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Old 26-03-2020, 12:29 AM   #1
xlaurenx
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
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Starting to slip...

I can feel myself starting to slip...
The thoughts are back,they scare me. I try to distract myself music can help.. though they dont go away :(

I oded in Nov last year. I had a month off work with the plan to get support... it didnt happen. I had to find my own help. I looked at long term therapy in dec. I didnt get assessed by them until... feb. They said that the waiting list is how long is a piece of string. And the list is between 2 and 4 months.
Since.... Nov (the od) i only have crisis support...
Its coming up to 5 months without support and i am starting to slip :(
The urges to od wont stop.

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Old 26-03-2020, 09:31 AM   #2
one_step_closer
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I know urges can be scary and persistent but remember you don't have to act on them. Are you still able to access crisis support?





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Old 27-03-2020, 12:46 AM   #3
xlaurenx
 
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I am still able to Access crisis support but i have no regular support so to speak of.

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Old 27-03-2020, 01:07 AM   #4
Auror.
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Is it worth trying to speak to crisis and see if they can help figure out your options for more ongoing support?



You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.


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Old 27-03-2020, 01:23 AM   #5
Pomegranate
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I’m sorry things are difficult and appreciate how difficult it can be without regular support wS just wondering how you managed before the OD in November? What support did you have then?

Also, how are things going with work?

What kind of long term therapy are they looking at? Has anyone suggested dbt or similar to you before? Xx





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Old 27-03-2020, 02:49 AM   #6
xlaurenx
 
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Auror
It was crisis team who has said my ling term.option was therapy

Pomegranate
Well... the od was in nov. I was discharged from the cmht early oct. Eventhough i was given the option to stay on (worker was leaving so they said i could have another worker or be discharged) i said i wanted to stay on and it was declined by cmht. I told them my worries about 'crashing' again without there support. They has previously said they were keeping me on the books as the cmht was containing me.
So in oct for the last year or so i has cmht.
Works fine really enjoying it.
Cmht did some dbt work with me. It was basically long term work in relation to trauma and managing emotions. I would like to try dbt or something like that for managing emotions.

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Old 28-03-2020, 01:26 AM   #7
Pomegranate
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Just really quick message Lauren to say I got your message and not ignoring you but I need to clear my inbox before I can reply which I’ll do tomorrow or in the next couple of days ��

What kind of long term therapy did crisis suggest? I genuinely understand impact of lack of support but also how the emotions related to that can make it very difficult to rationalise thoughts around those intense emotions etc). Have you dug our your DBT stuff you did with your CPN? In no way am I saying that should be enough etc but it might help a little in the short term.

Anyway, going to try and sleep CIA my sleep is screwed atm lol, but will reply either on here or by PM tomorrow once I’ve deleted some old messages and freed some space x





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Old 28-03-2020, 01:28 AM   #8
Pomegranate
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Also just wanted to say- I appreciate you told them you were worried about crashing and probably didn’t feel unlistened to by their response and the conflicting information CMHT gave you. But sounds like you have done amazingly to get through that post discharge, or whatever it was, crash.

What kind of therapy or support do you think would help you in the SHORT term?





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Old 28-03-2020, 08:11 AM   #9
xlaurenx
 
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Crisis litrally said apparently the plan from discharge from.cmht was long term therapy.

I have dug out a few of the work booklets i has yes. But i still found it helpful to talk to someone who knew me and could have me rationalise things when i was finding things hard and to almost point me in the right directions in relation to dbt skills.

It doesnt feel like it though. In nov. I ended up in a and e and i was worried i would do something. So i went there. Spoke to crisis who said i needed to stay thwre and be assessed. I was given the option of admission or go home. I told them i didnt want admission. But backed out of telling them i did t feel i would be safe at home.

Left at 1am and by 08:30 that morning i was back there having oded. The team said everything was open including admission but i declined and then thats when the help should have started to take shape over the month but didnt.

The nurse who assessed me said i do fine for a while then i go into crisis then do fine for a while ( a while been 6 months plus). But when i was cmht i did have a couple of crisis. Worried i couldnt keep myself safe bit didnt actually act on the thoughts. As the time they scared me where as in nov i guess it was more 'fuck it type thing.
Short term just seeing someone often.

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Old 01-04-2020, 03:14 AM   #10
xlaurenx
 
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I have no idea what to do and feel very trapped by everything.

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Old 01-04-2020, 04:37 PM   #11
one_step_closer
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What things are making you feel trapped? You do have some control over things, even if it only makes a small difference.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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