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Old 11-04-2008, 01:56 PM   #1
Sugar and Spice
 
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Triggering (SI/Sexual Abuse) - It's a vicious cycle

I'm in such a difficult place. I was sexually assualted a lot a couple of years ago and had a lot of bad experiences concerning sex before then (including being groomed by a much older man for sex from the age of 13 and an addiction to cyber/phone sex). So, it will come as no surprise when I say that I have a fairly negative view of sex. It makes me feel dirty. It makes me want to harm.
On the other hand, I crave it. I crave the feeling. I crave the act. Sometimes all I want is to have sex. It doesn't always matter who with, just as long as I can have it.

Does this make any sense?






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Old 11-04-2008, 10:23 PM   #2
tracey
 
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Hi there, just wanted to say that I can go with the grooming, as I was groomed from about 12. I also see s-x as dirty and bad and it always makes me want to SI too. I went the other way though and don't want s-x full stop and hate it but sometimes have to cos I can't say no.
Hope this helps in some way, sorry I cant help more but feel free to pm me if you wanna chat,
take care and many huggs xxx

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Old 12-04-2008, 07:37 AM   #3
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It makes total sense.

Sex was probably the only closeness and affection you had....

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Old 13-04-2008, 10:04 AM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stellata View Post
Sex was probably the only closeness and affection you had....
You are right there.

It makes relationships incredibly difficult because if I deny my partner of it then I feel like a b*tch and feel unworthy of love. Yet, by having sex with them to minimise this I want to cut even more...






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Old 13-04-2008, 03:39 PM   #5
Anoniem
 
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I know how you feel.
I used to be addicted to phone sex and now i'm trying to stop watching porn.
Sometimes i feel so dirty after watching porn.



"Forgive me my nonsense, as i also forgive the nonsense of those that think they talk sense"

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