Hey, I was just wondering if you guys could pray for me, I'm off to camp in a few days with a girl who i used to be great friends with, we booked to go when we got on really well, recently we just haven't spoken and it's a bit awkward as i'm going with her and three of her friends. I've tried to call her/text her but she hasn't answered. She has also lost her way a bit with her fiath so prays would all be appreciated lots thanks everyone!
'The nights of crying your eyes out give way to the days of laughter' Psalm 30 v 5
well, here goes, i guess.
i've been a bit of an idiot, lately. but it's...different, than usual. i suppose what i mean is i've been getting rebellious, with god. and normally, well, i'd have been a mess within a day or two. but today, (and it's been a month or so, at least), even when i found myself wanting to inflict damage on myself in various ways (cut and starve myself, really), I also didn't want to. I had enough presence of mind to realize that I was being a complete idiot and there was no reason to ruin EVERYTHING. and then came the part where i was suddenly sitting down, on the floor, because god decided to talk to me. actually, he said he was proud of me. for all of it. i don't think i've been so confused in a long time. i mean, he wasn't happy about my means or anything but...
he told me he's been waiting a long time for me to heal to this point, to the point where i actually cared about myself somewhat, where i actually believed i could deserve some sort of happiness in my life. that up until now, what i really had wanted had been all about perpetuating my father's abuse. it had been about sumbitting to god in order to crush down my spirit, actually...debasing myself, because i believed it was who i was, what i deserved. that if i decide to let god in now i wouldn't be doing it out of a twisted sense of reality, of thinking i deserved whatever pain i would get or wanting to crush my individuality or...whatever. that the fact that i had been rebellious, while THAT wasn't what he was happy about, but the fact that i had clearly thought of myself and my well-being for once and wasn't just trying to lose myself in following orders...he was happy about it. and now i'm really confused and wondering if i made it all up. but it feels true, somehow, the way it just does somehow when he says things, and i...oh, i don't know. it's just, i never realized exactly what i was doing until now, and now i do, and...arrgh, going to stop rambling now. but i needed to tell someone, or someones, i guess, see if you lot think i've finally gone insane.
aquatickitten god loves you no mater what. He is also verry good at hitting you over the head (figuratively) just to get your attention. Your not insane you just proved your sanity
Then wear the gold hat, if that will move her;
If you can bounce high, bounce for her too,
Till she cry "Lover, gold-hatted, high-bouncing lover,
I must have you!"
Thomas Parke D’Invilliers
Hi, i've just joined. i was born into a Christian family but it never quite made sense, and then a few years ago i was going through a bad time. i felt this need to go to church and went with my friend. haven't looked back since and was baptized this Easter.
but i feel it really puzzling why i need to harm myself - when i look back, i've been doing it ever since i can remember, but it's got worse. i don't want to do this but i don't know how to stop.
jude pray about it. Do you have something to do instead of cut? Do you have a net of people to support you? Can you talk to them about si?
Then wear the gold hat, if that will move her;
If you can bounce high, bounce for her too,
Till she cry "Lover, gold-hatted, high-bouncing lover,
I must have you!"
Thomas Parke D’Invilliers
woo! i've just found this thread, it seems really cool so far. So just some info about me: i was brought up Catholic, but never really payed attention to anything, i knew God was up there somewhere but I just didn't really care. Until i was 11 and i got really doubtful, but then when i remembered why i believed in God in the first place, i became even stronger in my faith, especially when i became depressed and God was the only one i could depend on. And now the only reason i'm still here is because of him.
Anyways, this thread it really cool. I hope it continues, it should be sticky-ed.
*..life in pain.. *-my older sis; Sweetest Downfall-my jellybean; greenspot-my cousin; TokioPanik!-my TokioHotelTwin; darkdestiny-my pet monkey; I-Feel-Infinate-my gerbil; frombullets2black-my llama; livingnotbreathing-my fellow spy; UnsureOne-my pet goldfish; xXxHis_fallen_angelxXx-my pet monkey; ashy_ashy18-my sister; Aryn is my fellow ninja and partner in crime
Apocalyptic and insane, but my dreams will never change
Then wear the gold hat, if that will move her;
If you can bounce high, bounce for her too,
Till she cry "Lover, gold-hatted, high-bouncing lover,
I must have you!"
Thomas Parke D’Invilliers
I threw away my last 'tool' a month ago and I havent cut for 11months on saturday!
wow way to go *deepest*regrets* Go god
Then wear the gold hat, if that will move her;
If you can bounce high, bounce for her too,
Till she cry "Lover, gold-hatted, high-bouncing lover,
I must have you!"
Thomas Parke D’Invilliers
Then wear the gold hat, if that will move her;
If you can bounce high, bounce for her too,
Till she cry "Lover, gold-hatted, high-bouncing lover,
I must have you!"
Thomas Parke D’Invilliers
Good.
God is amazing, and He's doing so much in my life.
It's definitely uncomfortable allowing Him to have His way with me like this... but it's all for good.
The second week I was gone I was a counselor at camp.
I had a really cool opportunity to minister to and serve a group of 10 year old girls. Pretty cool.
and... I move out one week from today [august 21st]. I've never moved at all, and now I'm leaving for school... I'm not emotionally dealing with it well, so I could really use some prayers that I'll adjust well, make friends, find a good church family etc.
Pretty awesome.
10 year old girls *shudder* Ill pray for you about school.
Then wear the gold hat, if that will move her;
If you can bounce high, bounce for her too,
Till she cry "Lover, gold-hatted, high-bouncing lover,
I must have you!"
Thomas Parke D’Invilliers
This is so awesome that we have a christian thread. I was saved when i was 5 and have been very involved in my Baptist church all my life. I believe in God with all my heart and when I'm close to Him i do the best in overcoming my addictions and problems. He's always there to guide me and help. In September I'm off to a Christian college and plan to follow God my whole life, I know that I can get better through Him.