You should never expect advice or an answer, you should rely on a professional for that.
QFT.
Also, i saw this mentioned above - the making a new board idea IS kinda just adding to the bubblewrappiness. i hadn't thought about that before, but i think it's true.
*WARNING - beware sensitive people* (that was ever so slightly sarcastic :P )
i think people should stop the complaining so much.
this is how i see it:
-RYL changes because
-the people on RYL have changed
-and we are part of the people on RYL
-therefore, we can change the atmosphere of RYL back into something that suits us better. simple as that.
as awesome as RYL is, it's not the end-all be-all of life. it shouldn't be a whole little world of escape.
Sure sometimes I post for support and don't get an answer... but how can you expect an answer? I have a doctor for that. This is a site run and supported by other people suffering. I honestly think if you post for support you should be happy with hugs and i'm thinking of you. You should never expect advice or an answer, you should rely on a professional for that.
but a lot of members don't.
alot of members rely on the other members as doctors & therapists & don't want to be told that they need to speak to a doctor or a therapist or professional.
some members here just want pity & to be agreed with, & it's just frustrating & so many people don't get the support because they can't give the honest truth.
I liked this site better as ruin, at least then you didn't have the notion and moral crusade of protectionism in every aspect; it was much more honest.
believe it or not some of us are trying to move this site forward, but with some of the mentalities of certain members that'll never happen.
things can change, but we need to work out, members are saying that we;re bubblewrapping, we need to find out how many members believe this, form there we can work out if it's a majority or minority vote.
then we can take steps to improve that, such as trying to arrange better support for people with the people well enough to give it.
surely the people that come to this site want to get help & want to get better, so we need to stop replying to support posts with hugs & aww poor you etc etc & encourage people to seek professional help, encourage people to give peoples ideas on how they can do this that & the other, ask questions.
& tell people that they can do it.
if someone posts saying i can't do this that or the other say that they can, because each one of us can do anything we put our minds together. put previous arguments out the way & those of us that want to better this place need to band together.
this place can be changed, & i believe people want to, but how many are really willing to try, it's all fair enough having the CT board etc etc & i don't know who these members are, so i'm not going to say anything against them or any of the work they do, but surely there has to be more progress than just throwing ideas around (although there could be a lot more going on behind the scenes).
& i think in reality, some members need to try a little harder & try to look on the positives & i'm going to shut up now i'm going on & on.
Sometimes I feel like a broken record saying over and over "We arent doctors...we cant diagnose...we cant suggest medications for you to try...you need to see a doctor."
People are using RYL in place of proper professional support and that's what really bugs me.
Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes but when you look back, everything is different…
you once called your brain a hard drive, well say hello to the virus.
There are a load of positives to this place, I can think of loads off the top of my head.
it's just people don't seem to want to look at that sometimes.
There are a load of positives to this place, I can think of loads off the top of my head.
it's just people don't seem to want to look at that sometimes.
exactly the positives of the site still outweigh the bad, so things have changed, become a little restrictive in places, not all change is bad.
the site has changed alot but mainly for the better its opened up to more people. it covers more areas. its alot more all encompassing (if thats the word) and i see that as a postive more than a negative personally
it can also be a good thing because it might help those people to help you.
Don't be fooled by my smooth skin. The deepest scars are the ones unseen.
Remember compliments you received, forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how..~ Baz Lurhman.
Letting it get to you - You know what that's called? Being alive. Best thing there is. Being alive right now that's all that counts. ~ Doctor Who "The Doctors Wife" 06.November.2011
I think opening up to more people is at least increasing the chance of helping more people. Obviously this forum is not going to help everyone, it just isn't possible. But by not expanding and not adjusting it is limiting the help it could provide.
Change is necessary and not everyone will agree with certain changes, but a lot of people will benefit from it and that can't be bad thing surely?
When I joined Ruin, I didn't join so I could be a part of some Mother Teresa, save the world, protect the children, type organization. I wanted to have genuine and open discussion on the aspects of self destruction when I felt alone in it. I don't disapprove of where RYL has been taken, it's just not what I had originally signed up for, and so when given the opportunity to choose between the two I'll pick Ruin any day. Given that, I don't really care if this place improves (to my liking, so I guess 'goes back' would be more appropriate) so it can continue on in whatever direction it wants if it fulfills the utilitarian desires of those implementing the changes.
I see your point em, and I by no means agree with sheltering people from reality, but there does have to be some degree of 'safety' within this envrionment.
I don't like the 'pussyfooting' aspect because sometimes people do need to hear the truth, however harsh it may seem at the time, but I also think that some things need to be censored to make this a more recovery based environment (tip sharing, numbers in the ED board and so on).
From what I have read, the old days of RYL were smaller and everyone knew one another but that just isn't the case anymore. I don't think that's the forum's fault at all, just that more people have found their way here. With more people comes more responsibility and that responsibilty needs to be met not only to protect the members but to protect RYL itself.
