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Old 10-01-2019, 11:43 AM   #121
Buttons.
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That sounds like a really tough day yesterday Beckie. Thinking of you.



'Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.'

['What are you really holding onto? Life is a tight rope and you're burning burning burning both ends.']

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Old 10-01-2019, 12:23 PM   #122
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Thanks Buttons x

I've just had ward round.
She's going to consult with a medical doctor about tube feeding me.
Also refused to take me off 1-1
I am scared and angry


Last edited by Cacoethes : 10-01-2019 at 12:32 PM.


I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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Old 10-01-2019, 01:46 PM   #123
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I can absolutely understand being scared and angry. It sounds like your body isn't coping. I hope you can let them help you.



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This is happening, this is part of you.


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Old 10-01-2019, 02:26 PM   #124
Cacoethes
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My body is coping.
It is
I've been trying to look for the legal stuff around force feeding.
Surely they can't do it if I have capacity and my vitals are all fine??



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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Old 10-01-2019, 04:31 PM   #125
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It doesn't sound like your body is coping if you're feeling weak and possibly had a seizure. To me it sounds like things are much worse for you now through not eating and drinking enough and that could be more damaging than whatever you think is going on with the contamination. Of course you're scared and angry, there is so much going on and decisions being made that you don't want to be made, I understand. People are trying to help you even if it doesn't seem like that to you.





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Old 10-01-2019, 05:06 PM   #126
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Lindsay speaks wise words Beckie. I have nothing more to say other than I am reading what you are saying and that I care.



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Old 10-01-2019, 06:38 PM   #127
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Thank you both

Its been decided that they are going to try and send me to hospital tomorrow when there's a bed.
I am not happy and I'm not going.

And they've just made me have glucogel even though my blood sugar is above the agreed number



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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Old 10-01-2019, 07:21 PM   #128
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Well coming from the perspective of working on a female acute ward, we have had a patient who refused food and fluids and screamed and threw food and drinks at staff whenever we tried to give them to her. Her blood sugars were just skimming through however you could see that she was extremely dehydrated. Sh was put on 1:1 to monitor. In the end as she was on section 3, we had to restrain and then im and transfer her to general hospital. She was forced with fluids. Food was not forced upon her but we needed to get fluid balances fine before even thinking of food. But the fluids helped and although this was constant that we would treat the physical health it was taking a while until depot kicked in. So she would go from acute ward to general and back again. It was a cycle.

But in long story short they can force nutrition on you if it is relating to your mental health. However it’s not as easy as “you will have to have this” there’s a lot more to it like authorisation from the above people higher than the RC.

I’m so sorry you’re going through such a rough time at the moment. Do you feel able to rationalise the way you are feeling regarding food and fluid? As scary as it is do you feel able to explain how nutrition will make your blood more contaminated than what it is now? In your view do you think the food and fluid if it is sealed could help flush whatever contamination you think you have in your blood?

Just a thought but if the lack of nutrition is contributing to the possible seizure then if you have a proper one it could affect your ability to continue to drive which I know means a lot for you when you pass.

Beckie, you’ve been through so much in your life and you’ve come out the other side. Your so strong and amazing please don’t give up. J needs you. Xxx



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Old 10-01-2019, 07:30 PM   #129
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Thank you R x

Im sorry but I've got such a mind blank and don't know how to respond.

The doctor didn't mention the maybe seizure so hopefully no one has mentioned it.



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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Old 10-01-2019, 07:52 PM   #130
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cacoethes View Post
Surely they can't do it if I have capacity and my vitals are all fine??
Hate to be blunt Beckie, but you wouldn’t have been sectioned if you had capacity.

The only way you are going to get out of this is if you try and work with them.

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Old 10-01-2019, 08:12 PM   #131
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I can't work with them
They are doing all these awful things to me
They aren't bad people but they are doing bad things



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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Old 10-01-2019, 08:27 PM   #132
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I think the issue is that you are seeing them as bad things, while they're seeing it as their ethical duty to keep you safe and alive. If you aren't able to do that yourself, then they have to step in. And it sounds like things are to that point.



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Old 10-01-2019, 09:56 PM   #133
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What kind of bad things do you feel that the nursing staff are doing? X



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Old 10-01-2019, 09:59 PM   #134
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They are threatening injections and making me have glucogel and medication.
I don't need any of it
They shouldn't be doing it to me



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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Old 10-01-2019, 10:52 PM   #135
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Just found out I was prescribed mirtazepine today and I wasn't told.
They aren't even asking anymore.
Just doing things.



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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Old 11-01-2019, 06:46 AM   #136
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You should have been told, that isn't okay.

Can you get in touch with your mom or CPN or someone? It sounds like you could really use someone on your side right now to support and advocate for you.



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This is happening, this is part of you.


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Old 11-01-2019, 11:42 AM   #137
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I don't even know why.
I'm not depressed!
They had to reduce citalopram because guidelines changed apparently and the max dose is 20mg and I was on 40mg
So maybe that's why?
But im not showing any signs of depression so seems completely unnecessary!

My mum literally always takes their side and always has.
I dont really know my cc well enough to go into this with her.



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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Old 11-01-2019, 03:16 PM   #138
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Is there someone on the CMHT who you have known for a while and who knows you well that you would feel able to discuss things with? Or are there any staff on the ward who you trust to explain to you what's going on and why they are doing what they are?





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Old 12-01-2019, 11:52 AM   #139
Cacoethes
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I don't know anyone else at the cmht.
The staff explain things all the time.
But I think its just scare tactics.

I had to go to hospital last night.
They gave me lots of medication, dragged me to the secure ambulance and took me to hospital.
I was there from about 6pm-6am.
All they did was take blood and declare me medically fit and send me back to the ward!
So I managed to get away with it.
My consultant is going to be sooo pissed on Monday.
But I am safe for now.



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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Old 12-01-2019, 11:56 AM   #140
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Since what you wanted originally was to be seen by a medical doctor, and now you have been, do you think being declared medically fit is an indicator that the contamination is gone?



You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.


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