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Old 17-06-2009, 01:36 AM   #1
Fallen__Angel
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Triggering (SI) - What do I do??

Hi everyone First of all, i'd just like to mention that i'm new to this online discussion so not really too sure how it works .
... not even too sure where to start.
I was just thinking about when i began to sh -which was when I was 13, I'm now 18 - and it made me question whether I could live my life without it - i don't want to carry on like this forever -- but i can't see a way to escape.
I'm going through all these emotions in my head right now and there is no way to make them stop. I just want to cut or burn myself to make it go away.
I'm so alone in all of this - no one knows about it other than a v close friend - who hasn't mentioned it since I told her . So it's just me.
I don't know why I've written that .. maybe it hepls to get it out ...

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Old 17-06-2009, 01:42 AM   #2
xXLaylaXx
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hey hun, first off id like to say welcome to RYL! =) its nice to have u here... and yeah getting it out helps a lot of the time... but think about it.. will SHing really stop all the emotions in ur head or just numb them for a while and then theyll come back full force? u can private message me anytime my PM box is always open <3 if u want advice or just to talk or even distract urself go right on ahead

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HERE I STAND EMPTY HANDS WISHING MY WRISTS WERE BLEEDING
TO STOP THE PAIN FROM THE BEATING
AND THERE YOU STOOD HOLDING ME
WAITING FOR ME TO NOTICE BUT WHO ARE YOU
YOU ARE THE TRUTH OUT SCREAMING THESE LIES
YOU ARE THE TRUTH SAVING MY LIFE

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Old 17-06-2009, 01:48 AM   #3
Fallen__Angel
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ThankYou, !
I just see no other way when I think it's all i've ever really known and I know it won't make everything all go away but i just feel this need.
i keep saying to myself that i wont i wont but its always there in the back of my head even when I don't feel the need to sh.
I really have a feeling it will be like this forever..

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Old 17-06-2009, 02:30 AM   #4
Katiee
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Welcome to ryl! :]
I understand where you're coming from. I think you should talk to someone like a doctor or someone who could give you professional help. Maybe counselling might help you out? Sometimes finding out the exact cause of your self-harming can help to stop it and find other better ways of coping with your feelings. Have you thought about telling any of your family members, maybe if they knew they could support you? You're not alone, remember that. I'm here if you ever want to PM me. *hugs* xo.



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Old 17-06-2009, 05:34 AM   #5
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Hi, welcome!
I can relate to you, because I started when i was 13 too, I am almost 20 now. I am really struggling to find other ways to cope because SH is the only thing i have ever known since i have had serious things to cope with.
Good for you for posting, it is so hard to get all of that kind of stuff out of your head, but its good to talk everything out. I have got a counsellor now to help me learn new ways to cope and to help me talk out my problems, perhaps that could work for you too? Most schools have a counsellor.. and if they cant help, they can refer you to someone who can. Also, your GP would be a good place to go too.
I have hope that someday we will all be able to cope in a more healthy way and be happy with ourselves.
nice to meet you
xo



"They say time heals all wounds. I don't agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessons, but it is never gone." - Rose Kennedy

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Old 17-06-2009, 06:25 PM   #6
Fallen__Angel
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ah thanks for all your advice and support .
and when i was at school i was told i should go and see a counsellor - for different reasons - but did not see the point of it. I thought - youu're just a stranger to me, this is your job so it's not like you care, so i only went twice .
.and i did go to the doctors at some point last year because i was depressed but i just couldn't tell them about sh. they made me feel so stupid, like i had no reason to even be there and was just wasting their time so, again i never went back there either. i've recently moved out of home and was never close to my mum or any other members of my family and just feel like there's no one.
feel like i've tried everything!

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Old 17-06-2009, 09:04 PM   #7
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Welcome to RYL!

I can relate to you. I started to sh when I was 12 and I'm now 20. It took me until two years ago to seek professional help and it has turned my life around. About the doctors, don't give up hope of findiing a good one! They can be hard to find but there are great ones out there. It took me about 10 tries before I found the therapist that worked for me. It was well worth the time and effort. It sounds like you could benefit from seeing one. I definitely recommend trying to find a therapist.

While you are trying to build your support system, it's important to keep hope. Having hope that things will get better can help you get very far.

If you are looking for information on stopping self harm you might want to check out the advice section which you can find at the top of the page.



Every time you get up and get back in the race,
One more small piece of you starts
To fall into place

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Old 17-06-2009, 09:13 PM   #8
Fallen__Angel
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I just get so scared when i think about having to tell anyone about SH. i think - why should they know, it's my business, not anyone elses, how can they possibly understand??

I literally cannot get the words out and it annoys me so much that i'm like that, because i do want help - much as i'm cynical about how I could benefit from it, I know I need it.

I told a friend about SH a few weeks ago through a letter, as she noticed I was withdrawn and not my 'usual self' so decided it might be easier to write to me.
But now ... we have never spoke about it and that hurts so much because I know she knows, but it seems like she doesn't care as she has never said anything.

Do you think maybe writing to a doctor would be better?? And giving the letter at an appointment. Or would they just think I was a freak??

I wish I could show how I felt ='/



Take me away, A secret place, A sweet escape. Take me away

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Old 17-06-2009, 09:39 PM   #9
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When I first told a doctor about my SH I wrote it down and gave it to them because I couldn't say it out loud. With time it does get easier to talk about but I think it's a great idea to write it down and give it to the doctor if you don't think you can say it. Keep in mind that most doctors have had some experience with SH so most of them will act appropriately.

They should know so they can help you. I too once felt like it wasnt anyones business but I think that's because we are almost possessive of our SH because it's been our secret for so long that we find it unatural for anyone else to know.

Try not to be hard on yourself. These things are hard to talk about, especially at first. For the first few months of therapy I would come in with things I had written and let her read it but eventually I didn't need to do that anymore and was able to say what I needed to.



Every time you get up and get back in the race,
One more small piece of you starts
To fall into place

Ideas on[Stopping SI] | [Supporters] | [PM me] anytime


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Old 17-06-2009, 09:45 PM   #10
Fallen__Angel
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I think I might do that , I need to look for a new doctor and hopefully that will help .. if not - at least I can say i didn't give up just yet.
Thank you for all your help!



Take me away, A secret place, A sweet escape. Take me away

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