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Old 15-10-2020, 03:01 PM   #1
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Not liking the holidays anymore like I used to

Anyone not like the holidays as much as they used to? For the most part, it is all four holidays but Thanksgiving and Christmas are my least favorite due to forced family interactions and people just generally get stressed out more. For Halloween and New Years, everyone kind of does their own thing so I'm okay, but for Thanksgiving and Christmas, it seems like a lot of families force their interactions with others while secretly wishing they were not with anyone or didn't have company. Not just my family, but even other people's families. I'll hear people mention how they are traveling to someone else's house or having people over at their house and they will sound really annoyed by it and some will even admit that they really don't want to.

I know one of my friend's parents get stressed anytime they are having people over. My friend has told me that her parents have even gotten into arguments about what they need to do to prepare for company. And I've seen her mother get very mad when the day starts to get closer to whenever they are expecting others to arrive. Same for my coworkers and even my own parents. They will state what the plans are in a very annoyed tone and some of them will even admit to wishing their company will leave as soon as they arrive. I will admit, I'm that way too.

I don't like a house full of people but since I'm with my parents, I have to just deal with it. But when company is at the house, I will admit that I secretly wish they would just leave even after just a day of them being there. My parents have admitted that as well to each other. Same for decorating for the holidays, people get so stressed out and mad when it comes to decorating even though it is not necessary. I've seen people, not just my family, get into full blown arguments and screaming matches over decorating. I don't understand that because it is not necessary. When I move out, I will not decorate at all. People just seem to stress themselves out over stuff that isn't necessary.

It could be having company over when they could have easily not invited anyone or when it comes to decorating. Even buying gifts can be forced. I've heard people mention who they have to get gifts for and they will admit that they really don't want to but they have to. It is all forced and that's why I not longer like the holidays anymore like I did as a kid. For Halloween, it is not so bad, people just do their own thing, and even New Years is not too bad either. Even Easter is more relaxed as well. Thanksgiving and Christmas has become my least favorite times of the year. I don't understand why people feel the need to force interactions with family members if they really don't want to be bothered or can't handle it due to the stress. They put themselves through stress when it's not necessary. Anyone else dislike the holidays and the forced interactions as well? Just wondered what your thoughts were.

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Old 18-10-2020, 02:21 PM   #2
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You're not the only one. I find Christmas very forced, like we have to celebrate it because our society expects us to and then there's a lot of pressure to have fun, to get along, to buy presents.

I think if more people admitted to not wanting to celebrate Christmas then it would make things a lot easier, or maybe to choose a different way to celebrate instead.

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Old 19-10-2020, 02:56 PM   #3
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You're not the only one. I find Christmas very forced, like we have to celebrate it because our society expects us to and then there's a lot of pressure to have fun, to get along, to buy presents.

I think if more people admitted to not wanting to celebrate Christmas then it would make things a lot easier, or maybe to choose a different way to celebrate instead.
I totally agree! People seem to think they have to celebrate and have fun with others they rather not see. Most people probably prefer to be alone, with intermediate family, or even other friends rather than be with just family, both intermediate and extended. And most people definitely would most likely prefer to not have any company. I agree that if more people admitted to not wanting to celebrate, things would be easier. People would be happier and may even find better ways to celebrate. Most likely with friends. Or if they do celebrate with family, it would only be intermediate family members, not extended. The holidays, mainly Thanksgiving and Christmas, really seem to bring out the worst in others. All interactions are forced.

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Old 19-10-2020, 03:00 PM   #4
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I was never a huge fan of Christmas until I had a child.
Watching her get caught up in all the magic of it all really helped me enjoy it more.

BUT I do agree it can be very forced
I like being alone most of the time and I find spending too much time with my family quite draining. Luckily my family understand this but not everyone does



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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Old 19-10-2020, 04:33 PM   #5
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I was never a huge fan of Christmas until I had a child.
Watching her get caught up in all the magic of it all really helped me enjoy it more.

BUT I do agree it can be very forced
I like being alone most of the time and I find spending too much time with my family quite draining. Luckily my family understand this but not everyone does
Yeah Iím sure having kids help. And yeah, having family around is draining and forced. Even putting up decorations is forced. Iíve seen people have outrageous screaming matches and overall anger outbursts over it. Not just in my family, but other families too. I once saw mu friendís mom get so angry she started throwing stuff. All over decorations. People put it on themselves when they donít have too.

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Old 19-10-2020, 05:09 PM   #6
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I haven't decorated my house for Christmas for the last three years now. Living on my own kinda made me realise it just wasn't worth the effort!

I would prefer to just get together with family and have a nice meal. We've never done Christmas in a big way anyway and there aren't any children to make the effort for.

Luckily Thanksgiving isn't a thing here and I don't count Halloween or New Year as holidays, like you said, it's more acceptable to choose not to celebrate those anyway.

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Old 19-10-2020, 05:16 PM   #7
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I don't decorate my house for Christmas either
My daughter likes to do it at my mum's but they don't go crazy with it
We usually just do present opening, have a nice family meal, sometimes go to the pub for a drink (which probably won't be happening this year due to the Rona) and attempt to play a game before we realise it's **** and watch some crap TV/clean up after dinner.



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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Old 19-10-2020, 05:52 PM   #8
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I haven't decorated my house for Christmas for the last three years now. Living on my own kinda made me realise it just wasn't worth the effort!

I would prefer to just get together with family and have a nice meal. We've never done Christmas in a big way anyway and there aren't any children to make the effort for.

Luckily Thanksgiving isn't a thing here and I don't count Halloween or New Year as holidays, like you said, it's more acceptable to choose not to celebrate those anyway.
Yep I agree! My parents are starting to not decorate as much. They still do, but not as much effort which I totally accept. I think it causes too much stress. And yeah having just a nice meal and no kids around is nicer. And yeah I donít really count Halloween and New Years as well even though they are relatively close. It is easier to not celebrate those.

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Old 19-10-2020, 05:53 PM   #9
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I don't decorate my house for Christmas either
My daughter likes to do it at my mum's but they don't go crazy with it
We usually just do present opening, have a nice family meal, sometimes go to the pub for a drink (which probably won't be happening this year due to the Rona) and attempt to play a game before we realise it's **** and watch some crap TV/clean up after dinner.
Thatís good they donít go crazy. It is just adding unnecessary stress. Especially with lights.

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Old 21-10-2020, 10:59 AM   #10
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Christmas used to be great all those years ago, i used to feel joy from wrapping presents and my depression worsened and christmas lost its spirit and nowthose three days of the year when everyone goes wild except me and too much stress.



Have you ever confused a dream with life? Or stolen something when you have the cash? Have you ever been blue? Or thought your train moving while sitting still? Maybe I was just crazy. Maybe it was the 60's. Or maybe I was just a girl... interrupted.
I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside. I tried groups, didn't work out just made my depression a lot worse.

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Old 21-10-2020, 02:58 PM   #11
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Christmas used to be great all those years ago, i used to feel joy from wrapping presents and my depression worsened and christmas lost its spirit and nowthose three days of the year when everyone goes wild except me and too much stress.
Aw I'm sorry about your depression. I can see how that can cause too much stress for you. I am the same way, I used to love Christmas when I was a kid. The music, having company over still bothered me but it was more tolerable, opening gifts, and the general atmosphere just seemed happier. I think it is because I was a kid so I was more blind to the drama behind the scenes. Now, I hate it. Although I do like the food during Thanksgiving and there are only a handful of Christmas songs, like less than five of them, that I still like to listen to. But otherwise, I hate the holidays. It is not joyful anymore. :hugs:


Last edited by Reminiscer : 21-10-2020 at 03:05 PM.
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Old 21-10-2020, 09:32 PM   #12
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Relatives can be a test!


But then there is this...


Happy Trafalger Day! (today Oct 21)


https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trafalgar_Day



"Not all those who wander are lost" Tolkien

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Old 21-10-2020, 09:34 PM   #13
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Happy trafalgar day Isoverity!!



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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Old 21-10-2020, 10:03 PM   #14
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For a moment i misread that as 'toblerone day' which made me quite happy and excited. An entire day dedicated to the wonderful chocolate triangle with yummy stuff incorporated into it. But then i read it right and realised it is about a sea battle. To say i am disappointed is an understatement

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Old 22-10-2020, 06:59 PM   #15
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Relatives can be a test!


But then there is this...


Happy Trafalger Day! (today Oct 21)


https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trafalgar_Day
Yep I totally agree, they are a test! One thing Iíve learned is that just because you are family doesnít mean you are close to them or even like them.

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Old 23-10-2020, 03:59 AM   #16
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Yep I totally agree, they are a test! One thing Iíve learned is that just because you are family doesnít mean you are close to them or even like them.

A lot of them are oblivious to what they do/say - its conditioinng. Here's the rub...when they provoke you, its often from the unconscious/conditoned part of themselves that they are unaware of. A part of them wants you to upset you becasue then they can discount you. If people remin patient and calm under temptation (to resent) it throws up a contrast and screws with the head of the tempters. The funny thing is that some of the tempters will respect that and start to see what it right with you. Life is about undercurrents and relfections



"Not all those who wander are lost" Tolkien

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Old 23-10-2020, 04:04 AM   #17
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Happy trafalgar day Isoverity!!

Danke!



"Not all those who wander are lost" Tolkien

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Old 23-10-2020, 03:06 PM   #18
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A lot of them are oblivious to what they do/say - its conditioinng. Here's the rub...when they provoke you, its often from the unconscious/conditoned part of themselves that they are unaware of. A part of them wants you to upset you becasue then they can discount you. If people remin patient and calm under temptation (to resent) it throws up a contrast and screws with the head of the tempters. The funny thing is that some of the tempters will respect that and start to see what it right with you. Life is about undercurrents and relfections
Yeah that makes sense. It actually does seem like they subconciously want to upset you. The goal is to not let them get to you.

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Old 25-10-2020, 11:40 AM   #19
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The main positive of the holidays is that I don’t have turn up anywhere and I feel relieved.



Have you ever confused a dream with life? Or stolen something when you have the cash? Have you ever been blue? Or thought your train moving while sitting still? Maybe I was just crazy. Maybe it was the 60's. Or maybe I was just a girl... interrupted.
I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside. I tried groups, didn't work out just made my depression a lot worse.

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Old 25-10-2020, 05:53 PM   #20
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The main positive of the holidays is that I donít have turn up anywhere and I feel relieved.
That is lifetime goals right there. Not having to go anywhere. And I will admit, as much as I dislike being with family, if I absolutely had to choose, I'd rather have them make the trip to visit than me making the trip. I absolutely hate traveling, especially long distances.

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