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Old 23-04-2007, 04:49 PM   #1
august baby
 
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This might seem like a stupid question, but how does your eating challenges affect the people around you? Are they coping okay?

Because I know that the people in my life have good intentions and stuff, but it's clear that they're becoming frustrated. The guys from work are always trying to be helpful and encourage me to be healthier, but they don't understand and it just seems to them that I'm stubborn and ignoring them. My family are generally accepting (in the way that they're used to it) but I just feel awful when they try so hard and spend extra money to make sure there's stuff that I can actually eat, and then I still can't do it.

I'm totally grateful to have people who care, don't get me wrong. But I hate the pressure this is putting on my relationships, and I feel really guilty, and that makes everything worse.

Is this just to be expected?

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Old 23-04-2007, 04:57 PM   #2
felix felicis
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My friends don't know about it, so they're obvlious but my mum watches me when i eat, and when i say i have a headache or im cold, she tells me that i need to eat... It can be fustrating, but i suppose she just want's me to be okay? When she first found out she was really really upset though.




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Old 23-04-2007, 08:49 PM   #3
-Tough-Cookie-
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My dad keeps buying cakes for me... big chocolate cakes... he thinks hes helping... all hes doing is wasting the money n making me feel bad worse (i'd never eat it...not any time soon atleast)

My partners really understanding though and wil do just about anything to ensure i eat - if i say 'oh i fancy this' well usualy go an have it...bless him.


Last edited by -Tough-Cookie- : 04-06-2007 at 12:18 PM.


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Old 24-04-2007, 09:07 AM   #4
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My parents don't even notice and my friend knows but I try not to say anything anymore cos she has enough problems of her own to worry about.

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Old 03-05-2007, 08:42 AM   #5
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My family have always been sheltered from it but now I am living with them full time I am getting lots of weight related comment's.

I think it can be expected if people don't know what's going on with you and are worried. Sometimes educating people about it all is useful but it does mean you have to put yourself out there and admit what is going on?




When we lose twenty pounds... we may be losing the twenty best pounds we have! We may be losing the pounds that contain our genius, our humanity, our love and honesty. ~Woody Allen
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Old 04-06-2007, 11:57 AM   #6
Keep Smiling
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i can see that at certain times my ED puts alot of strain on relationships etc and i think it is to be expected,, the people who we are close to only want the best for us and to see us basically killing ourselves must be torment for them.

i wish i could see it from their persepective sometimes *shrug*

help the people around you understand,, the more they know about how you want to be treated etc the more they will feel at ease around you.

lucy.
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Old 04-06-2007, 12:12 PM   #7
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my girlfriend hates me thinking im fat.. she sometimes gets in little stresses but always says sorry to me.. i tell her she doesnt have to cos its my faltXX

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Old 04-06-2007, 06:31 PM   #8
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I know my mum worries a bit, and nags me to eat sometimes.
But only occasionally coz she knows that her moaning at me will just make me feel like not eating anything at all.
I know she worries sometimes but.. i can't help it.
But she doesn't even know the half of it so.. i dunno.

Ali xox




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Old 05-06-2007, 08:13 PM   #9
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The one friend who knows gets stressed sometimes I think.
Like he'll tell me I'm stupid for not eating.
But otherwise people don't know/don't notice.






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Old 06-06-2007, 03:27 AM   #10
ashlee_118
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My family dont know only comment on when i dont eat but then i often dont go out with them cause i know ill have to eat and i can see how much it hurts them they think they r the reason im not going out with them but i just cant tell them. my friends r the same. one friend i know i have hurt big time she hates seeing me do this and i hate that im hurting her but i cant help it, so yeah my relatioships have gone downhill cause of the ED and it kinda sux

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Old 06-06-2007, 06:16 AM   #11
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My boyfriend Brandon and my best friend Carey are the only two in my like that are very supportive of me, without or with the ED... of course both prefering without. I hate that it upsets them because they are scared that ana is going to win the fight. They both get a bit frustrated at times, but get through it. But they both know I am fighting for my life so I can be a best friend and a girlfriend/future wife for many many years.





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Old 06-06-2007, 06:44 AM   #12
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My mom and gramma know as well as a few friends...i don't know if any of the rest of my family knows for sure though. In my family, problems of any kind are not discussed at all so no one really talks about it at all and never really brings it up. My gramma is the one who usually brings it up but she has been like my real mom since i was little so i know she cares and worries about it. but my friends don't mention it either so i don't know how they are doing with it. my one friend brings it up when we talk, which isn't often, because she has an ED too so we try and support each other but also keep our distance so we don't trigger each other...its good though. i wish people would talk about it more though because it's hard for me to tell if they care at all or not if they say or do nothing. maybe that's just me though, idk

sammi

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Old 06-06-2007, 10:41 AM   #13
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At first, it really messed up our relationship. They didn't understand why I was doing it, and they started to blame themselves. Because I was so ill, it caused arguments, and in a sense, they did make it worse, but that was because they didn't know how to cope with it.
However, at the moment, things are okay, things are much more out in the open, but I do find it hard to tell them how i'm feeling, because I get a sense that they think it's "stuiped" but anyone would if they didn't know what it was like, I guess.
I have to be honest, I do eat for them, and i'm trying to keep well for them. If I was on my own, heaven forbid what would happen, but that's something I can't think about at the moment. I have to think about the present, not the future, things might be better but then, hey?

xx



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