People noticing my relapse…what do i do?
So I haven't really been on RYL since I was 13.
That's when I started cutting and it was really really bad then.
I quit, went back, and then quit again for a year and a half. Now I'm 16, i have a new life at a new school with new friends and a ton of support, and I'm cutting again. I'm not even really sure what started it in the first place. I was just put on meds for the first time and everything seemed to be going okay. But now it's been a month, I still haven't stopped, and I just had my first serious urge in a long time… I think I may be addicted again. I am going through some stress with a friend of mine that may be making it a bit harder as well.
I know this isn't where I want my life to be going. Two of my friends have already noticed (people who I never wanted to know about this) and now, so has my mom (I know she won't do anything about it though). I know deep down that it would be beneficial to stop… I just don't really feel ready to. I don't think I can tell my therapist about it. I don't know why but I feel beyond uncomfortable sharing it with her, or talking about it to anyone honestly. Even people I know will understand--I can't bring myself to talk about it, and I'm not sure why. It even makes me kind of uncomfortable to post this, and the only reason I can is because I know it will remain anonymous.
Any insight or suggestions? I don't know what to do.