Can't live with them, can't live without them - anxiety meds
I have a problem that I don't really know how to deal with. The medication I am currently taking (clonazepam) is making me confused and has a very negative effect on my memory. It makes me extremely forgetful. I am worried about being forgetful at work because my employer isn't very understanding. I am also trying to learn some new professional skills and I am having a super hard time remembering new information, and it really gets me down and makes me think I'll never get anywhere this way.
On the other hand, without medications I really struggle with severe anxiety, dissociation and even some hallucinations, so that's even less of a chance of having a normal life.
I talked to my psychiatrist and he insisted I continue taking the medication and don't change the dose. He cannot switch me to another meds because everything else either was proven ineffective, or causes more serious side effects (I have brain damage, serious heart issues and asthma, so compared to that my forgetfulness and confusion are "mild issues").
I get really upset everytime I forget something or get confused, especially when it ends up causing discomfort for other people. I am beginning to hate myself for this.
Thank you for a reply.
I do not plan to go against my doctors advice and stop taking my medication, and I completely understand why no sane person would advise me to ignore my doctor's advice. I think I didn't phraze my question well at all, I'm sorry. What I hoped for is that maybe someone had a similar experience with side effects from their medication and could suggest some helpful strategies for dealing with them in a day to day life.
Oh, and I take clonazepam daily at least once, and can take a slightly higher dose if necessary.
Last edited by Juella : 06-03-2020 at 04:12 PM.
Reason: added information
I wonder if it would be worth looking into memory skills?everyone's memory works different and I wonder if there could be some methods out there that might help you.
My memory goes terrible when my mood is off, I know it's not quite the same. I find that the more I think "oh I must remember what this person is saying" the hard I find it to take in what they are saying and then remember it. I have to make notes a lot otherwise I forget things I find bullet journals are good for organising lots of different things and sometimes just the act of consciously making a note of something means I'm more likely to remember it.
Are you allowed to take it at a different time of day? Or do you notice if your memory issues are better or worse at specific times of day? For me, I know the times of day I am better able to do things and remember things so I try to plan important things around that. I also pair a lot of actions and things together so that I have associations, like, when I feed my dog, I eat dinner.
I ask people to write things down a lot because otherwise I tend to need things repeated multiple times and still tend to not understand or forget. I usually have something to write with/on as well as my laptop and phone in case they have to physically write it out. I write things out instead of talking most of the time too. This means I do not have to worry about forgetting things, since it is all there. It can be really hard to deal with stuff like that, I do not take medication but I have a lot of similar struggles and it tends to spiral when I get worried about it occurring. I find the more strategies I have in place for dealing with the worst-case scenario, the less worried I get about messing up or forgetting.
That was a bit of a mess sorry if not useful.
Please do not give me virtual hugs unless you are only using the hug function on threads. Thanks.
You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.
I noticed my memory getting worse when I started taking medications. I actually take clonazepam, too, but only when needed. When I take a lower dose I don't notice any issues. When it's higher, I do have some memory/focus issues. Obviously the dosage is between you and your Dr. ...that's just something I noticed myself.
I noticed memory issues beginning before I started clonazepam. It happened first when I began buproprion, which I later stopped. I just felt...frazzled? Like I wasn't able to cling to any thoughts or retain much information. Those things weren't really a problem before medication. Medication's therapeutic effects outweighs the frustrating memory issues, though, so I'm stickig with it.
I just constantly have my "Notes" document open and take notes of what people are saying, write down the action items they need, the steps I need to take, etc. I use a Reminders App, too, so that I get popups during work about various things that need to get done. Oh, and I use the Sticky Notes app to write out a daily to-do list, too. It's a bit chaotic but it does the trick.
Last thought: I started my medication journey with my GP, and then switched to a Psychiatrist. The GP was great but the Psychiatrist was better able to modify my medications to what works best with the fewest symptoms. Do you have the choice to get a second opinion for your meds?
Hang in there!
“I opened myself to the gentle indifference of the world.”
Closing due to age. Juella, feel free to PM me if you would like the thread reopening :)
We may not see eye to eye, but we can respect each other's opinions and find the truth in them.
Perhaps in those honest conversations, instead of demonising each other,
we might see each other as imperfect humans, doing our best. ~ Jodi Picoult