i love you too Katie and thank you.
*hugs into Sammy close* is it really going to be ok in the end?
ive promised Kathy that i'll keep fighting and hang in there a little longer, she says its nearly over just got to fight for a bit longer.
its so so hard but i'll try.
i just wish the nightmares and flashbacks would go away and the memories and voices, cause im not coping with it all so well.
*curls up with eeyore sobbing*
i cant wait for things to get better, im exhausted with it all now.
had a really bad panic attack last night and my carer called an ambulance cause i couldnt breathe, they gave me oxygen and managed to sort me out so i didnt have to go to hospital.
these panic attacks are happening more often now especially after bad nightmares and flashbacks, and im finding it so hard to cope with.
i so want to just give up but i know i cant, i know ive got to keep fighting for a bit longer but it is so hard.
everything is intensifying because the court case is coming up, why cant my head just forget? i dont want to remember, i dont want to relive it, i just want it gone.
im sorry rant over
i feel completely wiped out and that im losing it. *curls up tight*
*hugs* ive not been around much but do read this when get on. words still escapin me some. youve come so far, dont forget to look back at where you were n where you are now, at the difference. things should get easier after all the court stuff is over
Every day the world is made a chance to change but i feel the same.
And I wonder why would i wait till i die to come alive?"
All alone the way she feels
Left alone to deal with all the pain-drenched sorrow relief
Roli.... *cuddles close* im fighting i am really trying, yes in this together always hunni. your not alone im righ here.
Katie..... im sorry your heads being bad, i know what you mean thouh mine is too. thank you for your continued support. i love you.
Anna..... thank you for your reply and support, i guess looking back i have come quite along way, but not far enough yet.
im still feeling extremely low and im getting more and more anxious as the court date gets closer. i just want it all over with now. the flashbacks and nightmares are so vivid and intense and getting worse each day, im really struggling to cope with them and im scared of what i might do.
had an horrendous night and now feeling so desperate and out of control.
still feeling poorly too and thats making things worse
just seriously had enough
im sorry
Jo, please. Reach out again for help. Talk to your doctor? Can you print off these posts to let her see how desperate you are?
I know it's hard darling and you've got through SO SO much. Like Anna said; you've got so far and kept fighting all this way, you can't let them win now. You are one of the strongest people I know, I know you will get through this and come out the other side. Please don't lose faith in yourself. Not now.
*hugs Katie*
im still here really struggling but still here. im trying so hard not to let them win so so hard, but sometimes its just all to much. the court case is getting nearer and im petrified about it and the nightmares and flashbacks are so intense and vivid im not coping with them at all.
im going to talk to kathy tonight about the last bit of the attack so hopefully i wont have to talk about it again and i can start to heal. not looking forward to doing it though its so hard to write it down but i know in the end it will help me.
I'm sorry things are still so hard for you darling. I hope when the court case is over things will start to improve. You're doing amazingly to still be fighting Jo, we're all so proud of you <3
I hope the final time of talking to Kathy helps and you can start to heal. You deserve it. Try to do it even when it's hard; it really is for the best.
im in a real bad way today had an awful night and im feeling very suicidal right now, i dont think i can keep fighting till the court date.
i told Kathy the last bit of the attack last night it was so hard and brought on a severe panic attack. and the flashbacks and nightmares of the attack are unbearable, i cant do this anymore i cant.
*curls up tight crying*
im not doing good at all and seriously fighting suicidal thoughts.
cant do it anymore
tired of it all
completely exhausted and losing the fight
im scared
Take Care, Stay Safe, Shout if you need anything
