Triggering (SI/Sexual Abuse) - It's a vicious cycle
I'm in such a difficult place. I was sexually assualted a lot a couple of years ago and had a lot of bad experiences concerning sex before then (including being groomed by a much older man for sex from the age of 13 and an addiction to cyber/phone sex). So, it will come as no surprise when I say that I have a fairly negative view of sex. It makes me feel dirty. It makes me want to harm.
On the other hand, I crave it. I crave the feeling. I crave the act. Sometimes all I want is to have sex. It doesn't always matter who with, just as long as I can have it.
Does this make any sense?