Originally Posted by RescueIsPossible
My mom has always gone off on me a good bit. I posted this awhile back and since ive gotten alot better. Ive realized if i state what im feeling before it gets to going off point i do alot better. I also take it out on myself alot. I have alot of anger and take it out on those im closest to but as i said im getting better
Its usually the mom who most people trace the most hostility back to. Dads tend to abdicate control and the moms are quick to tack it but get resentful at the same time.
People get conditioned responding to others - its the "law of emotional co-respondence". There's an old saying "hate your parents - hurt your kids". That's because parents can poison a kid and they pass it on. resenting a parent is very dangerous because there is a psychic bonding there and kids feel heightened self-loathing a guilt for resenting a parent - even if they deserve it.
To have a decent life its key to forgive parents. You never have to like or love them but you never want to hate/resent them. Not long ago they were kids with tears in their eyes once. As someone got to them they would get to you. When they provoke you they want to throw you an emotional hot potato. If you're patient and non-reactive they get stuck with the potato and either feel sorry or learn to leave you alone