Going backwards

[Alilah]

I've been free for over 5 years and now I'm going backwards :( Urges seem to have been insane lately and I've slipped up twice in a week. Trying really really hard to not fall back into SI "properly" so to speak :(

It sucks and I'm so disappointed in myself :(

[nats life]

please don't be disappointed in yourself I know its hard I have slipped up myself recently but you have to pick yourself up and start again. you have got so far without it and you will continue to build yourself up its great you have been free for 5 years. if you ever need to talk please don't hesitate t pm me x

[FranticMind]

you shouldnt be disappointed in yourself hun, slip ups happen, you need to start distracting yourself and relaxing your body to fight these urges.

[Alilah]

I've been trying mindfulness to relax my body and stuff it just doesn't seem to be working and my attention span is terrible and I can't focus on anything properly.

I hate feeling urgy like this, it feels so unsafe :(

[kbeth]

That's really great that you have 5+ years free! Please don't be too hard on yourself. I slipped up too after several years free--it doesn't mean all your hard work doesn't matter or that you're back where you were 5 years ago. As they say, sometimes it's two steps forward and one step back. But I'm sorry to hear you're feeling so bad and unsafe right now :( Do you have someone you can talk to for support? Being with someone I care about helps me, maybe that could help you?

[Alilah]

I've been talking to my counsellor about it but we've been focusing on other things atm.
Just fed up of feeling so low right now and not being able to trust myself again. I've been keeping a mood diary and trying really hard to keep safe but just feel shitty :(