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Old 07-03-2016, 10:09 PM   #1
Charmed
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Hi, I'm sorry to make another thread. I didn't know where to put this.

I was hurt by someone and I keep seeing them. I'm really scared. They keep following me. They've been in my house in my room. Sometimes they just follow me quietly sometimes they speak. They haven't touched me yet. I say they but its only one person. I'm really scared and confused. I have PTSD and people say the person isn't there. Sometimes I believe them but sometimes it's so real I know they are there. It's not a flashback. It's different. I know what a flashback is. Is this normal? What if it is real? I don't know what's real or not. I feel like I'm losing my mind. I don't know what to do. Is this part of PTSD? I can't take this anymore I'm just developing more crap and being even more insane. This can't happen it must be real there's no other option.

Does anyone else see someone? See someone that's hurt them? Or see something that's not real because of PTSD? What if I'm losing my mind? I need to know what's real and what's not. I can't handle the things that aren't real. Everything should be real. That's what's normal. I don't know what to do. I'm sorry I don't mean to post and woe and crap but if has experienced similar I'd super appreciate just letting me know it's okay. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.




Have you ever looked fear in the face and said "I just don't care"?


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Old 07-03-2016, 10:36 PM   #2
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Hey just wanted you to know your not alone, I too have see the person who hurt me back as a child on many occasions, it's really scary and seems so real, it's hard to deal with, I did finally stop seeing that person when I worked on what happened with my counsellor, and CPN with the dual diagnosis team, I thought I'd already dealt with it, but I clearly hadn't, I hadn't finished dragging it all through my head, every last dirty little secret, I opened up, I poured my heart out about every last feeling about it that was bothering me, and since that day, finally he's stopped haunting me, I tried so hard for so many years to hide it, or at least the dirty bits that were really hurting me, and driving me mad, because I thought it'd scare other people away, in fact, their still there, supporting me, and I've never felt more comfortable, their people I have more trust in than anyone.

If you need to talk about it and haven't already done so, please find someone you can really trust, it could take seeing multiple counsellors until you find someone you trust, but believe me, this can get better, I never used to believe it could, and by the time I'd finished, I felt sick, I wanted to be sick, but I actually didn't need to, and I felt relief, massive relief compared to what I'd ever felt.

We're here and yes this is a normal response to what happened to you, I don't have PTSD, so can't comment on the association with it, however I do have Borderline Personality Disorder, and ADHD, and I know my thoughts and unreal visions did have an impact on my conditions, but the condition is not the cause.

I really hope you finally let go, and find peace from the scary thoughts and unreal visions, *hugs* :)





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Old 08-03-2016, 11:12 PM   #3
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This sounds really frightening sweet and it sounds like something you should feed back to your doctor/team. I don't have PTSD myself so this has never happened to me but it sounds like something that could be a symptom of this.

If other people don't see the person, that probably means they aren't there and you're safe. Would writing down logical arguments like that help so you have them there to remind you when things feel real?





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Old 09-03-2016, 07:14 PM   #4
Charmed
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Thank you all so much for your replies, I really appreciate you all reading and replying.

Thank you for your reply Stumpy, I'm really sorry you have experienced things similar but you have no idea how much it means to me that I'm not completely alone. I haven't really dealt with the trauma, so I'm assuming this is why it's just getting worse and maybe I'm projecting my fears into real life? I'm struggling to understand why this is happening, because I don't 'see' anything else and I'm so completely convinced this person is real when I see them, it's only after much convincing afterwards I realise they may not have actually been there. But this is taking longer and is harder each time.I've spoken to a friend about the trauma and I mentioned I saw the person who hurt me, but she seemed more concerned than I originally was and now I'm more worried.

Carmen, thank you so much for your reply I really appreciate it. It could be possible its flashback/dissociation, do you think that's more likely? I don't even know. It doesnt feel like a flashback, because I know where I am, I'm nt in the past, and i'm unsure if its dissociation because I remember it, when I'm dissociated I don't often remember. I've tried grounding things, they don't overly help, although this might be because I'm too scared to try harder, so I will ry them more and see if that helps thank you. I am more stressed/anxious I never thought abou that that could be a reason thank you. I've asked a few times if anyone could see them and they said no, so that was reassuring that he wasnt there, but worried me that im going crazy. i dont have a pet but gaging peoples reactions is a good idea thank you.

I need to tell my team but i'm really scared. it's also quite confusing right now an i dont know who im supposed to tell. does anyone think this is psychosis? because i dont think i could handle it if it was. im hoping its another symptom of PTSD but when i google it comes up with PTSD with psychosis and i dont have psychosis and now im scared. sorry i know this is long and hard to follow.

Ali, thank you for your reply. thank you for saying it could be a symptom of PTSD, i'm really hoping it is. ive written down a sheet type thing that tells me no one is tehre and im safe etc. i might put it on my wall or make a card i can carry with me. thank you for your suggestion.

Sorry this is really long and probably really confusing. My head has gone a bit crazy. thank you all for replying. I really appreciate it.




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Old 10-03-2016, 06:03 PM   #5
Charmed
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Thanks Carmen. Sorry I know you can't say I'm
Not sure why I asked. I'll try and write it down. I don't even know when I'm
Next seeing someone I need to ring them. I'm too pathetic.

Thank you for telling me what you experienced, I'm sorry though that sounds really difficult. But that's quite reassuring. Maybe it's a physical thing? I don't know my MH is pretty bad right now so maybe it's just everything together is too much and stuff. I hope it's maybe a medical thing not psych. Thank you so much. I'll try and ring someone tomorrow. Thank you.




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Old 10-03-2016, 07:29 PM   #6
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I just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you. I hope you manage to ring someone tomorrow. You don't deserve to be going through this alone.



“Our defeats are softened and our victories are sweetened because we did it together.” - Toby Ziegler.

This isn't everything you are.


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Old 12-03-2016, 12:31 AM   #7
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Hey lovely, I'm no help with this I'm afraid, but I wanted to leave you some love and support. Did you manage to call someone? You deserve help <3



"I know you're sad, so I won't tell you to have a good day. Instead, I advise you to simply have a day.
Stay alive, feed yourself well, wear comfortable clothes, and don't give up on yourself just yet.
It'll get better. Until then, have a day."


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Old 14-03-2016, 03:40 PM   #8
Charmed
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Thank you both. I really appreciate your support.

No I haven't called them yet Hannah I struggling to know what to say and feel ridiculous. My friend came and she knows I can see someone sometimes and apparently it's obvious when I can see him and I feel like a freak. But it was reassuring that she couldn't see him either. Sorry thanks :)




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Old 14-03-2016, 03:46 PM   #9
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Hey Hannah.


You're not a freak. I know it's hard. I was hearing people I can't see in my CC appointment last week and she knew. It feels horrible, but honestly, it doesn't mean you are anything other than lovely. I'm glad that you were reassured that she couldn't see him.


You don't need to apologise. I'm so pleased that you feel able to post here. You deserve to be heard.



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Old 15-03-2016, 09:32 PM   #10
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You are not a freak in any way. You're just dealing with a lot of difficult stuff, and I think you're managing really well. You are not ridiculous, and you are so deserving of help. I hope that you are able to reach out for help with this. I'm glad your friend is so supportive :)



"I know you're sad, so I won't tell you to have a good day. Instead, I advise you to simply have a day.
Stay alive, feed yourself well, wear comfortable clothes, and don't give up on yourself just yet.
It'll get better. Until then, have a day."


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Old 18-03-2016, 09:23 AM   #11
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Hi Charmed,

I have had something happen that I think sounds like what you're describing. I was in hospital with a physical injury and the treatment felt a lot like something that happened to me before so I was basically perpetually triggered. Then I started seeing the person who did it to me before.. not during the treatment but before it and afterwards. It was different to a flashback though like you say. I felt like I was fully in the present except that this person was there. Anyway after I left hospital, it stopped so I kind of put it down to stress. I don't know if this helps at all. It was really scary so I feel for you.

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Old 19-03-2016, 09:36 AM   #12
Charmed
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Thanks so much for your reply Briar. I'm sorry you've been through similar things, that sounds very scary indeed. But it sounds very much like what I've experienced and I'm glad this isn't totally abnormal. The first time was also when I was in hospital and I just saw him staring in the distance. But it's got worse since then and I see him everyday and sometimes he talks to me. He hasn't done anything to me yet though, unless in a flashback. I'm glad you can understand it's different to a flashback also. It also might be stress. I don't know. I'm having a lot more memories and flashbacks and I don't know what's real or what happened anymore.

Thank you Hannah and Ducky. Sorry I don't mean to insinuate anyone is a freak or anything I really didn't my mean that I'm sorry. Thank you for your kind words. My friend came agin. My psych rang me and I have another CPN but she doesn't start until a few weeks. I haven't told my psych yet. Im going to try and ring my GP on Monday and see if I can mention something to him.

Thank you all for your support. I'm sorry to keep whining.




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