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Old 26-08-2008, 11:39 AM   #1
Traydor
 
Triggering (Abuse) - Bullied at work

Hi,

This is more-or-less my first post apart from my introduction and I'm not sure but I feel that this is the best place for me to get started here by explaining why I'm here.

Currently I'm out of work on stress because of bullying from a work colleague and lack of help and support from management. It started around November last year when the work colleague started undermining me in front of everyone including my line manager and new people who I was training. She would also cut me down alot by being very sarcastic in a rude way and she even destoryed some of my personal property and never apologised for it and even had the nerve to say that it was my fault. This behaviour carried on for about 5 months.

I went to my line manager a few times to say I wasn't happy with how I was being treated but the last time I went to him for help he just laughed in my face and walked away. I felt so gutted. The behaviour of that work colleague still continued.

The final straw at work was when I received my end of year report from my manager and I told him that I was not happy with it as the report did not take into account the amount of work and resposibility that I took on throughout the year and when I mentioned this he told me that isn't good enough and just ignored what I was saying to him. I said that I wouldn't sign my report because I was not happy with it but he said that if I don't sign it I would not receive the back pay that we would normally receive in August. I couldn't afford this so I signed it.

This put me into a very bad depression because I felt that no matter how hard I worked it'll never be good enough and when I looked for help when I was being bullied I must not have been worth helping. My sense of worth took a nose-dive and I started hating myself for being so weak for feeling this way. I was so angry and frustrated with everything including myself that I started self-harming again.

I have a history of self-harming and the last time I did it was about 5-6 years ago but I managed to snap out of it by myself with no help of support from anyone and then it got so bad that I was seriously considering ending it and that really scared me. It took me years to recover from that state but a apart of me was forever 'damaged' but I made a promised to myself that I would never self-harm again. It really hurt me more that I broke that promise to myself but this time I've been getting help but I don't feel safe yet because Nothing has been resolved at work yet. I have my union involved and told them everything but they contacted me last week and stated that I don't have a very strong case because the witnesses I named are not going to stand up for me. This knocked me back badly but I didn't s/h (i stopped myself from doing this).

I'm meeting with one of the many managers from work tomorrow to discuss why I've been off work (10 weeks now) and my union is going to be there but I feel nervous because I already feel defeated and that these people are going to get away with everything they did. Everything I described at work is in a general sense, I didn't want to go into details, I didn't want to make myself or anyone else uncomfortable.

At the minute I feel a bit confused and worried but I feel a little good about myself that I haven't s/h in 2 months now but I feel that I'm on shaky grounds because I nearly s/h last week.

Well this is my story and how I feel at the minute but I have been getting some help professionally but I feel that I need to let people or speak to people who have been in the same boat as me. I'm sorry if this is too much info or long winded or if it is even posted in the wrong place, I just had to get this out of me.

Martin

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Old 26-08-2008, 03:44 PM   #2
Queer Fringe
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I'm sorry to hear about this, it must be so hard. I have not been in the same boat, well I had teachers that bullied me and I confronted them. Good luck with tomorrow, I hope it all goes well
Could you possibly go to someone higher up in work than the line manager? Have you ever thought about finding a new job?
PM me anytime if you need any help. Take Care xx



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Old 27-08-2008, 04:15 PM   #3
Chaos
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I had similar problems with the company i worked for, for five years. I was constantly being undermined day after day, and made to feel humiliated by higher members of staff. I would do many unreasnble things for the company just to get them off my back, including work 16 hour shifts, and have no breaks at all, which is totally illegal.

I had several periods of time that i had to take off work because of the stress i was feeling. I was so terribly unhappy working there, but i couldnt afford to leave at the time. If it wasn't for the fact that my colleagues were nice people i don't think i could have stuck it out.

The thing is, You shouldn't have to stick it out. If there's one thing i have learnt through this, it's that your health is worth so much more than working in some crummy place where you are not appreciated. I did alot of research into the company i worked for, and found out they have an attrocious reputation for their treatment of staff.

The final straw was working a 16 hour day for the fourth day in a row, only to be paid no over time in my pay packet, because they decided to take my sick pay off my wages from 8 months previous, despite being told it had already been taken off months before. They took that money off me three weeks before christmas, i literally had nothing to spend on the holidays.

One day after being shouted at at work, and due to other circumstances, i broke down. I went into the staff toilets, broke down in tears, and just couldn't hold it together. I quit there and then. Within 24 hours i'd moved out of my flat, and had to go home with my parents because i was so unstable.

but it was the best decision of my life. Don't put up with the crap. It is just not worth it.



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Old 28-08-2008, 02:29 PM   #4
Traydor
 

Thank you for the replies, I really apreciate it folks.

The meeting that I had went better than me or my union thought it would go. I went in expecting the worse or even ultimatums, but the manager I sopke too was very understanding and couldn't believe the amount of stuff that i had to put up with. She was also suprised by the fact that the work i was doing should have been done by upper management and actually stated that it seemed that i was doing their job for them. She was so simpathetic towards me and stated that I should take as much time as i need to recover and she would deal with the problem people at work. I was trying hard to keep myself together so that I could make a good impression so that i didn't come across as over-acting, and i'm sure she saw this.

I was so not expecting her to be so helpful and my nerves felt like they shattered afterwards cause i was shaking from relief and i felt very tired after going through every detail that happened. At the minute I'm just focusing on myself now and i feel better that I don't have to worry about work for the time being.

I definitely going to take your advice from now on Crazy Rabbit Lady and I'm going to write down everything if anything happens again but i really hope there isn't a next time of course .

Thank all of you for making me feel so welcome and able to express my situation and feelings to everyone, i feel so much better than i have been before.

Chaos, i'm sorry you had to go through a really bad time at work, it's really hard to have to deal with this situation. It's hard enough to have to come to work sometimes without having to worry how you'll be treated by others and/or management isn't it? I really hope that you are keeping well .

Martin

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Old 28-08-2008, 05:14 PM   #5
Chrissyann
 
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I'm chuffed the meeting went went =o) Maybe this is the first step in the right direction? You've stood up for how you're feeling, and complained about the way you've been treated.... and once you've done that once, you'll have the confidence to do similar things again. Obviously, I hope that you experience nothing like what you have done again... but there are times in life where you need to stand up for what you believe.... and this has been your practise! =o) Well done again mate!

Take care
Chrissy
xxx

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Old 28-08-2008, 07:17 PM   #6
Traydor
 

Thank you Chrissy, i can tell you that it definitely was a learning experience. It's a pity that most valuable lessons are learnt the hard way (at least this is what I've come to learn).

Martin

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Old 30-08-2008, 09:11 PM   #7
Queer Fringe
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Glad to hear the meeting went well, I wish you the best for the future at your work xx



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The history of the world, my love --
Is those below serving those up above!
How gratifying for once to know
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