Trying to recover.

lolamarie · 25-07-2012, 02:46 PM

I've struggled with self harm and my recovery for at least 9 years. I was in a 4 year relationship and my girlfriend was always there too help me through. But we recently broke up and without anyone to talk to about my daily urges i've relapsed and i'm just having a hard time stopping again. Ive tried distractions before but they almost always make me feel helpless and just generate more self hate. I relapsed about a month ago, i don't want to go through this again. I know the longer i let this go on the harder it will be to stop, but i'm having a hard time finding reasons to quit again.

Wonderland. · 25-07-2012, 05:23 PM

You have got reasons to quoit, maybe you m=need the back up off some professional support. You've gone so long you con do ut again, I beliebve you have it in you xxx

PM if you need to chat,
Ami XXX

Fitzwilliam · 25-07-2012, 08:19 PM

Maybe you need to find reasons to quit for yourself...and remind yourself why you want to. Remember do it for yourself, not for anyone else. (:
I always find that a good walk can help with the urges as after you feel exhausted and then just want to sleep. Also you get the adrenaline etc that you sometimes get with cutting.
Hope this helps in some way?

lolamarie · 25-07-2012, 09:56 PM

distractions just make me feel like more of a loser. Today i forced myself to take a nap hoping that wheni woke up the urges would be gone and they weren't. I'm just sick of being sick. I'm sick of having to wake up everday and fight this. I'm sick of it always being in the back of my head.I honestly want to recover... most days.

PassedExpectations · 26-07-2012, 01:40 AM

instead of trying to find distractions (which only postpone dealing with feelings/situations and the urges that they cause) you'd probably be better off finding and learning new coping skills, which actually let you experience the feeling in a safe way (feelings are NOT the enemy) and express it, or help make the situation better....

the sick of it feeling is something that i think that alot of us experience, i definitely have. what i've come to realize is that the choice i have is whether i fight or not. i fight, it is uncomfortable and hard at times, but i will feel better eventually. i don't fight, i spiral back down into feeling horrible constantly. neither option is all that appealing. but at least if i fight i'll have a better future instead of being stuck for even longer.