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Old 09-03-2012, 04:40 PM   #1
Wellingtons
 
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Unsure whether to accept bed in hospital

Since January, I've been given a bed on the local mother & baby psych unit. This week my CPN reassured me that the bed is there for me if I want it. Next week my CPN and psych are coming out to visit me, to 'assess' me (i.e. try convince me to go on the ward).

I'm just not sure what to do.


It's for post natal depression/bipolar depression.

Reasons for
Might help
Support with the baby (he's 5 months old and waking every 2-3 hours in the night still)
Dunno.

Reasons against
His dad can't see him as much
Difficult with our dog, need to try sort out a walker or something?
CBA having to talk to the nurses and make conversation and deal with people. CBA with the twice weekly meetings with the Doctors. CBA talking in general.

I'm really isolated atm, I never ever leave the house, never ever go anywhere without my fiance at least. I just can't decide if it's worth it. But then I know how rare the offer of a bed on an NHS hospital is, so maybe I should accept the offer whilst I still can? I'm only under this team till the baby turns 1, then it's back into the CMHT, and I'd never go onto a general psych ward. And I couldn't with the baby anyway.


Urgh, I just can't decide what to do. Any advice???!!

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Old 09-03-2012, 05:00 PM   #2
NoAngel
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if it was me i'd take it. from my own experience leaving my illnesses has made them progressively worse. atleast if you went now it would be on your own terms and you'd have your baby with you.

i know what its like to not be bothered with talking to people but the staff will understand this. im sure your fiance wont mind missing the baby as long as it gets you better. have you discussed this with him? if you're isolated it might be nice to meet other mums in the same situation.



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Old 09-03-2012, 10:24 PM   #3
when.will.it.end
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It sounds like a good opportunity and like the support would help you. The practical stuff like your dog isn't really as important as your health & relationship with your child (no offense to your dog).

What other fears do you have about being admitted?



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Old 10-03-2012, 01:10 AM   #4
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Hi

Ive recently had an admission to a mother and baby unit. I was deeply depressed contemplating suicide and not bonding with my child. The first couple of nights they let me sleep without babe in with me so I could rest. I slowly began interacting with the staff spent alot of time in the nursery. I had a named nurse an allocated nurse which changed every shift and a named nursery nurse who helped me to bond. The unit was only a very small ward with max 10 beds which only became full on the day i left.

It helped me so much to bond with my son, lifted my depression a little out of the immediate crisis.

The problem for me was that it was 35 miles away from home and i hated taking my son away from my hubby. He visited most nights after work tho.

My advice is if you are not bonding with your child and struggling to cope with day to day life go in even if its for a week or so. There is alot of staff on the ward so always someone to talk to. My unit the rooms were onsuite so no sharing which was nice.

It was the best thing i did. Though now trying hard not to end up back in as i think it wouldnt be helpful a second time.



Its hard out there in that big world, im moving against the wind, but slowly Im pushing through and seeing through the foggy haze - Me

This is my family. I found it, all on my own. Is little, and broken, but still good. Yeah, still good! - Stitch

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Old 10-03-2012, 11:06 AM   #5
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I've already been in once for 8 weeks when he was first born. I don't have any problems with the bonding side of things, he is my absolute world :) but going through a tough patch atm!

Spoke to fiance last night, he doesn't want me to go, but thinks I should.

Thanks for your reply x

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Old 10-03-2012, 11:34 PM   #6
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It's an even smaller ward, 6 beds. No issues with bonding here, I'm bf and he's my absolute world :)

Really struggling to decide what to do, maybe wait to see what cpn says.

Other worries? That they'll decide there's nothing wrong with me or I can't be helped anymore :(

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Old 11-03-2012, 12:03 AM   #7
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I think it's a good idea to discuss it with your CPN.

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Old 13-03-2012, 12:10 PM   #8
Wellingtons
 
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I'm so scared. My cpn text me to say my psych is coming with her to visit me today , even though I have an apmt with psych tomorrow.

Feel sick.

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Old 13-03-2012, 02:45 PM   #9
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Am going back in. Need to pack, Urgh. Just bought a load of food in and now its going to go to waste.

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Old 13-03-2012, 04:23 PM   #10
Cryptic.
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Honestly, who cares if the food goes to waste? Your health is more important than food going to waste, you need to focus on yourself and your baby- those are the things that are important. Don't feel bad for buying food and it going to waste because you won't be there to eat it, (actually it won't be if your fiancee is there?), you gotta prioritize the fact you are not coping and need some help, yeah?

I wish you the best of luck & hope things get better for you.
xxxx



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Old 13-03-2012, 07:40 PM   #11
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Bramble, I think it is probably the best decision for you and baby. I hope that it will help you and that you will begin to feel better.

As Sarah said, the food doesn't matter. Having said that, that's the sort of thing I tend to get frustrated about - I guess it stops us from worrying about the bigger things.

Thinking of you lovely and of course your little baba. xxx

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Old 13-03-2012, 09:51 PM   #12
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Thanks both. I'm here now, its pretty rubbish. I want to be at home :(

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Old 13-03-2012, 11:41 PM   #13
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*Massive cuddles darling*

Are the staff being supportive? x

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Old 14-03-2012, 01:58 AM   #14
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Thinking of you xx



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Old 14-03-2012, 02:21 AM   #15
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Thinking of you as well

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Old 14-03-2012, 02:46 PM   #16
Wellingtons
 
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Thanks. Staff are lovely. Only 2 other women, one of which has lots of leave and is looking at discharge soon.

So bored. Don't have the concentration to read.

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Old 14-03-2012, 05:02 PM   #17
hellohefalump
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definately take it!!!

This is probably the best chance of getting better you're going to get. Like you say, when your baby is one you'll be back with the mental health team and you'll not get a chance like this to stay with your baby and help yourself at the same time.




If I were a bird - fish
My wings I would spread
I'd swoop over you
And plop on your head.


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Old 16-03-2012, 08:51 AM   #18
Steel Maiden
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Do you have DVD player or a laptop or similar? I found that when I was in hospital (not on a mother and baby unit, but on an acute psych ward) I had my laptop and I just spent loads of time playing games and watching things. I also connected my laptop to the internet via my mobile which meant I could go on RYL etc. Helped stop the boredom.



PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10 or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.

I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.


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Old 16-03-2012, 02:46 PM   #19
Wellingtons
 
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Thanks x

No laptop. The other two ladies are going on leave till Monday now so I'm on my own all weekend. I'll be lonely but at least it means 1:1 support. It's just hard relinquishing control of my baby as I'm used to doing everything. I have to stop bf too due to meds.

Just wish I wasn't in this situation, I can picture the life I want and I just don't have it.

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Old 16-03-2012, 06:22 PM   #20
Steel Maiden
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I hope that it will improve soon. My advice is to have anything and everything to distract yourself with. As boredom makes things feel worse.



PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10 or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.

I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.


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