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Old 21-06-2018, 09:20 PM   #1
Fred!
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Referral - so very scared

Hey,

My eating problems haven't been a huge issue in the past but now my brain is ramping up the volume and I am struggling to eat, and losing weight fast. I eat every day but it hurts my stomach and my head so it's a limited amount.

A few weeks ago I told my GP it was getting worse again, and last week I ODd because I'd eaten too much :( and now she's doing a referral to the local ED service. I'm scared because my previous dealings with MH services have gone horribly wrong, causing me to OD and SH very regularly. I'd got the ODing fairly under control and I'm now scared that all this will start it up again.

I'm scared of eating, but also scared to not eat because I know I'll pass out.

My anxiety is sky high right now, and I have no motivation to do things. I've got some friends who know what's going on but I haven't told my parents that I'm getting referred. I live with them and they know that I'm not eating much but I'm definitely not ready to tell them about the referral :/

I'm not really sure why I'm posting. Just feel free to ignore me x



Death is one moment, and life is so many of them.

Don't look forward to the day you stop suffering, because when it comes you'll know you're dead.

~ Tennessee Williams


I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad,
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had.


I'm actually a girl. My nickname was given by a friend and stuck ;)

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Old 21-06-2018, 10:06 PM   #2
nonperson
 
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Well done for going to your GP and recognising that you need some help.

Try to remember you might not have the same experience with MH services as last time. Be honest with them about the problems it caused you in the past and they will be able to help you avoid it happening again.

Do you think you'll tell your parents eventually? You don't have to tell them straight away and it's good you do have friends that know what's going on, but if they know you're not eating much they might suspect what is happening anyway. It might be helpful to have the people you live with know what is happening as they can give you support at home when your friends aren't around.

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Old 23-06-2018, 07:09 PM   #3
Fred!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nonperson View Post
Well done for going to your GP and recognising that you need some help.

Try to remember you might not have the same experience with MH services as last time. Be honest with them about the problems it caused you in the past and they will be able to help you avoid it happening again.

Do you think you'll tell your parents eventually? You don't have to tell them straight away and it's good you do have friends that know what's going on, but if they know you're not eating much they might suspect what is happening anyway. It might be helpful to have the people you live with know what is happening as they can give you support at home when your friends aren't around.
Hey thanks for your response.
I have a good relationship with my GP and currently see her fairly regularly.
I have a very big distrust of the MH service :( so not sure I can cope with "professionals" again. But I will try.
My parents know I'm not eating much but I haven't told them about the referral and stuff. I will probably eventually if it ends up being lots of appointments and stuff like that. They worry so much. If I get 'ill' then I'll tell them I'm getting help because it will hopefully help them to not worry so much.



Death is one moment, and life is so many of them.

Don't look forward to the day you stop suffering, because when it comes you'll know you're dead.

~ Tennessee Williams


I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad,
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had.


I'm actually a girl. My nickname was given by a friend and stuck ;)

Fred! is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23-06-2018, 07:42 PM   #4
nonperson
 
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It's hard when parents worry but they do it because they care. I'm sure they would feel better knowing you were getting help even if you didn't go into details about it with them.

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Old 23-06-2018, 07:44 PM   #5
Fred!
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I know. It's just very hard when they get all emotional about it. Then mum says really silly triggering stuff... she body shames people (in front of me) and even once when I'd been really bad last year, but ate 1 piece of chocolate, she said 'well that's not the kind of thing someone who is losing weight should be eating' so I couldn't eat for the rest of the day... or the next -_- she doesn't mean to do it but then she gets super upset when I tell her it's not helpful, which is even worse. Ugh... sorry.



Death is one moment, and life is so many of them.

Don't look forward to the day you stop suffering, because when it comes you'll know you're dead.

~ Tennessee Williams


I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad,
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had.


I'm actually a girl. My nickname was given by a friend and stuck ;)

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Old 23-06-2018, 07:49 PM   #6
nonperson
 
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It's ok, rant away!

Maybe it's because she doesn't or can't quite understand it.

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Old 24-06-2018, 11:55 AM   #7
Fred!
Jesus loves me, however much I don't <3
 
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Join Date: Mar 2011
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I don't know if she gets it or not. :/



Death is one moment, and life is so many of them.

Don't look forward to the day you stop suffering, because when it comes you'll know you're dead.

~ Tennessee Williams


I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad,
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had.


I'm actually a girl. My nickname was given by a friend and stuck ;)

Fred! is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 28-06-2018, 10:54 AM   #8
Fred!
Jesus loves me, however much I don't <3
 
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Join Date: Mar 2011
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Thankfully, my GP has been able to refer me to a charity and not the ED Service which is slightly less scary, but more likely means going to 'groups' which I hate with a passion.
I'm still really scared about it all and my ED, and recovery. I'm so muddled right now.



Death is one moment, and life is so many of them.

Don't look forward to the day you stop suffering, because when it comes you'll know you're dead.

~ Tennessee Williams


I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad,
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had.


I'm actually a girl. My nickname was given by a friend and stuck ;)

Fred! is offline   Reply With Quote
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