Ok, so ive got an appointment with the doctor for tuesday to see if i can get some help and im going to take my friend for support because she knows what im going through. that was a big step for me. so then i decided to tell my uncle last night about my depression and SI. now i wish i hadnt. all he kept saying was its something you bring on yourself, something you have to get over, and that i just need to get out (get a life basically) and that there are so many other people that have been through a lot more than me. i know that. i have known and thought that, thats why its taken me so long to try and get help because i dont feel i deserve it. he was just making me upset so i went away and phoned my friend, she made me feel better. i went back and got angry with what he'd said, so i followed him, showed him my cuts and said, 'so you dont think this is a problem then?' He didnt say much after that. just '...a bit extreme' or something like that. he doesnt underdtandwhy im taking my friend with me, and doesnt actually really know why im going to the doctors at all because he said, 'they'l just stick you on prozac, just hope you dont get addicted to them.' i had my say, i was angry (because i thought he would be more understanding) but i didnt shout. i tried to make him understand, but he doesnt. so i just said, 'im sorry, i shouldnt have told you' and went away. he obviously didnt see how hard that was for me to tell him. so so much for trying to reach out, wont be doing that again. so if he thinks im just going to snap out of my depression by going ou, hes so wrong, thats the reason i find it hard to go out, its all part of it for me. so is he right what he said? because i thought depression was an illness that isnt your fault and not just gotten over? sorry for the ramble its just he really got to me, because i thought i could count on him. and its bad enough worrying that the doctor's going to say theres nothing wrong (i know there is, because its not right) without worrying hes going to tell my mum or dad. i dont even think he believes im being genuine, but i dont know what to do, i'l just have to wait til tuesday to prove him wrong. i wish he cared about me, or any of them really, but ive got this far without them, im just used to it now. sorry again, thanks. x
People Who Laugh A Lot, Cry A Lot, Because It Only Takes One Smile To Hide A Million Tears...
Some days she feels like dying, she gets so sick of crying.
“Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.”
*Hugs*
I think your uncle just doesn't understand what you're going through, but it does not mean he doesn't care about you. I have friends who think depression, self harm and eating disorders are all something you bring on yourself and just basically have to decide one day to give up. They're wrong obviously! That's why i never talked to them about everything. But anyway. I think that it's fantastic that you decided to get help, well done :) You're a lot braver than i am. It's also great that you can count on your friend. And don't worry lovey, depression is an illness and a hard one at that, but it is treatable. You're going about it the right way!
First of all, I’m so sorry you have to go through this. I had the same trouble with my family. My sister still does not understand that it is a real condition, even after a year of being diagnosed.
There’s no need to apologize; this is a really hard feeling to have. But this is a REAL condition that takes REAL treatment to get over. There’s no “snapping out of it.” It’s a big step to go to a doctor, and I’m very proud of you. A doctor should take you seriously, especially if you SI, so don’t worry about that. And of course, if you feel this way, an antidepressant is probably a good thing for you. It’s good that you have a friend to support you; that can make a big difference.
I really don’t know how to deal with family members being terrible about depression. The only advice I’ve gotten is to not let it get to you, but that’s so difficult to do. If you feel you can confide in them then they must really mean something to you. If they blow it off, it makes you feel awful. I’m trying to build up barriers so they won’t hurt me so much, but that’s a hard thing to do.
I hope this helps and I really hope you feel better soon
PM me if you need anything,
Beth xxx
Thanks, im so glad that some people understand. I am getting worse and in some way im relieved that im getting help, and totally terrified at the same time lol! I have to wait till tuesday...it doesnt seem that far away, but to me it couldnt seem longer, i just want to get it over and done with now so they can tell me whats wrong with me...or whats not. as far as my uncle is concerned, im not going to bring this subject up again, apart from giving him a couple of websites with some information on (if anyone has any suggestions they ar much appreciated), just to try and help him understand. then i'll see what happens from there. Thanks again to both of you.
Much love,
Sophie
xxx
People Who Laugh A Lot, Cry A Lot, Because It Only Takes One Smile To Hide A Million Tears...
Some days she feels like dying, she gets so sick of crying.
“Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.”
