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Old 20-10-2008, 11:26 PM   #1
Day Tripper
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Anyone willing to help with my research paper?

Hi everyone. :)

I've cleared this with my fellow moderators just to follow regular protocol.

I'm doing a research paper for my English class. I've chose to do mine on the reasons behind why people self harm and their perspectives on it. (We had to pick something that could be considered controversial.)

Basically, for my paper, I would like to add in a few statements from actual people that self harm. I don't need much, just a sentence or two, to sum up what self harm is to you, your reasons you self harm, or how you see self harm. Even how you feel you're perceived because of your self harm.

I know it's hard to sum it up in such few words as there is a lot behind it. My teacher is very uninformed about this, and my final for my class is actually to give a power point presentation on this paper, so I would like it to be as personalized and real as possible.

You can PM me or post your responses here. If you have any questions, feel free to ask.

I will let you know, if you would like, if I chose to use your statements in my paper/power point.

Thanks for your help!


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Old 20-10-2008, 11:42 PM   #2
torn_into_peices
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hey.
i think this is a great idea.. i'd love to help =]
idk what to say tho lol... urm what exactly do you want??

"i numb the emotional pain which in turn numbs me completely, cutting releases of all the pent up emotions and i can feel again.. even if its only for a little while"

"i cut because it makes the emotional pain physical,, and the physical pain is easier to deal with"

"i hate my scars, but when they fade i miss them. they make me who i am, and show the pain i've been through"

"self harm is my personal escape, i dont show them off to get attention, i try my best to hide them every single day"

"it worries me what people will think when they see my scars. i worry about the questions i might be asked, because i dont have all the answers as to "why" i self harm"



I Love You Because The Expression On Your Face Doesn't Change When You Look At My Scars..


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Old 20-10-2008, 11:45 PM   #3
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"You start out making on cut, but then they keep coming and it gets worse and worse. I think it's nearly impossible for a non self-harmer to fully understand the mind processes of a self harmer."



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Old 20-10-2008, 11:50 PM   #4
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Things like what you guys have posted are what I'm looking for. Thanks! :)

I'm basically just going to integrate a few into my paper in a way like, "In regards to this, a self harmer says, "yadayadayada."

Well, done better than that, as it will be relevant to the section of my paper it's in. I just want to make my paper more personalized, especially since I was considering trying to set something up at my school for SIAD. Just something small, like take a pamphlet, buy an orange ribbon, the funds going to some relevant cause... and I'm hoping this paper, and my teacher being informed further than what she currently is, will help out with that, also.

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Old 20-10-2008, 11:52 PM   #5
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Cutting for me takes away the thought of the emotional pain for a short while, whilst i focus on the physical.

I cut because i deserve it, i feel so repulsed by myself that if i try to cut the badness out then maybe ill be better.

People think its attention seeking, but none of my scars are visable and nor are many other self harmers. Its a coping mechanism.

My self harm represents someone who has struggled but has fought it. Its a part of me and will always be there. But i know once ive fought it, i can look back and say im strong i beat it and these scars are a reminder of my past but make me appreciate the good times more.

Hope thats some help and good luck



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Old 20-10-2008, 11:58 PM   #6
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Honestly, for me, at the moment, cutting is the only thing that gets me through the day. I know that its not really good, or healthy, but it means that I'm still alive





"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. Make us all feel wonderful. We'll never forget."




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Old 21-10-2008, 12:00 AM   #7
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Cutting for me is a way of life and my blades are my best friends... it started off with just a few... now my bodys perminatly scarred, i wish i never made my first cut or my first branding mark but its the only way to distract my mind with whats really going on inside besides... i deserve it!



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Old 21-10-2008, 01:39 AM   #8
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If I self harmed for attention, I wouldn't be sitting here in the middle of summer wearing a jumper to hide my scars.

I wish I had never started with self, before even the first cut I was self harming, I still wonder today, if I had stopped there, I wouldn't still have to hide behind my wall.

I don't self harm to kill myself, in a way it keeps me alive, it turn all the emotional pain into physical pain. Pysical pain I can cope with, it doesn't overwhelm me.



It's easier to run; Replacing this pain with something numb;It's so much easier to go;Than face all this pain here all alone;



Some people say courage is diving infront of a bullet, or bungy jumping off a bridge, but thats not true courage, true courage is facing everyday knowing that it won't be a happy go lucky day, but facing it anyway. It's facing your past, dealing with the present, and looking forward to brighter days.

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Old 21-10-2008, 02:45 AM   #9
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cutting for me is an escape from my feelings and everytime i do it i feel i deserve it...



we are the fallen
we are the wounded
we are the shattered
we are the unheard
we are the brave
we are the strong
we are Survivors.
and.....
we are the future
we fallen can still rise by the wings of hope that lifts us~

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Old 21-10-2008, 03:53 AM   #10
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I feel that because what has been done to me in the past, I deserve a life of pain. I was abused by people who were supposed to care for me, therefore I feel the need to abuse myself.



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Old 21-10-2008, 04:28 AM   #11
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"I self harm because I hate myself. I hate who I am and I hate that I feel so alone even though there are so many loved ones around me. I feel ugly, fat, and unattractive. I don't feel worthy of love. I hate the fact my father chose alcohol over me and died when I was eleven. He promised he would always be there for me and watch me graduate high school. Where the hell was he? Six feet under ground in a box."

"It pisses me off that people don't understand self harm and dismiss it as repulsive. But yet the same people accept drug addiction and alcoholism as unhealthy ways of coping. I hate the fact that most of the mental health professionals I have seen are disgusted by my behavior. How can they help me when they walk around with closed minds? It makes me feel even more alone. They ask me to call them before I want to hurt myself. I don't see the point in this when they don't know what I'm going through. They just say to distract myself. They don't tell me it's going to be okay or that I don't have to do that, or even ask why I feel like doing it. It makes me so angry. They look at me like I'm a freak and seem afraid of my behavior."

"I hate that my family threatens to have me put in a court ordered facility if I don't stop cutting myself. I'm Twentythree years old and yet they treat me like a child, like I'm rebelling against something. This is how I choose to cope. And yes, I know it's not a good thing to do, but it helps at the moment. The pain on the outside is no measure to the pain on the outside, so why not feel the lesser pain?"

Sorry, that was a bit long Shannon.



Falling apart and all I'm asking... ...Is this the truth or am I overreacting?

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Old 21-10-2008, 06:49 AM   #12
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I cut so that I can feel something, but also so that I'll feel nothing. I started thinking of it like a thermos, it'll keep hot things hot but it'll keep cold things cold in the same container.
SI makes everything feel 'right' in a way.



It's the children the world almost breaks that grow up to save it.
-Frank Warren


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Old 21-10-2008, 07:04 AM   #13
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As a small child when you fall over, you learn that a consequence may be that you cut yourself and it hurts. That is understandable. The pain inside me is too big and complicated for me to understand, so I interpret it as a pain which makes sense-something that I can understand.

Self harm is more part of our culture that we realise. In theory any one who smokes or binge drinks could be considered a self harmer, but they are never tarnished with the same label of prejudice. So where is the line between socially acceptable and socially unacceptable acts of self harm? And what makes one person using one form of self harm crazy, and another normal? Its something that really gets to me when people judge me.



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Old 21-10-2008, 07:55 AM   #14
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Scratching myself can feel like the only way to express the rawness I feel emotionally on the outside, and gives me something tangible to care for.

When I've hit myself, at the time it's felt the only way to vent the sense of lack of control in other areas of my life, and my frustration, blind terror and anger at this.

And, as it describes in "The PTSD Sourcebook" [one of my diagnoses is Complex PTSD], with self harm, there is the illusion of control, of being able to control when the pain begins and when it ends, unlike during the trauma and abuse.

At times also for me it's been self punishment, for being a 'bad person'.

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Old 21-10-2008, 10:19 AM   #15
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Self harm helps me get through a bad day and I have come to both loathe and need it. It helps distract me from the emotional pain and turbulance by making it physical. A cut is much easier to heal than a bad memory or feeling and because of this it has become my secret coping mechanism.





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Old 21-10-2008, 05:01 PM   #16
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Wow. So many responses. You guys are wonderful!

If anyone wants, more can still be added. I'm working on my paper a bit at the moment and am going to pick a few soon to start trying to work into it. :)

Thanks again!

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Old 21-10-2008, 05:39 PM   #17
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When someone else hurts you, then they are in control. With self harm you decide when, where, how deep and most importantly of all you can make it stop. It's so much easier to deal with physical pain. It's so much more simple. You can see what's wrong and you can fix it with a bandage or a few stitches...

When people find out, its almost impossible to shift the label of 'self harmer'. Everything you do gets interpreted (sp) in a different way. You get seen in a whole new light. You become vunerable. People can see your hurt, and can see how much you're suffering...to me that is terrifying, so it remains hidden.































duno if that helps (Y)

hope it all goes well
good luck

xx



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Old 21-10-2008, 06:48 PM   #18
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My only comfort in a cold cold world.



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Old 21-10-2008, 08:43 PM   #19
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i started cutting as a form of punishment, and out of frustration
sometimes i do it because it lets out emotions - i can more easily cover cuts than red eyes from crying.
sometimes i do it because it allows me to function at the level people have come to expect of me and i expect from myself. when i don't self-harm my concentration and motivation decrease.
sometimes i do it just to satisfy the urge. it's a choice but it's an addiction too.
sometimes i do it to compete with myself, the way in anorexia you challenge yourself to limit further and further what you eat, as if it was only a game.
when you self-harm it is difficult to make friends, because it creates this whole area of your life that is unacceptable.
it comes into every judgement people make about you but at the same time they can't accept you for it.
because of the reactions from other people, you always second guess yourself: am i doing this for attention? am i feeling sorry for myself? am i selfish for doing this? just one thing a person says can make you feel as if the punishment of self-harm is even more justified than you thought.

... got a bit carried away there didn't i lol!



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Old 21-10-2008, 09:13 PM   #20
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I cut myslef for some of the reasons said, but also cos i never learnt how i can deal with my emotional pain, and how to make myself feel better.
I have trouble with crying, as i'm very self concious, and have trouble reacting to life changing situation, so i cut.
Hope it helps?
x



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