Live Help


Forum Jump
Post New Thread  Reply
Old 27-09-2015, 11:17 AM   #1
RescueIsPossible
Halie
 
RescueIsPossible's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: USA
I am currently:
freaking out

whenever i get upset i kinda freak outand go off on everyone (like i just did in chat) i kinda just loose control. i hate that i do this. but at the same time when i get upset it just kinda happens. ive lost alot of frineds because of this. does anyone know how i can stop doing this

RescueIsPossible is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-10-2015, 07:02 PM   #2
Pi.R^2
I always have a choice
 
Pi.R^2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Safety Cupboard
I am currently:

Can you pinpoint any particular triggers that upset you and lead you to do things like this? The first step could be to be able to identify when this is about to happen and remove yourself from the situation and do something soothing instead until you feel ready to return to chat/other conversation.

Have you ever sought professional help for your difficulties?



We may not see eye to eye, but we can respect each other's opinions and find the truth in them.
Perhaps in those honest conversations, instead of demonising each other,
we might see each other as imperfect humans, doing our best. ~ Jodi Picoult


Pi.R^2 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 13-10-2015, 03:05 PM   #3
RescueIsPossible
Halie
 
RescueIsPossible's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: USA
I am currently:

yes i see a therapist and the main thing is feeling like im being ig nored

RescueIsPossible is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18-10-2015, 09:16 PM   #4
Pi.R^2
I always have a choice
 
Pi.R^2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Safety Cupboard
I am currently:

What sort of things make you feel like you're ignored? Do you mean in chat if no one responds to your comments? Maybe you could make a list of alternate explanations for this. I used to believe people hated me every time they didn't text me back, but over time I've learnt to trust that people don't hate me, and think of alternate explanations for their lack of reply.



We may not see eye to eye, but we can respect each other's opinions and find the truth in them.
Perhaps in those honest conversations, instead of demonising each other,
we might see each other as imperfect humans, doing our best. ~ Jodi Picoult


Pi.R^2 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 19-02-2016, 02:36 AM   #5
Isoverity
 
Isoverity's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
I am currently:

Sounds like someone probably used to upset you a lot. It was there way of "unloading" their excess toxic energy. We become like what we respond to and if people are often provoking us we can become provocative as well. However, people can know that is wrong and they suppress the hostility that builds until it pops up like a beachball.

Life is a bit of dog eat dog chain. A boss yells at a man - he goes home and yells at his wife - she yells at the kids - the kids kick the dog. A lot of self injure types are actually reluctant to take things out on others and they take it out on themselves



"Not all those who wander are lost" Tolkien

Isoverity is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 19-02-2016, 03:08 AM   #6
RescueIsPossible
Halie
 
RescueIsPossible's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: USA
I am currently:

My mom has always gone off on me a good bit. I posted this awhile back and since ive gotten alot better. Ive realized if i state what im feeling before it gets to going off point i do alot better. I also take it out on myself alot. I have alot of anger and take it out on those im closest to but as i said im getting better

RescueIsPossible is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 19-02-2016, 03:18 AM   #7
Isoverity
 
Isoverity's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
I am currently:

Quote:
Originally Posted by RescueIsPossible View Post
My mom has always gone off on me a good bit. I posted this awhile back and since ive gotten alot better. Ive realized if i state what im feeling before it gets to going off point i do alot better. I also take it out on myself alot. I have alot of anger and take it out on those im closest to but as i said im getting better

Its usually the mom who most people trace the most hostility back to. Dads tend to abdicate control and the moms are quick to tack it but get resentful at the same time.

People get conditioned responding to others - its the "law of emotional co-respondence". There's an old saying "hate your parents - hurt your kids". That's because parents can poison a kid and they pass it on. resenting a parent is very dangerous because there is a psychic bonding there and kids feel heightened self-loathing a guilt for resenting a parent - even if they deserve it.

To have a decent life its key to forgive parents. You never have to like or love them but you never want to hate/resent them. Not long ago they were kids with tears in their eyes once. As someone got to them they would get to you. When they provoke you they want to throw you an emotional hot potato. If you're patient and non-reactive they get stuck with the potato and either feel sorry or learn to leave you alone



"Not all those who wander are lost" Tolkien

Isoverity is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23-02-2016, 01:59 AM   #8
PassedExpectations
a mirror that reflects it
 
PassedExpectations's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Upstate New York
I am currently:

You've already identified a problematic situation (feeling ignored) and an alternative solution (communicating how you're feeling before you lose control)... thats awesome! just getting to the point where it is possible to do that takes a lot of effort, so many kudos are in order.

are there other situations that you find difficult? perhaps you could brainstorm some alternative responses to them... You mentioned that you tend to take your anger out on yourself a lot of the time. Maybe figuring out an adaptive way to deal with anger would be helpful for you.




this is my magical medicine cabinet. Left to right they contain: courage, hope, calmness, and strength.

The magical part: They NEVER run out, so borrow some any time you want.



PM me anytime, I love getting messages :)
Katie


PassedExpectations is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23-02-2016, 02:12 AM   #9
RescueIsPossible
Halie
 
RescueIsPossible's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: USA
I am currently:

Yeah ive been working on that alot. Whenever anyone around me is angry i tend to get angry as well but not sure why

RescueIsPossible is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Members Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Censor is OFF
Forum Jump


Sea Pink Aroma
All times are GMT +1. The time now is 10:00 PM.