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Old 13-05-2018, 03:14 AM   #1
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Unsure of What to do

It's been a long time, maybe even a year, since I've been on this website, but here I am again. A lot has happened, and I'm really just not sure of what to do anymore. My parents sent my sister away to a therapeutic wilderness camp, then a boarding school. I realized I was bisexual, my Dad found out after what I assume was going through my computer, and forced my hand in telling him. My sister betrayed my trust and told not only my mother but almost all of her friends, despite me asking her not to. (This was while she was visiting her for a bit) My parents have implemented a new set of rules, for which they gave me a literal three page, front and back rule book, and, based on the book, are treating me as if I were on probation. I feel as though I'm growing more and more distant from my family every day. It seems like all but ten of the people in my city are assholes, and the rest of the good people I know have moved away. I keep trying to make new friends, only to find out they're shitty people. According to the rule book my parents gave me, they could literally choose whether or not they are going to allow me to have a job. They want to be able to go through all of my social media and browsing history. While neither of these is an issue, as I use TOR to bounce everything I do so that it is untraceable, it displays the lack of trust they have in me. They are overcome with this paranoid fear that I will become the alcoholic thief that my sister was, despite the fact that they lack any evidence to back up such claims. Not only this, but they also want to give me random alcohol and drug tests. I've attempted to negotiate these things, but they refuse to budge. The nice things I receive from living here, at least to me, is not worth the lack of privacy and control I have over my own life. I'm willing to give up anything and everything from my phone to my computer, if it means I can get away from this place. It's getting to the point where I just wanna save up enough money to get a cheap car, and get the fuck out of here. Before I can do that though, I need to get emancipated. However, I've already spoken to a lawyer, and discussed my situation, and they say I have a good case. Now I just need to figure out how to get the money I need for this, and what I'm going to do once I've gone through with it. I cannot stand living with my constantly degrading family for two more years, especially when they are so delusional that they are unable to admit that the way they are treating me is wrong. They seem to believe that this complete invasion of privacy, lack of trust, and outright disrespect for me in general, is "normal parenting". They seem to think that bringing up something wrong I've done, or something I've not done that I should've done, in response to every time I try to have a conversation with them, and hardly ever actually congratulating me for what I've done right, is "normal parenting". The only issue is I know just how difficult it will be to escape from their grasps, and I'm unsure of what they are legally able to do to try and prevent me from leaving. I have no idea the extent to which they can legally go to prevent me from leaving, or if they would even stay within those legal limits. It pains me that it has come to this point, but continuing to live with them has completely destroyed my mental state. Does anyone have any advice on my situation, or anything I have stated above?



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Old 15-05-2018, 07:27 PM   #2
Pi.R^2
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It sounds like you're finding things really difficult at the moment and I'm sorry you don't feel as though your parents respect, trust or value you, as those are all really important things to feel! Is there anyone- a family member, therapist perhaps- who would be able to mediate between you and your parents? Perhaps an 'outside' perspective would help facilitate a discussion between you and your parents about their parenting choices and help both parties to understand each other a little better and hopefully reach an agreement that doesn't feel completely one sided.

Are you able to talk again to the lawyer you spoke to? They would be best placed to answer your legal questions about leaving home. Perhaps they might even have some recommendations about how to raise the funds required.



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Old 02-06-2018, 04:36 AM   #3
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I've had plenty of therapists to speak about the family issues, but no matter how blatantly clear it is in certain situations that my parents are at fault, they also side with them. I can't blame them, really, because, after all, they're the ones paying them. The lawyer just said to apply to jobs but I'm also thinking about trying to work with a friend to save up money, and do a joint case, is that's even possible. Their parents are also terrible, but theirs are actively physical, not just verbal.



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Old 02-06-2018, 09:57 PM   #4
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That's rubbish that you feel that the therapists are biased against you because of where the money is coming from. I have no idea about the legality of seeking emancipation with someone else, but if nothing else it would be great for you two to have each other for support through this. Wishing you the best of luck with whatever you decide.



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