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Old 25-09-2020, 05:28 PM   #101
Darkwings44
 
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yeah i live in texas.....
im my own legal guardian
i really dont want to bother anyone...... i think its better for me to die instead of bothering people....... that way no one is inconvenienced... (although i can never get my death right though... i really need a easy way to die.... that even a stupid person such as me cant mess it up!!)



just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life....


Am I a failure from birth
Is misery what I deserve
Am I just so void of love
That I'm never good, never good enough
~citizen soldier-never good enough

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Old 25-09-2020, 07:30 PM   #102
not_so_insig
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Any form of death isn't easy. The only possibility is from old age in your sleep but if you try to kill yourself whilst you're comparatively young it's liable to hurt/be painful. Even if you try to kill yourself there's no guarantee of death and you could end up permanently damaged but still alive if your method fails.

Please reach out and ask for help if you're feeling suicidal.



Wannabe CPN : -)
"He who is tired of Weird Al is tired of life." - Homer Simpson
"I hear those voices that will not be drowned"
Sanity is a nasty disease. The world would be a happier place without it. - Rilic
RIP Kat 4th July 1987- 11th June 2013

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Old 26-09-2020, 05:36 PM   #103
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damn...... your right....... >_<
I'll research easy ways to die on the internet there has to be some way.... people die all the time... it cant be that hard to do........ (im secretly jealous of them..)

i cant ask for help....... i dont want to be a inconvenience.......



just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life....


Am I a failure from birth
Is misery what I deserve
Am I just so void of love
That I'm never good, never good enough
~citizen soldier-never good enough

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Old 26-09-2020, 10:24 PM   #104
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i got enough bravery to show my watt pad friend my poem about my dad......

The following content has been hidden - Reason : poem..

You smell like beer and cigarette smoke
I know im going to be at fault......
You look angry like a volcano about to explode
I know I’m going to be in trouble......
You yell my name
I know that There’s is going to be a fight
You start hitting me
Pain erupts in my face
You start calling me stupid and idiot
Pain erupts in my heart
But I know I deserve it
Because I definitely know that......
I am nothing at all.

shes been nice and supportive of my story so far and i also gave her my email so i can talk to her off the site


Last edited by Darkwings44 : 26-09-2020 at 10:25 PM. Reason: added more to it


just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life....


Am I a failure from birth
Is misery what I deserve
Am I just so void of love
That I'm never good, never good enough
~citizen soldier-never good enough

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Old 27-09-2020, 12:07 AM   #105
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Thank you for your messages alerting me to updates. I’m sorry I haven’t replied directly- I need to clear my inbox before I can reply.

I was wondering if you’ve shown your therapist the poem about your dad or any other writing? It may be easier to show them rather than having to go through details, at least to start with x





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Old 27-09-2020, 05:14 PM   #106
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thats ok
no.... i would never show them anything.....



just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life....


Am I a failure from birth
Is misery what I deserve
Am I just so void of love
That I'm never good, never good enough
~citizen soldier-never good enough

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Old 27-09-2020, 06:17 PM   #107
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im thinking of asking my friend whats the easyist way to die....



just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life....


Am I a failure from birth
Is misery what I deserve
Am I just so void of love
That I'm never good, never good enough
~citizen soldier-never good enough

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Old 28-09-2020, 02:36 AM   #108
not_so_insig
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A true friend wouldn't give you that information and would want you to seek help. If they do then they weren't a friend in the first place and I would dump them asap.

Like I said there's no easy way of death. I get that you're hurting though.


Last edited by not_so_insig : 28-09-2020 at 02:49 AM.


Wannabe CPN : -)
"He who is tired of Weird Al is tired of life." - Homer Simpson
"I hear those voices that will not be drowned"
Sanity is a nasty disease. The world would be a happier place without it. - Rilic
RIP Kat 4th July 1987- 11th June 2013

Please do not pm me without permission as I find getting PMs very stressful.

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Old 28-09-2020, 09:38 PM   #109
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she did... but the problem with the thing she told me is that i dont have a gun........ but she also said

"Hey kid I know its hard. Life is a pain in the ass and I can't promise it'll get any better. I don't know exactly what you're going through or why just know you're not alone and you're stronger then you think. I promise in the end it'll be worth it. You're going to do great things and you're going to change so many people's life's. You're story will give others courage to make it through to another day. All the fear and pain you're experiencing will make you stronger so stick with me a little longer I'll always be here to listen and I don't judge. I'll never judge anyone who speaks there mind. I'm here for you for however long you need me I promise."


i really value her as a friend!!!!!!!!!! <3



just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life....


Am I a failure from birth
Is misery what I deserve
Am I just so void of love
That I'm never good, never good enough
~citizen soldier-never good enough

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Old 01-10-2020, 03:26 AM   #110
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i really feel bad right now i neeed a blade but i cant get one because i cant go into any store because the covid-19 i dont know what to do.....



just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life....


Am I a failure from birth
Is misery what I deserve
Am I just so void of love
That I'm never good, never good enough
~citizen soldier-never good enough

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Old 03-10-2020, 05:43 PM   #111
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thoughts are running through my mind... its like a recording over and over again they wont stop!!



just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life....


Am I a failure from birth
Is misery what I deserve
Am I just so void of love
That I'm never good, never good enough
~citizen soldier-never good enough

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Old 03-10-2020, 06:17 PM   #112
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my friend didnt email me back i dont know what happened!!! yesterday is the last time she emailed me and she usely emails right back im really worried that she might be mad or rejected me because of what i told her.... maybe i trully am alone.... i dont know anymore....


Last edited by Darkwings44 : 03-10-2020 at 06:18 PM. Reason: added more to it


just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life....


Am I a failure from birth
Is misery what I deserve
Am I just so void of love
That I'm never good, never good enough
~citizen soldier-never good enough

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Old 03-10-2020, 08:40 PM   #113
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The following content has been hidden - Reason : im fine, =)
I CANT TAKE LIFE ANYMORE!!!!!! its not like anyone care or notice!!!!! im just a worthless peice of shit anyway!!!!!!! i really need to disappear



just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life....


Am I a failure from birth
Is misery what I deserve
Am I just so void of love
That I'm never good, never good enough
~citizen soldier-never good enough

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Old 03-10-2020, 09:04 PM   #114
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i just emailed my friend........

The following content has been hidden - Reason : the email.
Im sorry that I have say goodbye. You were the first real friend I had in years and I really appreciate you alot .. but I guess I was a burden to you and too worthless for you because you wont reply to me at all and just to make sure you know that im not mad at you at all… you derseve a much better friend then me… you derseve a lot better friend then me…..


im ready to find a way to die...


Last edited by Pi.R^2 : 11-10-2020 at 11:07 AM. Reason: please see your PMs


just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life....


Am I a failure from birth
Is misery what I deserve
Am I just so void of love
That I'm never good, never good enough
~citizen soldier-never good enough

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Old 03-10-2020, 09:48 PM   #115
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What kind of support would you like from your posts? I’m sorry you’re feeling so rough. A friend not emailing back in a day can feel like rejection I know, but it’s not a reason to kill yourself. Death is a permanent option to a situation...





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Old 03-10-2020, 09:52 PM   #116
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i dont know.... i just need to die......
my friend replyed back to me just now....



just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life....


Am I a failure from birth
Is misery what I deserve
Am I just so void of love
That I'm never good, never good enough
~citizen soldier-never good enough

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Old 03-10-2020, 10:03 PM   #117
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my friend says that she was alsleep and then had family problems whitch is why she didnt reply to me.... she says that she doesnt want me to kill myself....
but i really dont think that i can live life anymore....



just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life....


Am I a failure from birth
Is misery what I deserve
Am I just so void of love
That I'm never good, never good enough
~citizen soldier-never good enough

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Old 03-10-2020, 11:15 PM   #118
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When you reached out to people saying you wanted to die, what would you have liked to happen?





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Old 03-10-2020, 11:16 PM   #119
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How do you tho k your friend would feel receiving that email?





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Old 04-10-2020, 04:56 AM   #120
not_so_insig
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You mentioned that you just want to die. Surely posting on an support website means that part of you wants to live? Hold onto that part. Reach out. Talk to the group home staff.

If your friend or anyone else you're in contact with online doesn't respond straight away it doesn't automatically mean that they're ignoring you/rejection. They may be sick, have Internet access problems, have device problems, be asleep, be in work/school etc. Or simply haven't checked their emails. I have a friend who takes 3 days to respond to my texts it doesn't mean she doesnt care she has other pressures in rl. I dont get frustrated with her though or send potentially disturbing messages.


Last edited by not_so_insig : 04-10-2020 at 05:06 AM.


Wannabe CPN : -)
"He who is tired of Weird Al is tired of life." - Homer Simpson
"I hear those voices that will not be drowned"
Sanity is a nasty disease. The world would be a happier place without it. - Rilic
RIP Kat 4th July 1987- 11th June 2013

Please do not pm me without permission as I find getting PMs very stressful.

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