Triggering (Abuse) - misunderstood emotional abuse

change · 10-06-2007, 01:04 AM

Why don't people understand. I was emotionally abused until i left home at 16.

But everyone and especially painfullly my boyfriend thinks that it wasn't a big deal, and thinks im making a fuss about nothing. Why don't people understand that its the emotional abuse that hurts people the most, and of course is made wors when sexual or physical abuse is involved. But why don't they see? Being threatened by your mother that she'd kill you, being constantly put down, screamed at, told you're not good enough. Can't they see that that hurts? I need a boyfriend who understands that, it hurts so much that mine doesnt understand. But im so reliant on him, im so afraid that i wont find better. Maybe if i cut myself he'd see the pain, but then he'd just think im bein a stupid emo, and he'd leave me. oh what do i do? I'm only 18 im not strong enough to do this on my own

helper1218 · 10-06-2007, 04:27 AM

Aw honey, people really don't understand how bad words can hurt, especially from a mom or dad. There's a good book on lots of kinds of abuse, and a good chapter on emotional and recovery. It's call Toxic Parents by Susan Forward. Maybe if you read it and show your boyfriend some parts it can help you and make him understand better. *hugs* You're not being emo, this is valid pain. And you can do it, just tell yourself you can and you can. *more hugs* Feel better sweetie.

Stellata · 10-06-2007, 10:36 AM

It hurts. It really does hurt. I understand. It is a big deal.

There are some links to good articles about Emotional Abuse and its effects etc in my RYL Journal.

Nici-x · 10-06-2007, 01:36 PM

Babe emotional abuse is awful.. My father has been emotionally and physically abusive to me all my life, and still is. I honestly think emotional abuse is worse than physical. At times when he was saying the things he says, i wanted him to just punch me or hurt me.. anythin but say the things he was saying,, because they damaged me, they stick with you for the rest of your life.
People don't understand how awful emotional abuse is. If they have not been the victims of it themself, then they cant understand.
I hope your ok, and if you ever need to talk pm me anytime
x x x

bloodletting · 11-06-2007, 08:46 AM

hey sweetie, i guess it is hard for ppl to understand why being put down and yelled can have such a long lasting inpact on your life. i think one of the things that hurts the most is that it is the ppl who are supposed to love us and protect that are doing. you parents are supposed to be the ones who you can go to when your down or have a problem and sadly for a lot of ppl they actually need saving from their parents...gee dont think im making much sense?
maybe its time you found a counsellor or someone you trust to talk to hun, its just gonna keep being hard if you dont.
talk any time you need hun xoxoxox

jlc2010 · 12-06-2007, 02:15 PM

i kno how u feel. emotional abuse can actually b more harmful than physical abuse. the skin can heal in a few weeks or months, but the heart and soul may take years to recover. ive been emotionally abused for as long as i can remember, and im still am even though im trying to heal. and i guess ppl dont understand emotional abuse because they might not have been through it. they mock scars but they've never felt pain....